You Trip Me Up
by scatterthestars
Summary: Kurt was eight when he lost both his parents and adopted by the Andersons, seventeen when he realized he loved Blaine, and eighteen when he ran from what he couldn't have. Now at twenty-one, he's back at the Anderson's home to spend the summer months there. It's in those months that everything changes in ways he only dreamed of, and discovers things he never knew.
1. Chapter 1

**Another story I've started working on when I probably shouldn't. The title comes from the Matt Nathanson song Lucky Boy.**

* * *

Kurt's heavy boots hit the wooden floor, the _thunk thunk thunk_ of them making it obvious to anyone that was at home he was there.

Funny he should call this place home when it was far from that the last two years he resided here. He would never say he lived here, because to live there would imply he did that at all.

He can clearly remember coming to this place at eight years old; shaking and frightened and heartbroken, still, over his parents as the woman who held his hand and explained this is where he would be staying from now on.

"Now, Kurt," he distinctly remembers her saying. "This is your new home. These nice people here have graciously decided to take you in and raise you."

"Yes, ma'am," Kurt had quietly replied, nodding his head. He looked to the couple standing in front of him, both of them smiling wide with eyes filled with joy.

Seeing them, he thought, then, that things were perhaps looking up.

But now, that is far from what happened after everything that has happened.

Getting a glimpse of how he looks in the hallway mirror, seeing the glisten of the metal loop of his ear piercing at the top of his ear as it catches the shine of the sun as it spills through the front, double stacked windows. Running a hand through his tussled hair, trying to calm the craziness of it, he knows it's no use. It doesn't matter how hard he tries to make himself presentable to them because they will always see the one flaw he can't control.

Saying fuck it and deciding to give up, Kurt lets a smile appear on his lips, only to drop it after seeing how out of place it seems on him. Stuffing his hands in the pockets of his black, leather jacket, he makes his way to where he knows he'll find mommy and daddy dearest at this time of day.

The heavy hitting of his boots is loud once again as pushes his way into the small dining area. He grins at the immediate shock and surprise that registers on the faces of the two people that he used to believe were his new parents. Not anymore, that's for sure.

"Hey, fam," he says, striding over and pulling out one of the chairs lining the table, plopping down and throwing an arm over the back of the chair as he leaned back. "I know how much y'all hate surprises, but I just couldn't help myself." Kurt chuckles as that earns a glare from the man sitting at the head of the table. He laughs even more at noticing the piece of steak still on his fork, as if he caught him mid-bite.

"How long this time?" The menacing man, John, asks; voice deep and filled a slight rage.

"Few months," Kurt answers, grabbing a roll from the basket sitting in the middle of the table. "I promise not to fuck any random strangers in the house this time," he says, mentally laughing at what transpired the last time he was here and he did just that. To say the 'rents where angry was an understatement of the century.

"I highly doubt that," the middle-aged lady, Sarah, with a trill voice says under her breath, but still loud enough to be heard, as she reaches for one of the many glasses sitting in front of her.

Right when Kurt was about to make a snide comment, someone was bursting through the door from which he just came.

Eyes landing on curled hair slightly tamed with gel, eyes the color of molten caramel, and a smile that always makes him feel better, Kurt grins as Blaine takes notice of him.

"Kurt!" Blaine yells, going over to him and hugging him like crazy, just as Kurt suspected he would do. Blaine is the only person he allows to hug him like this; to let him pull his body close and tightly hold him.

Kurt recalls meeting Blaine that first day he arrived. Pleated khakis and a navy blue sweater vest over a button up, hair gelled and swept back some, Kurt thought he was cuter than any boy he had ever seen.

They instantly bonded, becoming friends closer than peas in a pod. They shared everything together: the good, the bad, and the not so pretty. Blaine was the first person Kurt went to and told he was gay, feeling relief when he hugged him and said it didn't matter; that he still loved him for who he was.

Blaine was still even there after he told the Anderson's and they had pretty much turned their backs on him. No longer looked at with the respect they gave him, Kurt cried on Blaine's shoulder many nights as he held him. He still acknowledged him as the great guy he was even though his parents basically told him to stay away.

So, having Blaine hugging the ever living daylights out of him right now in front of his parents feels kind of good. Which is why Kurt lifts his arms and pulls him closer; grinning at the scold Mrs. Anderson gives him. It's times like that he wishes he could just shoot her the middle finger.

"Hi, Blaine," Kurt says, feeling him finally release his hold of him. "It's been too long since I saw you."

"It's been almost ten months, Kurt," Blaine reminds him. "And you were only here for three days the last time."

Huh, Kurt thinks, he didn't think it was that long. Once he was old enough, he left this house and ran away from the seed he didn't mean to plant that night so many nights ago. Since then, he avoids coming back at all costs; not wanting to see the Anderson's and endure their comments and looks. The only reason he ever does come is to see Blaine even though when he leaves it's always with a deeper longing for what he wants but doesn't have.

"Well, you're stuck with me for the next few months," he says, taking his seat once again, watching Blaine walk to the other side of the table and take a seat. Thanking the maid, Mrs. Gray, who's always loved him, for setting a plate down in front of him.

"You're welcome, Kurt," she tells him, giving him a small pat on the back. "I'll be right out with yours, Blaine," she politely says.

"Thank you. So, Kurt," Blaine starts off, smiling at him. "What have you been up to?"

Kurt hears both of Blaine's parents scoff, definitely not interested in what and who he's been doing. But he never wastes an opportunity to get them even angrier. So, he starts to tell Blaine about the past couple of months. He tells him everything about the places he's been and the people he has met; about the sights and attractions he's seen. But being gracious enough, he leaves out all the people he hooked up with, knowing that would only result in Blaine's parents getting further annoyed with him.

"Enough talk about Kurt," Sarah says. "Blaine, honey, how were your finals?"

Kurt lets out an annoyed sigh and looks at Blaine and shrugs his shoulders, seeing the small smile he gives him.

* * *

Throwing himself on his bed in his room, he sprawls out and stretches his arms. Looking around at his old room, he sees everything as it was since he left the last time. Hanging on his wall and scattered on top of his chest are drawings and sketches that he did long ago. Picking one of them up and seeing the love and passion he put behind the picture, he thinks about how it's been years since he's put a pencil to paper and drawn something.

Dropping the picture, seeing it fall to the floor, he walks and sits on the edge of his bed and looks around at his room he'll be sleeping in for the next few months.

He can distinctly remember days of Blaine and him when they were young and playing in here or having a sleep over in his room during the summer. He also remembers Blaine trying to stop him as he pushed open the window and climbed out so he could go out and have some fun. Always ignoring his attempts to stop him, even trying to get him to come with him on a few occasions, Kurt would smile and jump off the side roof and leave. The thing that always surprised him, though, was climbing back into his room and finding Blaine asleep on his bed. As if he waited for him to make sure he would be okay. And every time he did that, Kurt would strip down to his boxers and undershirt and climb in his bed beside him. He would pull him close and nuzzle his nose in the back of his neck, getting a lungful of Blaine's bodywash that smelled of honey and milk, and fall asleep. But every morning he would wake up to an empty bed and a hard on from being so close to Blaine for those few hours they slept.

Turning his head when he hears his door open, seeing Blaine step into his room, Kurt pats the space next to him in invitation.

The bed dips when Blaine sits down and lies back.

"So, Blaine," Kurt says. "How's life?"

"The usual," Blaine replies, turning his head and smiling at him. "Just finished my third year of college."

Kurt watches as those pink lips stretch over teeth, and he goes back to that night. He goes back to just the two of them in the house and standing in the middle of the kitchen as they hungrily kissed each other. Thinking about that, though, makes him remember how Blaine walked away less than a few minutes later. But quickly pulling himself from that memory and coming back to reality, he returns Blaine's smile. "How's the girlfriend?" he asks, not sure if he really cares.

The first time he came back after he left, about six months later, Kurt was heartbroken to learn that Blaine had a girlfriend that he could easily see he liked. He left two days later and didn't come back for a year.

"She's great. We're still doing great."

"It's been how long now?"

"Three years," Blaine replies.

"I'm happy you're happy," Kurt quietly tells him, although he feels his heart twist in his chest.

The worst part about having feelings for Blaine, other than the fact that he has a girlfriend, is having Blaine being clueless to how he feels. He's pretty sure after that night he suspects, but he has yet to come right out and ask him, and he has never told him.

Sitting up and seeing it's only nine-thirty, Kurt decides he needs to get out of here and forget about how he feels about Blaine for a few hours. "I'm going out," he announces, patting his pocket where his keys are.

"Where are you going?" Blaine curiously asks as he sits up.

"Just out. Go have some fun." Blaine drops his head and looks at his hands. "Want to come with me?"

"Wha-...No, I shouldn't," Blaine responds as he shakes his head.

"Suit yourself." Kurt walks to his door and out of his room, taking the stairs down two at a time.

Walking out of the house and to his car, needing to remember to grab his duffle bag full of his clothes from the back, Kurt takes a deep breath. Climbing in, he starts the car and drives away, already looking forward to going to his usual place.

He's back less than two hours and he's already feeling old feelings he thought he longed buried surface and create a storm of emotions in his body.

For so long, he thought he escaped what he felt for Blaine, but a few minutes alone with him and he is back to being seventeen and realizing he was in love with him.

Driving away, he makes the decision to not let his heart get in the way of this summer and continue to be the emotionless person he has learned to become over the past four years. No attachments to people he meets in bars who he knows always replace the one person he's wanted more than anything in the world.

Grabbing his phone from his inside jacket pocket, he hits ignore when he sees Blaine's name flash across his screen.

"Why can't I let you go?" he asks himself out loud as he places his phone face down in the passenger seat and turns on the car radio.

* * *

"You should call me," the guy, Tim, or was it Tom, Kurt doesn't care to remember, says as he stands up.

"No, thanks," Kurt says with a snort, not believing this guy.

The bathroom is no different than he remembers it to be since he's last been here almost a year ago. The floors are still sticky and there is graffiti all over the walls. He can hear other guys hooking up in the stalls next to him.

He's gotten what he wanted and has no plans to ever see this guy again.

"Why?" Tim or Tom asks.

"Because, besides giving great head, everything else about you is boring." Kurt zips up his pants and walks out of the stall and out of the dirty bathroom.

Tired of the music and the crowd of people in the bar and not really interested in drinking anymore, he decides to go back to the house.

Climbing in his car, he rolls down his window and lights a cigarette.

Driving back home, blowing smoke out the window and making sure not to get in an accident or get pulled over, his mind wonders to Blaine and how heart stopping it was to see him again after so long.

He doesn't know just yet if it was right in coming back here. If it was right in making the choice to face everything he's been running from for four years. He wants to put that night and what it started behind him. But it's not as easy as it seems. It's not like a broken plate that the pieces can be easily picked up and thrown away. This is a puzzle with too many pieces that creates an unforeseeable picture when arranged perfectly.

Thinking about it now, he isn't sure if he's ready to face all of that, but is ready.

Flicking out his cigarette butt, he rolls his window back up and focuses on getting back to the house in one piece.

* * *

Opening his bedroom door, he holds in his laugh at seeing Blaine fast asleep on his bed. Stripping out of all his clothes, except for his boxers, he climbs into bed with Blaine. Snuggling close to him, feeling his heart pick up its pace, he throws an arm over Blaine's back and rests his head close to his.

"Kurt?" Blaine sleepily says.

"Yeah, it's me," Kurt tells him, soothing his hand over Blaine's back.

Closing his eyes, and on the brink of sleep, he smiles at what Blaine tells him next.

"I'm glad your back."

Kurt knows he's talking about more than being back after going out for the night.

* * *

Opening his eyes a few hours later and groaning, feeling like an elephant stomped on his head, Kurt doesn't even have to look to know Blaine is gone. The warmth that is always there when he sleeps with him is gone, creating a bit of a hurt in Kurt.

On mornings after Blaine sleeps in bed with him, he wishes once he could wake up and still find him there in bed with him.

Sitting up, and getting a bit dizzy, he drops his head in his hands and wishes the pain would cease in his head. Seeing a glass of water and some Advil on his bedside table, he smiles at how well Ms. Gray knows him. Knocking back the pills, he gets out of bed and walks the few steps to his connecting bathroom.

Pushing his underwear down his legs, he steps into the tiled shower and turns on the scorching hot water, immediately feeling his muscles loosen and relax.

Drying off and pulling on the same clothes from the day before, really needing to grab his bag, he heads downstairs and to the kitchen. Finding Mrs. Gray cooking breakfast, he takes a seat at the island in the middle of the kitchen. "Morning," he tells her.

"I'm making your favorite," Mrs. Gray, or as she keeps reminding him to call her, Tilly, says with an easy smile.

"Thanks." He takes the cup of coffee she offers him, stepping off the stool and grabbing the cream from the fridge. "They in the dining area?"

"For about fifteen minutes now," she replies. "You eating in here this morning?"

"Yes, Tilly." He smiles at her, one of the few people he gives a genuine smile to. Thanking her when she sets a plate of cheesy, scrambled eggs and bacon in front of him, Kurt quickly begins to dig in. Forkful of eggs are mid-way to his mouth when he hears Blaine's voice nearby in the dining area.

"You still sweet on him?" Tilly asks with a small smile, preparing a plate for Blaine.

Kurt isn't the least surprised by the question, knowing that Tilly could read him like an open book. She was, also, the only other person, besides Blaine, he talked and told pretty much everything to.

Tilly sort of became the Aunt, or he would even venture to as far as say, mom, he never really had but needed growing up. He can remember her reading to him at night those first two years he lived here, knowing that always helped him fall asleep. He remembers her always sneaking him extra cookies when Mrs. Anderson said no. She was there to comfort and hold him when the Mr. and Mrs. Anderson no longer treated him like the son he once was to them. He knows Tilly is really the one to have raised him when he lived here.

"That obvious?" he pitifully asks; not surprised by how easy Tilly could tell.

"To me. Yeah."

"Yeah, it's still there." Kurt thinks about how his feelings for Blaine, although he wishes them gone, have only managed to grow over the past years. The way his heart skips a beat anytime he enters the room, or how tightly he holds him close those nights when he's asleep in his bed. But he thinks about waking up alone and a girl he doesn't know that he's jealous of. "Don't know why. Nothing will ever happen."

"That boy's sweet on you, too."

"As a friend," Kurt adds, noticing Tilly shake her head, wondering what she is thinking.

"That boy's sweet on you like you're sweet on him." Tilly grins at him, setting a piece of buttered toast on his plate.

"I can think I can safely say that you have officially lost it, Tilly," Kurt jokes as he takes a bite of his toast, swerving when Tilly tries to playfully smack him.

"Don't go and be rude to me, Kurt."

"Never."

Finishing his breakfast, he goes up to Tilly and hugs her from behind. "It's great seeing you again, Till," he says as he holds her tight and close to his body.

"It's great seeing you again, Kurt." She pats his arm in a comforting way. "You've been gone too long for my liking."

"Sorry," Kurt apologizes. "I love you, Till," he tells her, planting a wet kiss on her cheek. Besides Blaine, and only in a friendly way so far, Tilly is the only person he tells that he loves them.

"I love you, too, Kurt."

Letting her go, Kurt walks out of the kitchen and heads for the backyard. Finding everything as it was, he sits down in one of the deck chairs, lifting his feet up on the table and pulling a cigarette out. Putting it between his lips and patting his pocket for his Zippo, he flicks it until a small flame appears. Cupping the end of his cigarette, he lights it and closes the top of the Zippo, putting it back in his pocket.

Looking out at the grand backyard, always wondering why the hell somebody would need this much land, he smokes and enjoys the calm and quite that comes with being alone.

"I thought you might have quit," Blaine says as he sits down next to him.

"I'm trying right now. Only allow myself three a day." Kurt takes a drag of his cigarette and blows a ring with the smoke. "It's working for me; got down from a pack and a half a day."

"That's good." Blaine looks at him with a small smile. "What'd you do last night?"

"Drank and let some guy blow me. So…the usual." Kurt chuckles and looks to Blaine, only to find him no longer smiling and looking upset. Thinking it was what he said, Kurt says, "You asked and I answered."

"I did, didn't I," Blaine says with a hint of anger lacing his voice.

"Don't get mad at me for letting some guy blow me. It's what I wanted and he offered."

"Do you even remember his name, Kurt?" Blaine angrily says.

Kurt rests his head back on the chair, taking a long drag of his cigarette and blowing the smoke out through his nose. "I think it was Tom or Tim. It could have been Thames; I'm not sure. I really couldn't ask him when he was sucking me off."

"So, you'll let a total fucking stranger do that? A guy you can't even bother to remember the name of?"

For some reason that gets Kurt's attention. Whipping his head up and looking at Blaine, and yeah, he sees he's mad, but he also notices the hurt in his eyes. It's then that he realizes Blaine is jealous. He's jealous of some random fucking stranger Kurt has no interest in seeing again. "Don't be mad and angry at me, Blaine!" Kurt stands up and drops his cigarette to the ground, putting it out with the heel of his boot. "I gave you a chance and you walked away! Because of that, I think I'm allowed to fuck whoever I want!"

"Typical Kurt: fuck any guy that offers!" Blaine stands up and looks at him as if he might do something.

Kurt can see it in his eyes, eyes that dart to his lips more than once as they stand there, that he wants to kiss him. He wants to be the guy Kurt goes to when he is looking for a good time. But he knows him. Knows he'll never give into what he's been denying himself, and Kurt, of what they both want. And Kurt wishes with all his heart that Blaine would see how stupid he is being that by refusing himself this one thing that it's creating a tear in the fabric of the friendship they share. That by denying himself to be with Kurt, it's making them both slowly pull away from each other.

Knowing that; knowing that Blaine will never give in, Kurt does what he does. He goes out and sleeps with men and tries to forget the one guy that constantly invades his mind. Thinking sleeping with them will help, he always comes to realize it only makes him ache for the touch of another, the kiss of lips that fit perfectly to his from the one experience he's had of kissing them. It always makes him think of Blaine and wanting him to be the guy in bed next to him.

Kurt knows he can only go so long as Blaine's friend, continue hanging out with him, before he can't anymore; before he can't be near him without telling him the truth of how he feels. He doesn't want to tell him something he is scared will most likely never be said in return to him how he wants from Blaine.

That's why he ran when it became too much; when it became too complicated to be around him when he knew he would never have him.

He figures that's why he came here this summer: to try and finally get over Blaine and move on. This summer could be his time to get over an unrequited love. But less than a day back and he's already back to being hopelessly in love with Blaine and wanting him to step over that damn line he's set that he doesn't want cross when it comes to him and what they obviously have between them.

"Don't be jealous because it's not you!" Kurt yells. He sees as that triggers something in Blaine that has him taking a step back. Watching him walk away, Kurt goes to his car and drives off, needing to forget about this and be somewhere else for a few hours.


	2. Chapter 2

**Thank you to everybody reading and favorited and following this story. Also, thanks to the people that left comments. I appreciate all of it.**

* * *

Pulling up to the Anderson's house later that evening, Kurt knows there's only one person he cares to see at the moment.

Walking into the house and shrugging out of his jacket, he goes to where he'll most likely find Tilly.

"Hey, Till," he says as he walks into the kitchen.

"Oh, Kurt, you're back."

"Yeah, I'm back." Kurt sighs as he sits down and grabs an apple, knowing he has no other place to go.

"Why'd you storm out earlier?"

Dropping his head to the tabletop in frustration, he considers just leaving again and avoiding having to face Blaine again. He was hurt by what he said to him and needing some time and space from him for a few hours.

"What's wrong?" Tilly asks.

"Blaine's being a jealous asshole," Kurt tells her as he keeps his forehead to the tabletop.

"How so?"

"He refuses me when I offered four years ago and gets upset when I go and hookup with a guy." Kurt lifts his head and looks at Tilly.

"What happened four years ago?"

"Oh, yeah, I never told you. I kissed him and invited him back to my room, and he ran away like a scared little boy."

"He's not a boy anymore, Kurt. Maybe you should ask him again and see the man he's become."

"Why? I'll just get the same response."

"You never know."

"I do know," Kurt replies back. "And I don't want to be hurt again."

"You're always going to be hurt one way or another. If you never try again you may never know what could have been between you two."

"I do know what could be between us," Kurt says, taking a bite of his apple. "I just need him to realize what could be between us, too."

"Maybe he will soon."

"Maybe. Hopefully, because this game of cat and mouse is tiring." Kurt stands up, takes another bite of his apple and throws away the rest. Going upstairs to his room, he's taken by surprise when Blaine throws his arms around him and hugs him tight.

"I'm so sorry, Kurt," he apologizes. "I shouldn't have said that."

"It's okay. I forgive you." He knows he could never hate Blaine for long, especially when he sounds as upset as he does at the moment. Besides, he's constantly forgiving him when he breaks his heart over and over again when he doesn't realize he does it. He'll always forgive him.

"Kurt?" Blaine softly says.

"Yeah?"

"Where did you go?"

"I went to the cemetery to see my parents," he quietly replies.

"Sorry I couldn't go with you."

"It's okay." He steps out of Blaine's embrace and walks to his bed, throwing himself on it. Grabbing his phone when it rings, he sees a number he instantly recognizes. "Hey," he says when he answers. "Surprised it took you this long to realize I'm here."

"It's not my fault I wasn't at the bar last night," Zac, his casual hookup when he's here, says.

"Want me to come over tonight?"

"Do you even need to ask?"

"I guess not," Kurt replies with a small laugh, sitting up and seeing that Blaine is still in his room. He keeps his eyes locked on his as he talks to Zac, seeing the jealousy from that morning back. "Hey, I'll see you in a few, alright?"

"Okay."

Ending his call, he stands up and kicks off his boots. "What?" he asks as he removes his shirt.

"Who was that?" Blaine asks with jealousy lacing his voice.

"Zac," Kurt responds without looking at Blaine. "We fool around while I'm here. He wants to see me, so I'm going."

Grabbing a fresh pair of clothes from his drawer, Kurt stares into Blaine's exquisite eyes when he's suddenly making him face him and he's right there in his personal space.

"Don't go, Kurt," he begs, pleading with him with his eyes.

"Why? I think I deserve to have some fun while I'm here." Breaking his gaze of Blaine's, he pulls everything from his pockets and drops it on top of his dresser. Loose change and crinkled wrappers from gum and candy scattering all over the top. But grabbing his lighter, he picks it up and out of habit flicks it on and off. Dropping his lighter on the dresser, he unbuttons his jeans and pushes them down his legs, kicking them away.

"Please stay!"

"If you gave me a reason, I would." He looks back at Blaine, seeing the sadness filling his big, beautiful eyes as he stares at him. He doesn't want to hurt him, but he needs a reason to stay for him. "Give me a reason and I'll stay."

Seeing Blaine open his mouth to say something, Kurt feels his heart slow a bit at thinking maybe he will actually say something and ask him to stay. He thinks maybe this is the 'maybe' he's been waiting for. But, nodding his head, not the least bit surprised, when Blaine takes a few steps back and walks out of the room; he feels his heart drop, again, at Blaine walking away.

Quickly getting dressed, he goes out to his car and drives away.

* * *

Knocking on Zac's door thirty minutes later, Kurt grins at him when opens his door.

Zac is twenty-five with short, dark hair, chocolate colored eyes and a body to die for. Kurt has been doing this hooking up with him ever since he came back to visit the second time and met him at the bar.

"You have an earring," Zac says in way of greeting.

"I do," Kurt replies.

Being pulled into the apartment, he kicks the door shut and attaches his lips to Zac's.

* * *

Stepping into the Anderson's kitchen the next morning, Kurt finds Tilly cooking like usual. Stretching his arms and trying to pop his back, yawning big, he smiles at her.

"You alright?" she asks.

"Sore," he replies. "Not the greatest night of sleep." He watches Tilly go to drawer and pull out a pill bottle, opening and pouring out two pain killers. She fills a glass of water and walks over to him, handing him the pills and glass.

"Here. These should help."

"Thanks." Kurt knocks them back and drinks half the glass of water, thirstier than he thought. Setting the glass down, he stands up and plants a kiss to Tilly's cheek. "I'm going to go take a shower and relax."

Heading out of the kitchen, ignoring Sarah as he passes her on the grand staircase, he stretches his arms again and walks down the hall to his room. Opening his door, he sighs and drops his shoulders when he sees Blaine sitting on his bed.

He knows there is no avoiding talking to him now.

"How was it?" Blaine asks as he looks to him when he closes the door behind him with a loud slam.

"Truth?" He sees Blaine nod his head yes. "Why do you want the truth? What if I told you I fucked him all night like we both wanted. It'll only make you angrier with me for going out and making the easy choice to be with him for some fun."

"Is that what happened?"

Kurt wraps his hands around his neck and drops his head back, annoyed and pissed with all of it. "Will you be mad at me if it was?"

"Even if I was, I know it would be my own fault. I almost in a way pushed you to him. So, yeah, I'll be mad...but at me and not you."

Kurt closes his eyes and takes a deep breath. He figures he could lie and tell Blaine what he _doesn't_ want to hear. But he can't do that to him; he has to tell him the truth. Lifting his head and looking at Blaine, he tells him what really happened.

_Kurt furiously kisses Zac, moaning into his mouth when he presses him against the door and slots their hips together._

_It's always been easy to forget about all of his problems and let himself fuck Zac without regret. But something about right now is different. He kisses Zac, but flashes of Blaine's sadness filled eyes keep filling his mind. How he looked and sounded when he begged him to stay._

_Feeling Zac begin to work his jeans open, knuckles brushing his skin as they still kiss, he thinks about Blaine and how he must be feeling right now. He thinks about him trying to stay put together for his parents but being upset and angry on the inside._

_"Everything okay?" Zac asks after realizing he's not kissing back anymore._

_"No," Kurt replies shaking his head. "I'm sorry. I...I can't do this." He pushes Zac away and does his belt back._

_"What's wrong?" Zac asks confused._

_"I..." Kurt wants to say he can't do that to Blaine, but he'll know Zac will be even further confused about that. He isn't sure what it is about now, what it is that Blaine has done that has him regretting even coming here. "I just can't do this," he says, opening the door and walking out._

_Running out to his and getting behind the wheel, slightly trembling and crying, he turns on his car and drives back to the house. It's half-way to the house that he remembers that Blaine will most likely be asleep on his bed waiting for him to come back. He doesn't want to see him and handle all the things he will have to say to explain why he's back as early as he is._

"I went to a store that stayed open all night and walked around. I actually fell asleep in a beanbag chair, which I don't recommend."

"You...you d-didn't?" Blaine stutters out.

"All I could think about was you," Kurt tells him. "I couldn't do that to you. In some fucked up way I couldn't hurt you when you're not mine to hurt."

"Thanks." Blaine lets a grin spread across his face as if he's just gotten the greatest news in the world.

"Just because I say that doesn't mean I'm happy with you."

"How so?"

"You can't...want me and not do anything about it, and then get angry and jealous when I'm with someone else, and then get happy when I can't be with someone because of you!" Kurt explains in anger and frustration. "I'm tired of playing chase with you Blaine. I feel like a hamster on a wheel constantly running and getting worn out, and going nowhere."

"I'm sorry. I never wanted you to feel that way." Kurt looks at Blaine as he considers his next words very carefully. "I just hate the thought of someone else having you when it could so easily be me."

"Yeah, it could so easily be you, couldn't it?" Kurt grabs a clean towel. "But you walked away."

"How long 'til you forgive me for that?"

"When you make it right like I know you obviously want," Kurt tells him.

"I don't know if and when I can do that."

Kurt minutely nods his head as he fights to hold back from crying, hating that Blaine is giving him that glimmer of hope at something possibly happening between them when he doesn't need it.

"I don't know what it is that's holding you back, Blaine," Kurt starts to tell him. "But I don't know how much longer I can go on like this."

"Go on like what?"

"Pining so desperately for someone as he just stands there and does nothing about it," Kurt tells him.

"I need time to figure things out, Kurt."

"You've had four years. Isn't that long enough?"

Blaine doesn't answer and Kurt gets beyond pissed off, not understanding what kind of sign Blaine needs for him to take notice of him waving his arms and calling out for him.

"I'm taking a shower now, so can you please fucking leave." He watches Blaine start to walk to his door and open it. "Blaine!" he quietly calls out to stop him before leaving.

"What?" Blaine looks to him.

"There's no reason for you to know this, but I wanted to tell you that by choices that are mine, no one has had me in the way you think." Kurt watches Blaine's face register with complete shock as he understands what he just told him.

Turning on his heel, Kurt walks into his bathroom and sags against the door, sliding down to the floor. Hearing his bedroom door finally close a few minutes later, he wonders how much longer he can go on being that hamster on the wheel before he steps off.


	3. Chapter 3

Kurt is sprawled out on the couch, even though Sarah constantly tells him not to lie on it, watching Family Guy when he hears a voice he doesn't recognize.

Shutting off the TV and walking to where he hears people talking, he comes to the small library and finds everybody, plus a girl he can instantly guess who she is.

She is tall and lithe with long, brown hair that goes past her shoulders, her eyes almost as blue as his and smile that lights up the whole fucking room. Eyes landing on Blaine next to her, he sees him and notices he's about to say something, but quickly closing his mouth again.

"Oh, my god!" the girl says when she notices Kurt. She jumps up and runs to him, surprising him by throwing herself into his arms, making him uncomfortable. "You must be Kurt. Blaine has told me a lot about you." She pulls back and beams at him. "I'm Kennedy."

"Nice to meet you," Kurt tries to say as politely as he can.

"It's great to finally meet you. Blaine never stops talking about you. I thought I would never meet the ever elusive Kurt that Blaine clearly cares for." Kennedy smiles at him with her bright smile, Kurt quickly glancing to Blaine over her shoulder, seeing him shrug his shoulders. "My, you sure are gorgeous."

"Um...Thanks; I guess." Kurt wants to turn around and leave and not have to deal with this right now. "You're only the third person to tell me that." He darts his eyes to Blaine and sees him relive when he told him that in the kitchen that night four years ago. Kurt can still feel as his heart skipped a beat, a blush stained his cheeks, and he was left momentarily speechless as Blaine looked at him in a way that backed up what he just said.

"Well," Kennedy says, pulling his mind of that thought and his eyes from Blaine. "More people need to tell you because it's the truth."

"Kennedy. That's an interesting name. What's the story behind that one?"

"When everyone was swooning over John Lennon, my momma was infatuated with John F. Kennedy. When I was born, my daddy refused to let her name me Jacqueline, Jack for short like they called him. So, they agreed on Kennedy."

"It's a very unique name," Kurt says as he minutely smiles at her.

Letting Kennedy walk to Sarah when she calls her, Kurt walks over to the couch Blaine is sitting on and sits down next to him.

"So...she's pretty," Kurt politely says.

"Yeah," Blaine uninterestedly replies.

"Don't try to be too enthusiastic when you talk about her, Blaine," Kurt tries to joke, but it coming out a bit harsher than intended.

"She's not the one occupying my thoughts with the mere presence of them in the room."

Kurt closes his eyes and takes a deep breath, trying to calm his racing heart at the comment. Opening his eyes and looking to Blaine, seeing him shyly smiling at him, he shivers when Blaine throws his arm back on the couch and purposely brushes his fingers along his neck.

The small contact is enough for Kurt to feel like a bolt of electricity just ran through his body. It makes him feel more alive than he's felt in months. The simple brush of fingers has him hating himself for how much he wants this.

He hates that he wants Blaine so much it occupies his mind all the time. He hates that he doesn't care that Blaine's girlfriend is less than five feet from them but all he can think about is Blaine continuing to do what he's doing.

But he gathers his strength, and knows he can't let this go on when he knows how Blaine is.

"Don't do that!" he demands under his breath as Blaine skims his fingers over the back of his neck again.

He watches as Kennedy stands a few feet in front of him and talks with Sarah and John. They don't suspect a thing as John swirls his glass of Scotch and Sarah tells Kennedy about something.

"Why?" Blaine quietly asks.

"Because it's confusing for me," Kurt tells him. "In the next moments you'll realize what you're doing and pull away."

"What if I'm learning to stay?"

Opening his mouth to tell Blaine to stop; to stop saying things he wants to hear, to stop touching him in a way that has him crossing his legs to hide the hard on he's getting, to just stop making him want him more. But, instead, he says, "I don't know if I can believe that."

"Dinner is ready," Tilly announces a few seconds later as Kurt sees Blaine try to say something back.

Thanking the high heavens, Kurt stands up and looks at Tilly as everybody walks ahead of him; he mouths the words help me, making her hold back her laugh.

Sitting down in his chair, seeing Kennedy sit next to Blaine, Kurt grabs the glass of red wine and drains it in one drink. Already knowing this is going to be a long dinner.

"So, Kurt," Kennedy says after they get served. "Tell me more about yourself?"

"What do you want to know?"

"Blaine tells me you came out at sixteen." Kurt can practically hear Sarah roll her eyes without looking, and John's scoff is loud enough to be heard by their neighbors. "How has that been?"

"As you can tell it hasn't been sunshine and daisies and prancing through fields." Kurt glares at John, literally saying fuck you with his eyes. "Mommy and daddy dearest here don't like that they've adopted a son that would rather be with men than women."

"My uncle is gay," Kennedy says in a comforting voice. "Trust me when I say there are supportive people that are there for you."

At that Kurt thinks of Tilly and looks to Blaine, who shoots him a smile. He sees him lean over and whisper something into Kennedy's ear, seeing her nod her head in understanding.

"Blaine tells me you draw," she says, Kurt knowing Blaine told her to change the topic of conversation.

"I used to. Haven't drawn anything in almost four years." Kurt grabs a dinner roll from the basket sitting on the table and tears a piece off and eats it.

"Why not? What happened?" Kennedy asks genuinely interested to know.

Kurt just glances at her and doesn't answer, taking another bite of the bread. How does he go about saying "I offered myself to Blaine four years ago, and when he walked away a piece of me died. Too bad it was my creative piece." Yeah, he thinks, a bit much to reveal to the girlfriend the first time you meet her.

"So, Mrs. Anderson," Kennedy happily says after realizing Kurt won't answer her question.

"Please, call me Sarah, Kennedy. We've known each other long enough to do that."

"So, Sarah," Kennedy says with a smile. "How are the arrangements coming along for the charity auction?"

After that, Kurt watches how Blaine interacts with Kennedy. Sees how happy he is and how she makes him laugh, but not his real laugh that always has him throwing his head back and eyes sparkling.

Stabbing a piece of his steak that Tilly sets down in front of him, he shoves it into his mouth and chews a bit more aggressively than he needs to. He rolls his eyes at Tilly as she sets Kennedy's plate down in front of her.

"Oh, sorry, Kennedy," Tilly says as she takes the plate away. "I forgot you were a vegetarian."

"It's okay, Ms. Gray," Kennedy politely says.

"I don't know about you," Kurt starts to say, stabbing another piece of his steak. "But I love having meat in my mouth."

He laughs when Blaine snorts as he takes a drink of his water, covering his mouth with his hand as water falls out of his mouth; also hearing Tilly chuckle under her breath as she exits the dining room.

"Kurt!" Sarah exclaims, looking at him with wide eyes and her mouth slightly hanging open in shock.

"Telling it like it is."

"No more of that at the table," John tells him, voice filled with frustration and anger. "We don't need to hear that."

Kurt looks back to Blaine and finds him intently staring at his mouth as if it he's never seen it before. He can practically see it in Blaine's eyes what he's thinking about; can see him imagining his mouth on him. And Kurt doesn't blame him; he's had those same thoughts thousands of times himself. Images of Blaine laying sprawled out on his bed, panting and moaning as he sucks him off flash across his mind, and Kurt bites his lip at the thought, seeing Blaine stare at his lip as he releases it a bit redder.

"Blaine?" Kurt hears Kennedy call him, breaking his attention and making him look to her.

"I'm sorry, what?" he says out of confusion.

Kurt goes back to finishing his dinner and barely paying attention to Blaine and Kennedy discussing with Sarah the charity auction party she is having at the end of the summer.

Standing close to the entrance after dinner, making sure not to be seen, Kurt listens in as Blaine says goodbye to Kennedy.

"I really enjoyed meeting Kurt," Kennedy says with her bubbly voice. "Is he always so closed like that?"

"You have to know him for some time before he even trusts himself to attempt to let you in," Blaine tells her, Kurt agreeing.

He rarely lets anyone in; rarely trusts people enough to let them in. He hides behind his walls he's so skillfully built over the years. Hides so no one can come in and hurt him. Only Blaine and Tilly are the two people that he has let in, and so far one of those people is managing to break his heart he should have guarded better. He knew better after what happened with the Anderson's to know he shouldn't have let Blaine in so easily.

"He's also very...snarky."

"That's Kurt through and through."

Kurt smiles at how true that is, also.

"I'll see you in a few weeks, I guess," Kennedy says.

"Yeah."

"I love you."

Kurt waits and listens for Blaine's reply; feels his heart hammering in his chest at what Blaine will say. He knows he can leave and not submit himself to this kind of torture; leave and pretend that Blaine doesn't reply. But he doesn't. He stays and feels his heart drop at Blaine easily saying the words back to Kennedy.

It's then he knows he's in love with a man who will never love him back like he wants.

Heading for the backyard and walking down the terrace to the grounds, he goes up to his favorite tree as a kid. The treehouse that was once there for Blaine and him no longer there, but the tire swing still hangs from one of the branches. Thinking back to being eleven and pushing Blaine in it, rushing to his side when he stood on top and held tight to the rope and swung but slipping and breaking his arm. That was the first time he realized he had a crush on Blaine. Seeing him hurting and wanting to hold him, comfort him; to kiss away his pain. That was when everything slowly started to change for him.

Sitting in the tire swing and barely pushing himself, he thinks about how hard he tried to hate Kennedy, but he can't. Even though he ignored her as much as he could, he saw how much of an amazing person she was. How sweet and kind and nice and girl next door she was. He saw how perfect she was for Blaine, and that tears him up inside. He also noticed how happy the 'rents were at having Blaine be with her: their perfect son with the perfect girl.

"Want a push?" He closes his eyes and breathes at the sound of Blaine's voice so close to his ear, nodding his head.

Feeling Blaine's hands at his lower back as he pushes him sends sparks all through his body. It makes him think how it would feel to have him touching him all over his body; and that thought alone is turning him on. Looking at Blaine when he swings around, their eyes locking and seeing how fucking happy he manages to look at being here with him. Sees how he looks so much more fucking happy than he did with Kennedy. Blaine looks at him like he's some fucking treasure that is more precious than anything in the world.

Swinging back around, feeling Blaine push him again, Kurt wonders how long he can go on playing tug-of-war with a person who won't doesn't realize what they are doing to him.

Planting his feet on the ground and skidding to a stop, he climbs out of the tire swing and turns to Blaine.

"She's great, Blaine," he says with a breaking heart and a forced smile. He says it just to be nice, not really knowing Kennedy well enough to decide if he likes her or not. He knows it could be easy to hate her just because Blaine is with her, but he doesn't, because that would be like hating a person because they like the same book he does. It's not just his to love.

So, he feels indifferent to her until he gets to know her a bit more.

"Yeah, she is great." He manages to take a few steps when he hears Blaine softly continue, "But...She's not you, Kurt."

Turning around when Blaine grabs his wrist, he finds him right there, their faces less than a few inches apart. "Please, don't say things like that, because it gives me more hope when I don't need it."

"Why do you think that?"

"Because…You'll always be that boy in the kitchen four years ago who walked away. You'll always walk away. I can't keep going through losing you again and again."

"That was four years ago, Kurt. Things, and people, can change."

Staring into Blaine's eyes and seeing him practically pleading with him to prove his point. Kurt knows he could close the space between them and capture Blaine's soft lips in a kiss; knows he could give in and lose himself in Blaine. But he doesn't. He refuses to do that. He can't, because he is afraid of it all crashing down on Blaine and having him realize maybe he didn't change; maybe he was right all along in walking away.

"I hope she makes you happy." Yanking his wrist away, he walks off angry at himself for loving Blaine and making it hard for him to completely let go of him.

The heartbreak he felt at having to let go of his parents at such a young age would compare nothing to having to let go of Blaine. That's one of the reasons he clings to the hope he has like a life raft.

Finding Tilly in the dining room clearing away plates, he goes up to her and holds her tight, finally letting everything out. He feels her hold him and soothe her arms over his back, whispering that everything will be fine in the end.

"He loves her, Till," Kurt says through his sobs with a shaky voice. "Nothing will be fine."

"Kurt, look at me!" Tilly grabs his face and makes him look at her. "One of these days it's going to click for that boy that he's in love with you, just as you are with him. No girl will stand in the way of how he truly feels for you."

"What makes you think he loves me?" Kurt asks around a hiccup.

"I'm fifty-eight years old, Kurt," Tilly says. "I've been around long enough to know when it's love that fills someone's eyes."

"Maybe you're just going blind," Kurt jokes as a way of lightening the mood a bit.

"Don't make fun, Kurt." Tilly smacks him on his shoulder, although she smiles at him. "It will all turn out for the good. Just you watch."

Kurt wonders if he shouldn't hold his breath on that one.


	4. Chapter 4

After that day by the tree, Kurt avoids Blaine at all costs. When he sees him in a room or notices him entering a room he is in, he turns around and walks away. He's avoided eating dinner with everybody and choosing to stay in the kitchen with Tilly.

At the moment he sits at the island eating dinner earlier than usual.

"This is the fifth day you've eaten in here with me," Tilly points out as she sets a bowl of soup down in front of him. "You gonna tell me why?"

"I'm avoiding Blaine."

"What happened now?"

"Nothing _really_ happened. He just..." Kurt trails off and lets go of his spoon, hearing it hit the side of the bowl with a ting.

"What?"

"He...The way he looks at me, Till," he sighs, picturing how Blaine looked at him by that tree; the intensity and want in his eyes. "Like I'm something he eagerly wants but can't have."

"Why would he think he couldn't have you?"

"I don't know." Kurt glances at Tilly and shrugs his shoulders. "God knows I would give him anything he wants from me if he asked for it."

"Why do you think he's holding back?" Tilly curiously asks.

"I wish I knew." Kurt drops his head in his hands and groans.

"Well, enough worry with that for today," Tilly says as she comfortingly rubs his back. "Now eat, because I haven't told you that you've lost too much weight since you last visited."

Kurt chuckles at that, lifting his head and going about eating the bowl of soup sitting in front of him.

After eating, Kurt runs upstairs and heads for his bathroom. Quickly stripping naked, he steps into the shower and under the hot water.

Closing his eyes and feeling the water pour down around him, he thinks about Blaine and how it would be to have him in here with him. He thinks about the slide of bodies together made easier by the water; thinks about the closeness of Blaine to him as he gives himself over in a way he has never before.

Opening his eyes and realizing he's hard, he rids his mind of those thoughts. Wrapping a hand around himself, all it takes is one stroke before he's spilling over his fist, biting his lip to stop from saying Blaine's name. Finishing off, he goes about cleaning himself.

Stepping back into his room, removing the towel from around his hips, he lifts it to dry off his hair. Standing there naked, the sun falling into the room and warming his skin, he thinks about Blaine telling him that what happened was four years ago and things change.

He wants to believe him, and on some level he does, but he needs Blaine to believe himself when he says the words. It's easy to say words, but he wants to see Blaine put some action behind them.

Turning around and instantly dropping his towel in shock, he flushes at finding Blaine standing stock still a few steps into his room and staring at him. Kurt knows he's been standing there for some time based on the bulge in his jeans. Getting a small thrill at knowing he was watching him, he decides to see if Blaine has changed from that boy in the kitchen four years ago. He probably shouldn't do it, but he needs to know; needs to know if Blaine is finally willing to cross that fucking stupid line he set.

"Blaine?" He tentatively starts taking a few steps to Blaine, noticing his eyes drift lower and shoot back up. Being careful not to say or blurt anything to make Blaine realize what he's doing.

"I...I'm sorry."

"Why?" Kurt steps right in front of him, placing his hands on Blaine's shoulders.

"I...I shouldn't be w-watching you." Blaine stumbles a bit over his words. Kurt noticing him get further flustered.

"I've seen you watch me before, Blaine," Kurt softly says. "I've noticed your eyes on me when you think I'm not paying attention. I know the thoughts you think of when your vision lingers longer than need be."

"I'm sorry," Blaine mumbles again.

"Don't be." Kurt runs one of his hands down Blaine's arm and grabs his hand. Lifting it and placing it at his lower back, feeling Blaine press in, he can feel himself getting hard. "I would think about how you looked at me when I touched myself. They way your eyes would roam over my body, as if you were imaging how I would look underneath you as you fucked me." Kurt looks at him with innocent eyes, enjoying this more than he should. "Just ask, Blaine. Ask and it's yours. Ask and I'll give you what we both so desperately want." Kurt stares him straight in his eyes, seeing them blown wide with lust and want and need. "Ask."

Blaine's lips on his are firm and strong and soft.

This kiss is so much different from their first kiss four years previous. Where that kiss was between two boys, this kiss is between two men who are giving and taking in abundance.

Kurt presses close to Blaine's body, feeling his other hand go between his shoulder blades and dig deep into flesh. He parts his lips and welcomes the thrust of Blaine's silky tongue into his mouth. Massaging their tongues together, sucking on it before Blaine pulls it away, he runs his hands under and up Blaine's shirt.

The feel of lean muscles beneath his hands has him moaning and wanting to explore Blaine's whole body with his hands and tongue and kiss every inch of tanned skin that has eluded him for so long.

Sliding his hand to Blaine's back and down, he grabs at his ass and pushes his hips forward, wanting him to feel just how much he wants him. But that seems to trigger something in Blaine because he is pulling away and putting space between them.

"I'm sorry. I shouldn't have done that."

"Why?"

"Because..." Blaine trails off.

Kurt just stands there shocked and pissed off, angry Blaine can't even give him a god damn plausible reason for saying no. "Guess you lied about things changing since four years ago!" he maliciously says. Quickly dressing and putting his boots on, he needs to get out of here before he starts another fight with Blaine.

"Where you going?" Blaine asks, Kurt noticing how upset he sounds.

"Where do you think?" he snidely says. He stands up and runs his fingers through his hair a few times. "It's pretty fucking obvious I'm not getting laid if I stay here. So, I'm going where I know someone will offer." Grabbing his jacket and shrugging it on, he looks to Blaine and sees how heartbroken he is. Once again, Kurt is confused by his actions and subsequent emotions of hurt. If he wants to avoid being heartbroken, Kurt doesn't understand why he just doesn't give in to what he wants. "Don't tell me you're upset again?" he asks with a small chuckle.

"Can you blame me? You're leaving to be with someone else!"

"I keep offering and you keep refusing. Don't be mad at me for getting it somewhere else." With that, Kurt turns around and walks away. "I'll be back tomorrow morning."

* * *

Still nursing his first vodka on the rocks, Kurt sits at the crowded bar in a mess of emotions.

He surely thought that after Blaine had kissed him that his night would be ending like he's wanted for years. But instead, Blaine had pulled away, apologizing and saying that shouldn't have happened, again.

Just one night is all he asks for. One night Blaine admits to himself about how he truly feels for him and they lose hours in each other. But once again, he was too scared and Kurt was left alone with a racing mind and heavy heart.

Taking a sip of his drink, tasting how watered down it now is, he pushes it away from himself.

"Can I buy you another?"

He looks over to where the voice came from.

The guy is hot by Kurt's standards. Tall with broad shoulders and messy, blonde hair, eyes the prettiest fucking green he's ever seen, and a body like a fucking model. His smile is charming and alluring, just enough to pull someone in and keep them entranced. Kurt can see himself going to this guy's house and fucking his brains out, but something stops him. Something makes him refuse the offer.

"No, thanks," he says as he throws some cash on top of the bar.

"Since drinks are off the table. How about I take you home and fuck you?" Handsome McGhee suggests.

"Sorry, I don't do that," Kurt replies, pulling on his jacket.

"What? Have meaningless sex."

"No," Kurt huffs, stuffing his hands in his pockets and shaking his head at the guy. God knows he's practically the king of meaningless sex. Almost all the time it's simply about getting off. He picks someone up and has a fun night. "No one fucks me. So, I'm not interested." With that, he walks away and to the door, deciding that tonight was not the night for him.

Closing his bedroom door behind him thirty minutes later, he starts to kick off his boots and strip down to his briefs. Falling in bed, and climbing under the covers, he is ready to pass out and put this day behind him.

* * *

He stands there and watches him walk away and wonders if he'll ever get used to having to witness that. He knows he's being stupid. Right then would have been perfect moment for him to say fuck it and pick Kurt up in his arms and walk the few feet to his bed. But once again he couldn't do it.

The combination of nerves and being scared had him holding back and taking a those steps back from Kurt. He's scared of his parents finding out the truth and treating him like they treated Kurt. Scared of the world he knows being turned upside down because he wants someone so badly it could change everything.

Sitting down on Kurt's bed, running his hands over the soft sheets, he thinks about everything holding him back from being with Kurt. He thinks about his parents, being with Kennedy, and being mostly happy with where he is. But then he thinks about how he knows being with Kurt would result in a happiness he has never felt before, how it would result in him no longer being upset and jealous and yearning for something he's wanted more than anything else in his life.

He knows he soon needs to make a choice to a question that keeps getting asked and he has yet to answer.

Going downstairs for dinner, Blaine plops down in his chair upset and not hungry.

Thanking Tilly when she sets his food down in front of him, he picks up a spoon and starts moving the food around on his bowl. Thinking about Kurt, he gets angry and jealous over the fact that he could be fucking some guy right now all because he's being an idiot.

"Blaine, sweetie," his mom says in a comforting voice. "What's wrong?"

_'Other than the fact that I'm jealous as fuck because Kurt is off fucking some stranger when it could be me? Then I'm peachy.'_ Of course he doesn't say it. He wishes he could; could tell them about who he really is. But, knowing how they are, he keeps quite about it all.

"I'm not feeling good," he lies in way of an explanation. "I'm just gonna go upstairs to my room and lie down for the night."

"Okay."

Giving his mom a kiss on the cheek and telling her and his dad goodnight, he heads upstairs. Reaching the top of the stairs, he looks down the hall to Kurt's room. Images of Kurt's beautiful, naked body from less than two hours before flood his mind.

He's seen naked people before and they were nice to behold. Hell, he's seen Kurt in nothing but his underwear and swimtrunks before. But something about Kurt's body now, the expanse of pale, smooth skin and muscles and how much he's grown into his body since he last saw him. He thinks about his long legs and how they would feel wrapped around his waist.

He remembers the look on Kurt's face as he caught him staring, how he first looked surprised and then was pleased to know that he was staring. As if that was more confirmation to Kurt that he wanted him and wants to do this. That shouldn't have been more confirmation. He should have been doing something about his feelings for Kurt for a long time now. If they had been together, him standing there and finding Kurt naked should have been a normal thing for him to see. But, no, he hasn't done anything and seeing Kurt naked for the first time had him speechless and eager to do so many things.

Going to his room, he sags against his door and thinks about how fucking stupid he's being.

Fuck, he wants Kurt. He's wanted him long before that night in the kitchen four years before.

He wants Kurt to do things he's fantasized about for years. Wants to let go of everything that he holds onto and fall into the unknown that he could have with Kurt. He's tired of denying himself what he wants just because he's scared of what others, mainly his parents, will say and do.

Pushing himself off the door, he walks to his bathroom and undresses. Stepping into the shower, the hot water feeling great as it hits his body, he goes through the routine of a shower. Drying off and pulling on his underwear, he goes back to his room and lies down.

Tossing and turning, too anxious to sleep, all he can think about is who the person is that Kurt went home with. Flashes of Kurt's naked body reenter his mind. How he would look above him as he moved inside him. How it feel to have his body weighing his down. How it would be to have Kurt beneath him as he explored his body with his hands and mouth.

Lying in bed, unable to rid his mind of thoughts of Kurt's naked body and what he could do to him, he feels his heart soar at the sound of heavy boots hitting against stairs. The sound has him not able to hold back a smile at knowing Kurt didn't go home with someone like he hinted he would before he left earlier. He hears him walk down the hall and go to his room, closing his door behind him.

Sitting up throwing his legs over the side of the bed, he drops his head in his hands and breathes. He thinks about everything Kurt and him have been through not doing anything about this deep connection between them.

He's tired of being jealous of the guys that get to have Kurt. Tired of wanting Kurt so badly and not doing anything about it. Tired of playing this fucking game that he purposely keeps losing for what he thought was for the best.

He's just fucking tired of it all.

Fuck, he wants to be the one in bed with Kurt and pleasing him. He wants to hear his name fall from Kurt's lips as they move together in ways he longed imagined. He wants and wants and wants but never taking what could so easily be his.

Finally saying fuck it, Blaine stands up and grabs his robe. Slipping it on and tying the belt, he feels the butterflies in his stomach and hands slightly shake as nerves overtake him. He's doing this. He's letting go of everything that's holding him back and diving in to what this is between Kurt and him.

"Don't be nervous." He tries to tell himself to calm his racing heart, but not feeling a difference. "Don't be nervous."

Taking one final deep breath, he ignores his nerves and opens his door.

* * *

It's twenty minutes later when he hears the soft click of his door closing and being locked. The padding of feet is heard as he sits up and sees the silhouette of a body he would recognize anywhere.

Blaine stops in front of his bed and unties his robe, letting it fall to a heap on the floor, and climbs into bed with him.

Kurt welcomes his warmth and the weight of him as he lies on top of him.

He isn't sure if he's dreaming, or why this could be happening. He isn't sure if some terrible joke is currently being played on him at the moment. But he quickly snaps out of that and back to a reality that has Blaine lying on top of him just like he's imagined so many times before. "...What?" he says after realizing Blaine said something.

"I'm tired of walking away from you. From not letting this happen as it should." He hears Blaine's voice falter with nerves and excitement. "I'm staying this time."

"Really?" Kurt asks, unable to believe this actually happening. He sees Blaine nod his head and turn his lips up into a small smile.

"You said all I had to do was ask, right?"

Kurt nods his head at the question in response. "Ask me and you can have it," he reminds him.

"Will you fuck me?" Blaine asks with a slightly shaky voice.

Like a flash, he's grabbing at the back of Blaine's neck and pulling him down into the kind of kiss that he's never experienced before.

* * *

**a/n: I'm planning to write more from Blaine's POV because it helps to understand him more. And I'm pretty sure you can guess what the next chapter is.**


	5. Chapter 5

**I want to thank everybody again for reading this story of mine.**

* * *

It's so much more than he thought, when he let himself imagine. He always assumed it would be great and just what he wanted.

But this...

This, what Blaine and he are doing, is so much beyond what he ever imagined. And all they've done so far is kiss and move their hips together.

Stopping and sitting up, Kurt kneels over Blaine and gets a good look at what's been out of reach for years and is finally his. He feels like someone who just struck a goldmine and isn't sure what to do with the benefits of the find.

Pushing his boxer-briefs down and off his legs, he watches as Blaine lifts his hips and does the same with his boxers. Seeing him completely naked for the first time, the expanse of tanned skin at his fingertips is enough to have Kurt never wanting to leave this bed and spend forever in this moment with Blaine. But when his eyes travel down and see Blaine's flushed, hard cock with pre-come already at the tip, he knows what he wants.

"Please tell me you are going to do something besides stare at me all night?" Blaine asks with a small laugh, Kurt seeing his eyes filled with a need he's experiencing himself.

Leaning down and kissing him hard, Kurt nips at his lower lip before pulling away. "I'm going to suck your cock now." Without waiting for any kind of reply, he starts to kiss his way down Blaine's chest.

Making his way down Blaine's body, savoring every inch of skin he gets to kiss, he nuzzles his nose in the crease of Blaine's thigh, breathing in the strong smell of him there.

Not wanting to wait a second longer, he licks a stripe up the underside of Blaine's cock and wraps his lips around the head. Sucking, and gathering the pre-come at the tip, he looks up at Blaine through his eyelashes, seeing him biting his lower lip. Taking him all the way into his mouth, earns him a loud moan from Blaine. Not wanting to be caught, he lifts his hand and pushes his middle fingers into Blaine's mouth, moaning around Blaine's cock when he starts to suck on his fingers.

Looking up and seeing that, Kurt thinks it's quite possibly the sexiest thing he's ever seen.

Fingers bury in his hair and tug as he sucks hard, tongue pressing on the vein on the underside, wanting to make this great for Blaine. Hearing the little muffled whines and moans Blaine releases around his fingers, he starts to move faster, trying to get him to come. All it takes is him lifting his mouth so only the head of Blaine's cock is in his mouth and sucking to have him coming down his throat. He swallows everything Blaine has to give, thinking about how he finally knows how he tastes on his tongue.

He pulls off with a pop. Licking his lips and smiling, he moves up and kisses Blaine, letting him taste himself on his tongue. The moan he releases as he sucks on his tongue that if Kurt wasn't already turned on would have him turned on in a second.

"Blaine," he says with a wavering voice when he pulls away. "Can I ask you something?" He sighs as Blaine kisses at his neck, nipping and biting at the skin.

"Ask," Blaine responds.

"Are you a virgin?" The second he asks, he feels Blaine still beneath him. That's answer enough for him, although he had his suspicions.

"In every sense of the fucking word." Blaine drops his head back on the pillow and covers his face with his hands. "Is that a bad thing?" he shyly asks as he looks at Kurt through his fingers.

"No." Kurt smiles as he pulls Blaine's hand away. "It's fine."

"Are you sure?"

"Yes. It's completely fine. Now," he says as he lifts an eyebrow. "Are you ready to do this?"

Blaine smiles and nods his head.

Kurt watches as Blaine turns onto his stomach. Reaching in his drawer for the bottle he keeps there, he squeezes some lube onto his fingers.

"You sure?"

"Yes," Blaine sighs, lifting his hips.

After that, he slowly stretches him, marveling at how his fingers feel inside of Blaine.

Unlike with the other men, he takes his time, savors the how Blaine feels around his fingers. He savors how he gently rocks his hips down trying to get more friction; savors the little moans he lets fall from his lips.

When he's working three fingers inside him and crooks them perfectly, he smiles at the loud moan that produces from Blaine.

"Please!" Kurt hears him quietly beg. "I want you inside me!"

Taking a few more moments to make sure Blaine is fully prepped and ready he removes his fingers and hears Blaine groan at the loss. Grabbing a condom from his nightstand and ripping it open, Kurt rolls it on and strokes himself to spread the remaining lube on his hand.

"Ready?"

Blaine nods his head yes.

Reaching under Blaine, he lifts his hips and positions himself.

Pushing slowly into the delicious heat and tightness of Blaine's body, he hears him release a low moan when his hips hit his ass.

"Fuck!" Kurt quietly curses, stilling his hips for a few moments so he doesn't come right then and there. He's fucked plenty of guys before this; guys that felt great. But something about Blaine is beyond anything he's ever felt when he was with any those of guys. Blaine is everything he imagined and more; he is exactly what he's waited four years to experience. "Are you okay?" he sincerely asks, genuinely worried for the first time about the person he's with.

"Yeah...Yes." Blaine breathes and minutely nods his head. "You feel so good."

"I can say the same." He sees the smile tug the corner of Blaine's mouth when he says that.

After a few moments of breathing, Kurt slowly starts to move his hips. They're gentle rolls that have Blaine moving to his hands and dropping his head. That's what he does for a few moments; taking in how fucking perfect Blaine feels around him. He also doesn't want to be too rough with him on his first time.

"Kurt...Harder!" Blaine groans.

"I don't want to hurt you."

"I don't care." Blaine looks at him over his shoulder with a deep hunger in his eyes. "I want you to fuck me like we both want."

That ignites something in Kurt that changes the pace instantly.

Pulling his hips back and snapping them forward, Kurt covers Blaine's back, reaching under him and gripping his shoulder as he fucks him. Turning Blaine's head and roughly kissing him when he gets to be a little too loud, Kurt can't believe he's actually here after years of dreaming this would happen.

To have Blaine finally under him and letting him do what no other person has. That makes this moment a bit more special to him; knowing he gets to have Blaine before anyone else; gets to be his first. It makes him fall more in love with him to know Blaine trust him this much.

Pushing himself up, he kneels behind Blaine and grips his hips as Blaine keeps one hand planted on the headboard as he fucks him like they both want.

Sweat glistens and gleams and rolls down Blaine's back as he continues to pound into him. He follows a trickle of sweat that rolls down Blaine's spine as he pushes between his shoulder blades and forces him down.

Seeing him bury his head in the pillow, and tilt his ass higher, Kurt ruthlessly fucks into him at the new angle. He hears Blaine's muffled screams and moans he lets out into the pillow, watching his hands vigorously squeeze the sides of the pillow, knuckles turning white.

He fucks him with hard, deep thrusts of his hips. Hard enough for his hipbones to leave red marks all over Blaine's ass. Kurt likes that sight; likes knowing that tomorrow Blaine will still have markings of what's happening right now.

Stuttering his hips, Kurt buries himself deep one last time in Blaine's ass and comes for the first time.

Working his hips through his release, he groans when he feels Blaine clenching around his cock, making it pretty obvious that he just came for a second time.

Doing something he's never done before with anyone, Kurt pulls out and removes the condom, throwing it away. But reaching down and wrapping his fingers around his cock, he starts to stroke himself, not ready to let this opportunity to fuck Blaine as many times as he can this night pass him by. It's too much too soon, but Kurt doesn't care as he looks at Blaine when he turns on his back and watches him.

Staring at eyes that are filled with happiness and blissed out, he feels how quickly his body is responding.

"You gonna fuck me again?" Blaine asks as he spreads his legs open wider. "Because I'm really hoping that is the case here."

That sight alone of having Blaine so open and ready for him, waiting for him to fuck him again has Kurt reaching for another condom and tearing it open. How is he to deny what Blaine wants? Rolling on the condom and slicking himself up, Kurt lines himself up and pushes back in to the delicious heat that is fucking better than anything he's ever felt.

Snapping his hips forward and setting up a rhythm that is great, he grabs under Blaine's ass and lifts it up, moving his hands to the back of his thighs. He spreads him open and watches as Blaine easily takes him again and again.

Angling his hips and thrusting forward, smiling when Blaine lets out a loud scream of pleasure only to realize what he did and bite down on his bottom lip. Continuing to fuck him at that perfect angle, he watches Blaine's hard cock bounce against his belly with every hard thrust of his hips. Watches him tip his head back and claw at the sheets beneath him.

Usually, when it comes to sex, Kurt tunes out everything the other guy is doing and focuses on getting off. Not wanting the sounds they make and how they look to distract and annoy him.

But Blaine.

Blaine...Every little thing he is doing is turning Kurt on even further. The way he lets little whimpers and moans fall from his lips, how he arches his back on particularly good thrusts, how he pushes his ass down to try and get more. All of it is tantalizing to Kurt.

It's then, he realizes, he could spend hours bringing pleasure to Blaine. Make him fall apart with his fingers and mouth. Watch him writhe and tremble with pleasure that he caused and forget all about himself. He could spend hours making it all about Blaine and what he would want, making him come over and over again, wearing him out.

"I...I'm cl-close, Kurt," Blaine mumbles.

Hearing that, Kurt lifts Blaine's legs up onto his shoulders and leans down over him. Pounding his hips into him, Kurt covers Blaine's mouth with his hand when he suddenly comes and screams. He feels him clenching around his cock, and with half a dozen hard thrusts later, Kurt comes again.

Kneeling back up, and dropping Blaine's legs, Kurt slowly pulls out and removes the condom. Tying it up and throwing it in the trash, he grabs a few tissues from the box by the bed and cleans Blaine and himself, throwing those away, too, when finished.

Collapsing on the bed completely spent and satisfied for the moment, Kurt smiles and lets out a small laugh. Looking to Blaine, he finds him staring at him with a smile. Leaning forward, Kurt cups the side of his face and softly kisses him in a way he's never kissed anybody before.

It's a brush of lips together that makes him shudder and his heart skip a beat. The gentle press and movement of lips that fit together unlike with anybody else. The kiss is more tender and filled with love than any he's ever experienced. Smiling against Blaine's lips, he looks into his eyes and captures his lips, once again, in a tender, sweet kiss.

But before he can deepen the kiss, Blaine is pulling away. "I'm sorry; I can't do that."

"Wait!" Kurt says as he watches him climb out of bed and grab his robe and slip it on. "What just happened?"

"Nothing...I just can't...I have to go." Blaine ties his robe and quietly walks out of his room.

Wondering what the fuck just happened, Kurt pulls the covers up higher around himself and lies there, hoping Blaine isn't regretting this.


	6. Chapter 6

Sitting down in the chair in the dining room the following morning, moving sideways so his back is to one armrest and he throws his legs over the other. He tries not to look over to Blaine, who he sees continues to shift to find a comfortable position. That's what getting fucked in the ass for the first time will do to ya, he mentally says.

Thinking about it. Going back to a mere few hours before, Kurt thinks about bodies moving together and Blaine writhing and begging beneath him. He thinks about flushed, heated skin and the noises that fell from Blaine's lips.

God, he thinks, he really loved fucking Blaine, and wishes it would happen again. But thinking about it, he comes to the conclusion it was a one-time thing; a "let's have this just this once" from Blaine. It probably will never happen again, but he holds out hope that maybe there could be a possibility. The only thing really holding him back from fully hoping of it happening again is Blaine suddenly leaving after he kissed him. Not fully understanding why he did it, he overlooks that small detail and still bathes in the afterglow of sleeping with Blaine.

"Seems it didn't take long for you to break your promise," Sarah snidely says, stabbing a piece of tomato with her fork.

For a split second Kurt is confused by the comment then he remembers what he told them that first day he came back. "He wasn't a stranger. So, technically, I didn't break my promise," he says as he rolls his eyes. Smiling at Tilly setting a bowl of Reese's Puffs cereal down in front of him, he thanks her and properly sits, grabbing the pitcher of milk. He notices that all the color has drained from Blaine's face as he keeps his eyes on the plate in front of him.

"I don't care," John barks at him. "None of that here while you're under my roof."

"I thought you guys would be happy for me." He pours milk into his bowl, getting a spoonful as he grins.

"Why would we be happy?" Sarah asks.

"Well, mommy dearest-"

"Don't call me that!"

"Whatever." Kurt rolls his eyes at the comment. "You should be happy for me, because last night I had the greatest fuck of my life. I think that warrants an applause or something." Kurt snickers at the looks that garners him from Sarah and John. He also doesn't let the small turn up of the side of Blaine's lips in a smile go unnoticed by him.

After breakfast, and properly telling Tilly good morning, Kurt decides to go out for a few hours.

"Where you going?"

He looks behind him to see Blaine leaning against the door jam with his arms crossed over his chest. "Out for a bit." Buttoning his jeans, he smells his shirt and takes it off. Walking to a drawer, he pulls out a shirt with name of one of his favorite bands written across the front. Looking out the corner of his eye, he sees Blaine's eyes roaming over his torso, also noticing him pull his lower lip between his teeth for a second. Kurt smiles at that as he pulls on the clean shirt.

"Was what you said at breakfast true?" Blaine quietly asks.

"Was what true?" Kurt knows what he is talking about, but he just wants to hear him say it for himself. He watches Blaine close the distance between them so he is less than a few inches from him.

"About me being the greatest fuck of your life?"

"Why would I lie when you're involved?" Kurt truthfully asks.

"To make me feel better."

"Well, it was the truth." Kurt sits on the edge of his bed and goes about putting on his boots. He looks at Blaine as he continues to stand there and stare at him, as if debating something. "Is there something else? If not, I'm about to leave."

"Let's get out of here for a few hours," Blaine suggests.

Kurt arches an eyebrow at that, knowing what Blaine is asking for. He wants to jump up and down at what this means. Seems he was wrong in thinking Blaine only wanted one night. "Are you asking what I think you're asking?"

"Yes." Blaine grins and nods his head.

"I assumed after you left last night you wouldn't want me anymore."

"Kurt," Blaine says with a small chuckle. "You can't put a bag of candy in front of a kid and tell them to only eat one. Now that I've had you once, I want more; because, God knows, I want the whole bag."

"You made me think you made a mistake last night," Kurt admits, feeling a blush on his cheeks as Blaine continues to stare at him.

"Not a mistake," Blaine tells him, shuffling his feet; Kurt seeing him think over something. "Just a moment of fear."

"Fear about what?"

"Nothing important. So, you want to get out of here with me?" Kurt sees the blush on Blaine's cheeks as he basically asks him to go away to have sex.

"Yes." Kurt stands up and grabs his jacket. "Just so you know that was the best reference to sex I've ever heard." Giving Blaine a quick kiss and grinning, he practically flies down the stairs with Blaine following behind him.

* * *

He groans as he grips Blaine's hips as he rides him.

They sit in the back of his car in a secluded, wooded area an hour away from the Anderson house. The second they parked and turned off the car, they were both reaching for the other and furiously kissing. Climbing into the back seat and quickly undressing, it didn't take long for Kurt to find himself where he is now.

He snaps his hips up into Blaine, watching him arch his back and tip his head back. Focusing on the lines of Blaine's body, the curves of his waist, the defined muscles that are pulled taut, Kurt burns the image into his memory for a later time.

Letting out loud moans as Blaine continuously slams his hips down, Kurt grabs behind his head and brings him down into a heated kiss. It's all teeth and tongue and sloppy, but fucking perfect. Thrusting his tongue past Blaine's kiss-swollen lips, Kurt matches the thrust of his tongue with the thrust of his hips up into Blaine.

Splaying his hands on Blaine's back, he digs his fingers into his skin, wanting to press hard enough to leave marks.

Seeing Blaine sit back up and grab at the back of the seat, Kurt groans as he uses the leverage to slam his hips down harder than before.

Reaching between their bodies and taking Blaine in hand and starting to stroke him, he sees Blaine come a few moments later with a scream and his name on his lips. The feeling of Blaine clenching around him and continuing to move his hips down, Kurt follows with his own release a few thrusts later.

"That was amazing," Blaine breathlessly says minutes later, voice ragged and a slightly strained; he moves off Kurt to lie on the seat.

"Mmhmm." Pulling the condom off and rolling a window down, Kurt tosses it out, glad no one is around to see. He drops his head back and catches his breath, just taking in everything at the moment. He takes in the fast paced beat of his heart slowly calming down, the sound of Blaine's breathing evening out, the sound of birds outside, and the brush of Blaine's leg still lying across his lap.

"Kurt," Blaine whispers, breaking the quiet in the car.

"Yeah?" He turns his head and finally gets a good look at Blaine. The flush on his cheeks, the curls that have come undone from the gel, the come drying on his stomach, and the thin sheen of sweat that glistens on his skin, it's all a sight that has him quickly getting turned on again right after just fucking Blaine short of oblivion.

"Are we gonna do this?"

"Do what?" Kurt asks out of curiosity and confusion.

"Sneak around to be together," Blaine softly replies.

"If it's the only way, then...yeah, I'll gladly do it." The words sneak around causing a small pang in his heart. Not being able to say to the world that this amazing person beside him is who he is in love with and they are together. But, as it is, he'll take what he is being offered; because a something is better than nothing.

"Good," Blaine says with a small smile. "Because this is pretty easily the most thrilling thing I've ever done in my life."

"Is that so?" Kurt cheekily asks.

"Yes."

"You won't regret it, will you? I don't want you to hate me for bringing you into something you'll regret doing later." Kurt looks at him with a hint of fear in his eyes. He's scared of something bad going wrong and having Blaine walking away for good just because they decided to this. He doesn't want to lose his best friend if anything happens.

"No," Blaine lowly replies, smiling at him. "I won't regret it."

Carefully moving to lie down between Blaine's legs, Kurt hungrily kisses him as he grinds his hips down on him. Moaning when Blaine grabs at his ass and drops his leg off the seat, spreading his legs further open, Kurt works his hips down as Blaine lifts his up. They do that until both of them are panting and hard again.

"K-Kurt...Please," Blaine begs, digging his fingers into his flesh.

Kurt places his hands on either side of Blaine's head, lifting up and looking into his lust blown eyes as he continues to roll his hips down. "What do you want?"

"Fuck me. Please, fuck me," Blaine desperately replies.

Smiling, he leans over to his glove compartment and grabs a condom. Tearing it open and rolling it on himself, quickly spreading lube on his cock, he lines himself up at Blaine's entrance and pushes in.

Planting his foot on the floor, Kurt starts to fuck Blaine without abandon.

* * *

Two hours and a few orgasms later, Kurt whistles as he spins his key ring on his finger and heads for the front door. Next to him, Blaine is still fussing over his appearance, making sure everything is in place.

"Don't worry, Blaine," Kurt says a few steps from the door. "It's nearly impossible for anyone to guess I just fucked you in the back of my car." Kurt grins at the playful glare and shove that earns him from Blaine.

"You suck," Blaine teases, smiling at him.

"You know it from last night." Kurt sees the blush stain Blaine's cheeks at his comment. "Come back to my room tonight and I'll show you just how much I suck."

"Alright," Blaine responds, making Kurt chuckle and already looking forward to the end of the day.

Walking into the house, Kurt rolls his eyes at finding a worried Sarah rushing to Blaine's side.

"Where have you been, Blaine?" she asks.

"Kurt and I went out for awhile," Blaine tells her.

Kurt sees her eyes quickly shift to him before looking back to Blaine. Walking past her and Blaine, he heads to the kitchen to get something to eat. Finding Tilly preparing lunch, he sits at the island and grabs an apple. "Hey, Till," he happily says as he takes a bite out of his apple.

"Have fun last night, Kurt?" The look she gives him makes it pretty fucking obvious what she is referring to.

Kurt just smiles at her. He isn't surprised she knows; that she easily figured out who it was in his room the night before. It feels a bit relieving to be able to talk to someone about it to.

"What do you think?"

"I think you're smart for not giving up," she tells him, giving him an easy smile. "Can I ask how it was? Well, I can figure out how it was based on what I heard the Anderson's said, but I want to know how it was for you."

Kurt waits for her to stop and sit down next to him to give him her full attention.

"So, tell me."

Kurt thinks for a minute; trying to find the best way to describe what it felt like being with Blaine. "You know that feeling you get as you ride a rollercoaster: the rush you feel as you ride it and the adrenaline coursing through your veins and the high you still feel when you step off? That's what it felt like being with him."

"That great, huh?" Tilly teasingly asks.

"The best." Kurt arches an eyebrow and grins. "He's definitely a rollercoaster I want to ride over and over again."

"Based on you two being gone together for some time, I can assume that's what you were doing."

"Till!" Kurt says shocked, seeing her laughing and going back to cooking.

* * *

Lying in bed, Kurt sits up when he hears his door softly click close. Seeing Blaine push his boxers down and off, kicking them away, and begin to walk to him, he lifts his blanket and welcomes Blaine's warmth as he climbs into bed with him.

"So?" he asks with a grin.

"You still gonna show me how much you suck?"

"Breaking daddy's rules, I see."

"Fuck my dad!" Blaine quietly exclaims.

"Nah," Kurt replies, scrunching his nose and shaking his head. "He's not my type." He loves when that has Blaine laughing out loud at that. Quickly, catching Blaine by surprise, he has him on is back and is gazing down at him. "How about I show you how much you're my type?" he quietly whispers into Blaine's ear, nuzzling his nose along his cheek and down his neck.

"I'm down for that," Blaine replies with a quiet moan.

"I guess if you're down, then I should go down." Kurt grins, hearing Blaine's muffled laugh as he makes his way down his body, intending to make Blaine's lower lip bleed as he bites hard to hold in his screams.


	7. Chapter 7

Thrusting hard, Kurt feels Blaine spill over his fist as he bites down on his neck to keep from screaming. The pain that comes with that has Kurt thrusting hard one more time and experiencing his own release.

Pulling out and collapsing next to Blaine, catching his breath and taking the condom off, Kurt quietly laughs as he runs his fingers over the sore spot on his neck.

"You bit me," he says as he looks at Blaine.

"Did I?!" Blaine covers his face with his hands in embarrassment. "I'm sorry. I didn't mean to."

"It's okay." Kurt giggles at how cute Blaine looks as he covers his face. "It's just gonna be weird the looks people will give me. I can cover it up."

"No!" Blaine immediately yells. "I mean...Um, I don't...I...Fuck!"

"What are you trying to say, Blaine?" Kurt moves and lies on top of him, grinning at how flustered he is. "Do you like that you marked me?"

Blaine bites his lower lip and nods his head. "I want to see it and know that I put it there. I want to see you proudly show it off and only know how it got there."

"I would never have taken you to have a marking kink." Kurt arches an eyebrow at Blaine. "What are some others?"

"Why do you want to know?" Blaine curiously asks, smiling at Kurt as he skims his fingers up and down his back.

"I'm willing to do anything for you, Blaine. Just remember that." Kurt lets out a small scream when Blaine suddenly has him on his back and is pinning him down. "Is this another one? Do you enjoy having control over me?"

"No. Not for me."

It might not be for Blaine, but Kurt finds he enjoys being held down and having all control taken from him. If he's not in control, he won't enjoy it as much as he normally does. It's one of the many reasons he never bottoms; that and one big reason he has yet to tell Blaine. Losing that control he loves is something he never thought to do. But now, with Blaine, he thinks about letting him be the first person he's been with to do things like hold him down and telling him what to do. Blaine might not like it, but he wonders what it would take to convince him to do it for him.

Kurt moans when Blaine starts to rock his hips down, not believing he wants to go again. "Blaine, if you make me come one more time tonight, I think I might actually die of too much sex."

It's been a week since Blaine came to his room and finally crossed that line he had set down. This night is the first time since that second night Blaine came back that they've been together. So, yeah, he can understand Blaine's desperation and hunger. He felt the same.

After that second night, they thought it would be safer to not do anything for a few days. Try not to piss off the 'rents again. He's not really sure who the fuck suggested they wait a week or how it came to be that amount of time passed, but it did. Every long day that seemed to drag on was followed by a night that seemed longer. That is until Blaine finally had enough and told him to come to his room.

All he knows is that by the time he was closing Blaine's bedroom door a few hours ago, he was being pressed up against it and enjoying the friction of his and Blaine's body furiously rocking together until they both came in less than two minutes. It didn't take long after that to turn them around and yank Blaine and his underwear down.

After he lifted him up and fucked him against the door, they collapsed to the floor in a heap of tangled limbs and heaving chests. That was followed thirty minutes later by Blaine riding him as he got a bit of a carpet burn on his back. He couldn't have cared less as long as Blaine kept moving his hips the way he did.

Kurt playfully demanded they go to the bed before the next round, not wanting his body to completely hate him in the morning, which is how he now finds himself in the spot he's in.

"I haven't had enough of you tonight." Kurt actually groans as Blaine has the gall to pout at him in a way that is making it difficult to refuse him.

He finds it funny that he couldn't have Blaine; and now he has to say enough for one night.

"I think my dick feels otherwise."

"Mmm, I think you're wrong." Blaine grins as Kurt finds his body responding again to Blaine's gentle roll of his hips down on him.

"Besides," Kurt murmurs, running his hand down Blaine's back and grabbing his ass, squeezing the flesh in his hand. "I think you're going to want to sit down comfortably during the day."

"I like the feeling," Blaine whispers, nuzzling his nose in the side of Kurt's neck. "I like knowing you were there."

"I swear you're going to be the death of me." Kurt rolls them over so he ends up on top of Blaine.

"So, does that mean you're going to fuck me again?" Blaine grins as he parts his legs and starts to lift his hips, rocking against Kurt.

"No!" Kurt quietly exclaims with a hint of laughter to his voice, quickly scrambling to move off Blaine so nothing more can happen. It takes all of his willpower to ignore the look of want Blaine gives him. "I want to be able to function properly tomorrow." Leaning down to give him a kiss, cupping the side of Blaine's face, he pulls away before the kiss can be deepened. "I'll go now."

"I wish you could stay," Blaine murmurs.

"It's safer this way." One of the things they agreed on was that even though they would do this, there were a few things they had to do. They would have these nights to themselves to be together, but once finished, to avoid being caught, they thought it would be safer if they go back to their rooms. To fall asleep together could result in them being caught by one of Blaine's parents, and both of them really didn't want that to happen. They wanted their due time together—however long that may be. So, that's why Kurt stands up, cleaning himself with a tissue, and pulls on his underwear. "Bye," he whispers against Blaine's lips when he leans down to give him one final kiss goodnight.

"Bye."

Walking out of Blaine's room, quietly shutting his bedroom door, Kurt stands there in the hall with a huge smile on his face and the pleasure of his night with Blaine still slightly lingering under his skin.

Standing there, he hears his stomach grumble for food. Needing something to eat after all the energy spent being with Blaine, he quietly takes the stairs down to the kitchen. Walking into the empty kitchen, room filled by the light of the moon shining through the windows, he opens the fridge to find something to eat. Staring at the contents in the fridge, he grabs the container of ice cream and a spoon. Walking to the sun nook, he sits on the bench and brings his legs up and starts to dig into the creamy, sweet goodness.

He lets his mind linger on Blaine upstairs in his room. The image of Blaine's naked body tangled in his bed sheet and the look of satisfaction on his face has Kurt feeling giddy with the knowledge that he did that. Knowing he was the one to do that to Blaine; to provide him immense pleasure in ways he never experienced before, has Kurt turning the corner of his mouth up into a small grin.

A few spoonfuls of ice cream later, he hears someone shuffling into the kitchen, smiling when he sees a still blissed out Blaine walk in. Chuckling when he startles at seeing him, Kurt digs his spoon back into his ice cream.

"You fucking scared me," Blaine says as he holds a hand to his chest in freight.

"Sorry," he apologizes. "I was hungry and came to get something." He holds up the container of ice cream for Blaine to see, watching him grab his own spoon and come sit down with him. "Who says I'm sharing my ice cream with you?" Kurt playfully asks, moving the container out of reach of Blaine when he tries to dip his spoon inside.

"Please, Kurt," Blaine begs, using the same tone he does when they're having sex because he knows it will affect Kurt. He's right.

"You did that on purpose." Kurt sets the container down between them, seeing Blaine grin at him as he digs his spoon into the ice cream.

"Of course I did. You know Tilly would kill us for eating this at this hour," Blaine says as he gets a big spoonful of ice cream.

"Knowing her, she'd probably join in and ask about us." Kurt notices Blaine go completely still at his words, spoon in the container of ice cream.

"Does she know about us?" Kurt can hear the worry and slight fear in Blaine's voice as he speaks.

It sucks to be with Blaine, but not to _be_ with him. He wants Blaine in every way possible, but knows he has to settle with what he is giving him.

"She heard your parents complain after that first night and easily put two and two together," Kurt softly tells him. "I think she was so happy she would have thrown a party."

"She won't tell anyone?"

"No," he says as he shakes his head. "She won't tell anyone." Kurt feels a fresh wave of sadness wash over him as he considers that he'll never get to tell anyone, as well, about being with the person he loves.

"You look hot in nothing but your underwear right now." Blaine smirks at him as he eats the last of the ice cream. Kurt watches as he puts the empty container on the floor, dropping his spoon inside.

He holds back his squeal as Blaine grabs his ankle and drags him down onto the cushions.

"I don't think I've ever seen someone as sexy as you are," Blaine purrs into his ear, making him moan. "Do you even know how much I want you? I watch you and the need and urge to have you always takes over. I was so stupid to wait so long for you."

"Yes, you were," Kurt says with a small chuckle that immediately dies on his lips when he parts his thighs and lets Blaine settle on top of him. The words from a few moments earlier of not having sex again totally forgotten on Kurt's part as Blaine lies on top of him and gently starts to move his hips. It doesn't take long for his body to respond to the movement of Blaine on top of him.

They begin a slow rhythm of rocking together, oblivious to the fact that one of Blaine's parents could walk in. Kurt digs his teeth into his lower lip and tips his head back, feeling pleasure begin to course through his body.

"I love being with you like this, Kurt," Blaine whispers against his skin as he kisses his neck. "You drive me crazy in the best way possible."

Kurt blushes at the compliment; glad the only light is that of the moon and Blaine can't see his cheeks turn red. He's never one to not receive compliments of any kind. Guys would tell him all the time in bars and clubs anything to take him home. They were nice to hear, but they were just words to him. But these aren't just words to him as Blaine tells him that. These are knowing that when Blaine looks at him, he finds him sexy. Of course he knew Blaine found him attractive, he did catch him staring on more than a few occasions. It feels wonderful to be found attractive and sexy and wanted by the one person it matters from. To be wanted by Blaine is to feel alive.

Staring up at him as they continue to gently rock together, Kurt strokes his thumb over Blaine's cheek, lips turning up into a smile when he turns into his hand, even kissing his palm. "You drive me crazy, too. In all ways possible."

Suddenly, Blaine is kissing him in a demanding and unapologetic way, and Kurt loves it. He loves having Blaine taking what he wants and not being sorry for it, although Kurt freely gives it to him. It's a new sensation for him, and something he's never let anyone else do.

Lifting his right leg to hook over Blaine's waist, Kurt arches his back as he can feel the heat start to coil in his belly. Turning his head to the side as a spark of pleasure shoots up his spine at particularly good roll of Blaine's hips, he sees the floor about a foot beneath him and remembers where they are.

The window bench is barely big enough to hold two people sitting down and one person if they were to lie down. But right now, Kurt is wondering how it is they haven't fallen to the floor in a mess of tangled limbs. The bench itself isn't very wide, which is why Kurt hooked his leg around Blaine, because it was already hanging off the side. Even with Blaine on top of him to make it easier, he knows this can end badly. But with Blaine continuing to move his hips, he just doesn't give a fuck at the moment.

Moving together, the heat building and building, pleasure coursing through him, Kurt can feel how close he is; but he needs more. Reaching down, he slips his hands in Blaine's pajama bottoms and pushes them down, not surprised to find out he has no underwear on. "I need to feel you," he says in way of explanation to Blaine. Pushing his underwear down to his ankles when Blaine lifts his hips, he pulls him back down on top of him, moaning at the immediate contact of so much skin.

The slide of their bodies is much easier without the fabric of clothes in the way and the dampness on their skin from sweat at exerting themselves. Lifting both his legs to hook over Blaine's hips, Kurt wraps his arms around Blaine's back and grabs at his shoulders; he arches his back into the slow roll of Blaine's hips down on him. The heel of his feet are crossed at the ankles at Blaine's lower back as they push down, trying to get more of the feeling of Blaine against him.

When it comes to sex for Kurt, it was never more than full on sex or a simple blowjob with the men he was with before. Never more, never less. But now, with Blaine, he wants to experience ever kind of sexual act he can with him. He wants this right now; them moving together as they lay on a bench in the quiet of the night in an empty kitchen; he wants the little things along with the big ones. He wants simply being held in Blaine's arms, and for the first time, he thinks about the possibility of bottoming for Blaine.

"You feel amazing, Kurt," Blaine says against his lips.

"You…you too." Kurt moans and tips his head back, feeling Blaine pick up his pace and feeling himself getting closer to his release.

It doesn't take long after that for Kurt to arch his back and come, warm splashes hitting his belly, but not a lot considering everything Blaine and he had already done that night. Collapsing against the cushions in a state of pleasure and tiredness, he still moves his hips, legs hooked over Blaine's waist, as Blaine seeks out his own release.

"Come on, Blaine; come for me," Kurt pants into his ear. That must do the trick because seconds later he feels as Blaine stutters his hips and comes.

Curling an arm around his back when he collapses on top of him in a tangle of limbs, Kurt holds him as they both catch their breath.

"Surprised we didn't fall off," he finally says after his heart and pulse stop beating so fast. He drops his legs from around Blaine, stretching them out, one of them hanging off the side of the bench, foot touching the cold floor.

"Still would have finished if we did," Blaine replies; Kurt letting out a quiet laugh.

"I actually wouldn't have been surprised by that." Kurt turns his head to look at Blaine, seeing him smiling and eyes filled with happiness. "You have an insatiable sex drive."

"I think part of that has to do with you, and making up for lost time." Blaine stands up off him, Kurt missing his warmth, and goes to grab a wet napkin.

"I'm more than willing to make up for lost time however often you want," Kurt tells him as he pushes himself up on his elbows. He stares at Blaine as he cleans himself and puts his pajama pants back on. Taking the napkin he gives him when he sits down, he goes about cleaning his stomach. "I just have to say," he says as he lies back down and pulls his underwear on, lifting his hips. "That we can't have nights like tonight every night or I might never function again."

"I know." Blaine chuckles, taking the napkin and tossing it in the trash bin. "But we can have them every once in a while, right?"

"Of course," Kurt responds, swinging his legs over the side of the bench. "I think we should head upstairs."

"Yeah, you're probably right."

"When it comes to you and me, I'm always right."

"Don't let it go to your head," Blaine teases, taking his hand and linking their fingers together when he stands up.

"I won't." Kurt softly chuckles, resting his head on back on Blaine's shoulder when he steps in front of him. Arms encircle his waist and he lets out a happy sigh, savoring being held by Blaine as they carefully walk up the steps, making sure not to make too much noise. "I had a great time tonight, Blaine; thank you," Kurt tells him when they reach the top of the stairs, tilting his head to the side to look up at Blaine.

"I can't tempt you with just one more round?" Blaine quietly asks against his lips as he kisses him.

"No," Kurt answers with a small laugh as he pulls away. "I'm going to go pass out in my bed. You've worn me out."

"Fine," Blaine huffs in playfully annoyed manner.

He gives Blaine one last kiss before he starts to walk away. A hand grabbing his wrist and spinning him around surprises him, and he finds himself pressed close to Blaine once again. Their mouths mere inches apart; Kurt focusing his attention at Blaine's plump, red lips.

"I've been meaning to tell you," Blaine says, nuzzling his nose against his cheek. "I really, really love your tattoo."

Kurt bites his lip to quiet his giggle at Blaine's words, thinking about the tattoo on his right shoulder blade. If Blaine were to ask the meaning behind it, he would tell him, but not the full extent of how much one certain part means to him. "Thank you." Moaning into Blaine's mouth when he captures his lips in a fierce kiss, Kurt lets it go on for a few seconds before breaking away, knowing they shouldn't be doing this in the middle of the hallway. "I need to leave before you rope me into fucking you again."

"I'll see you in a few hours then." Blaine kisses his temple in a gentle press of lips to skin, Kurt finding the gesture sweet in a way he never has before. "'Night, Kurt."

"'Night, Blaine."

Going into his room, he quietly closes the door and smiles as he shakes his head at how much Blaine wants him. He never thought he could be wanted as much as he is by Blaine.

Climbing under the blankets, instantly warming up, he is asleep in less than a minute.

* * *

Waking up and taking a quick shower, Kurt goes downstairs and to the kitchen. He finds Tilly pouring pancakes onto a griddle and frying bacon and making scrambled eggs.

"Tilly, remind me to never eat ice cream in the middle of the night again." He rubs his still slightly aching stomach, regretting the food of choice from the previous hours before. Besides his stomach, his body is still sore all over from the night before with Blaine. But not regretting a second of that.

"I would have smacked you both if I were here," she teasingly says.

"Hey, no need for abu-…How do you know it was me and Blaine?"

"There were two spoons in the sink, Kurt. Unless you have a different explanation for that, I'm going with Blaine eating with you."

"You're too smart for your own good sometimes."

"No, I had kids that were teenagers once. I notice everything." She smiles at him and then gets a surprised look on her face as she sees something.

"What?" Kurt asks a bit worried.

"What in the world happened to your neck?!"

Kurt remembers and touches the area where Tilly is looking, feeling how tender the spot is to the touch, letting out a small laugh. "Umm...We had to be quite," he explains to her, actually feeling himself blushing in embarrassment.

"So, he bit you?" she shockingly says, taking his hand away and looking at the mark. "I'm gonna smack that boy or give him a talking to."

"Don't scare him, Tilly." Kurt chuckles. "It was an accident."

"Kurt, it looks bad."

"It felt good when he did it." Kurt arches an eyebrow and grins.

"Kurt!" Tilly exclaims, playfully slapping him on the arm, making Kurt laugh. "Now, go sit down. Breakfast is ready."

Giving her a hug from behind, Kurt holds her close. "I love you, Till."

"I love you, too, Kurt," Tilly replies back, patting his arm. "Weird marks and all."

Kurt chuckles at that, giving her a kiss on her cheek before walking to the dining area. He takes his seat across from Blaine. He notices his eyes instantly go to his neck and smirking at his handiwork. It's that look that has Kurt crossing his legs to hide the bulge forming in his jeans. It seems Blaine is able to do more with one look than most men could do with everything they have, and Kurt knows that is not a good thing for him (in a good way.)

* * *

**a/n: Two updates in less than a week, WOW. Hope everybody enjoyed this chapter.**


	8. Chapter 8

Sitting in the tire swing and grinning at Blaine as he pushes him, Kurt crosses his arms on the top and is amazed at the one-eighty the difference is from now and the last time they were here. The drastic change in their relationship is something Kurt never though would happen, but is glad it did. So sitting in the tire, letting Blaine push him, Kurt just stares at him at him and appreciates this moment alone with him.

"You know I tried to talk to Tilly earlier in the kitchen, and she gave me a look that made me so fucking scared," Blaine says as he places his hands on his lower back and pushes him.

"I think Tilly might be a little mad at you," Kurt says as he swings.

"Why wou-She saw the mark on your neck." Blaine figures it out and slightly groans.

"Yeah." Kurt lets out a small laugh and smiles. "She wasn't too happy with what you did."

"She probably thinks I'm weird."

"No," Kurt reassures him. "Just crazy for biting me."

"I'm pretty sure you left out the part where you were fucking me into oblivion and I didn't know what I was doing."

"Yes, Blaine, I spared her the dirty details, but she knew why." Kurt's surprised when Blaine suddenly stops the movement of the swing and looks at him.

Moaning when he captures his lips in a heated and rough kiss, glad to be hidden by the giant tree, Kurt parts his lips and massages his tongue against Blaine's when he starts thrust his into his mouth.

"Can I come to your room tonight?" Blaine asks as he kisses his way down his neck.

"I'm still tired from last night." Kurt shivers when Blaine presses the lightest of kisses to the mark on his neck, making him sigh. He can feel his resolve slowly crumbling as Blaine kisses up his neck and captures his lips in a sweet kiss. Parting his lips when Blaine swipes his tongue along the seam of his mouth, he groans as Blaine massages their tongues together.

Completely forgetting about how tired and sore he is, Kurt gives up and tells Blaine that he can come to his room later that night.

Climbing off the tire swing, Kurt walks with Blaine back into the house, trying to avoid him as he tries to grab at his ass.

"Stop!" he warns him, moving out of the way when Blaine does it again. Having Blaine squeezing his ass is not the way he wants to get caught by Sarah. "Your mom might see you."

"Okay," Blaine reluctantly agrees, clasping his hands together behind his back.

Kurt loves seeing this playful side of Blaine. Ever since they've been doing this, Kurt has noticed that Blaine acts more like the Blaine he knew growing up: carefree and happy and without a worry to his mind. Kurt enjoys having this Blaine around.

"Hey, Till," he says when they walk into the kitchen a few moments later.

"Hey, boys." Kurt chuckles when she hugs him and then playfully smacks Blaine upside the back of his head. "You should know better than to bite. Don't they teach you that in kindergarten?"

"Well...yeah," Blaine replies with a small smile as he rubs the back of his head where Tilly hit him. "But I couldn't help myself."

"And tell me, what is that supposed to mean?" Tilly places her hands on her hips and lifts an eyebrow at Blaine.

"Um...I like...enjoy..." Blaine trails off, letting out a nervous chuckle, Kurt seeing his cheeks turn red in embarrassment at knowing what to tell Tilly.

Playfully rolling his eyes, and deciding to take pity on Blaine, Kurt blurts out, "He enjoys marking me, Till." He sees the look that crosses Tilly's face at that; sees as she goes over his words.

"Could have just said that." Tilly grins at Blaine and pulls him into a warm embrace. Although she also whispers into his ear in a stern but soft voice, "Not again where someone can see."

"Okay, Till," Blaine replies.

"Good," Tilly says as she lets him go and smoothes her hands down her apron. "Kurt, I need you to go to the store for me."

"Alright," Kurt easily agrees, glad to help Tilly out whenever she needs it. "What do you need?"

"Here," Tilly starts as she pulls a piece of paper from the pocket on her apron, handing it to him. "It's just a few things."

Taking the paper and stuffing it in his pocket, Kurt doesn't read what's written. "Okay," he replies. "I won't take long."

"Blaine, you should go with him," Tilly says with a twinkle in her eyes, making Kurt wonder what's she's up to. "He'll need help."

"Alright," Blaine agrees.

"Don't rush, boys." Tilly smiles and goes back to what she was doing before.

Heading out of the kitchen, shaking his head at Tilly's crazy antics, Kurt decides not to question it. Hearing Blaine following behind him, he walks out the front door and heads for his car.

"So, what are we getting her?" Blaine asks as he climbs into the passenger seat.

Pulling the piece of paper from his pocket, Kurt unfolds it and laughs at what is written on it. Handing it over to Blaine, he sees the smile that spreads across his face.

"_'Go have fun for a few hours. I'll cover for both of you'_," Blaine laughs as he reads the note Tilly gave Kurt. "Just when I thought I couldn't love her more."

"Yeah," Kurt says, smiling at how this little thing Tilly is doing for them means so much to him. She is giving them a few hours to be alone together during the day. A few hours to be away from Blaine's mom and her ever-present eyes.

* * *

Sitting in Blaine's lap at the back of the darkened, almost empty theatre, Kurt makes out with him as they ignore the movie playing on the screen and anybody who might see or hear them. Gently rolling his hips down, holding in the moan that wants to escape past his lips, he feels Blaine hard in his jeans. Smiling against Blaine's lips when he grabs at his ass, he whispers, "Can't keep your hands off me, I see." He drops his mouth open against Blaine's in a silent moan when he pushes his hips down and grinds their arousals together.

"If you haven't noticed," Blaine whispers into his ear, sliding one hand to Kurt's stomach and popping the button of his jeans. "I really love touching you."

Kurt stares into Blaine's eyes, letting out a small gasp when he slides his hand into the waistband of his underwear, taking him in hand. The immediate contact sends a spark up Kurt's spine, making him dig his fingers into Blaine's shoulders.

When they decided to watch a movie, Kurt had thought, at most, they would just be making out with each other. But it seems Blaine is surprising him by wanting to do things in a place like this that Kurt never thought he would feel comfortable doing.

"You feel so good in my hand," Blaine whispers into his ear as he slowly strokes him.

The movement of Blaine's hand is a slightly uncomfortable because it's too dry, but Kurt doesn't care. All he can focus on is how it feels; how great it is to have Blaine touching him in such a sexual way.

He pays attention to the firm, but soft, grip of Blaine's hand, the gentle strokes up that slow increase in pace every few seconds, the way Blaine watches him as he jerks him off. The intensity he can still make out in the darkened theatre has Kurt feeling like Blaine is devouring him by just watching as he brings pleasure to him. It makes him even hotter all over at knowing Blaine is enjoying this as much as he is.

On one particular stroke of his fist up, Blaine catches Kurt by surprise when he shoves his other hand down the back of his jeans. Jerking forward when he slides his finger down and ghosts it over his entrance, Kurt stares into Blaine's eyes, wondering if he's going to do it.

"Don't worry," he quietly breathes out. "I won't do anything you don't want."

Biting his lower lip to keep from making too much noise, Kurt wraps an arm around Blaine's neck and buries his face in the crook of his neck. Releasing his lip and panting against his skin, he pushes his hips up into Blaine's fist as he continues to stroke him, and gently back on the finger circling his entrance.

He doesn't tell Blaine that he's thought about having him do that to him before. But whereas it was just a glimmer of an idea he never thought would occur, in the short time Blaine and he have started this thing, whatever it might be, those thoughts have become less fleeting and more prominent in his mind. He thinks about what it would be like to have Blaine's fingers inside him; how would it be to feel a part of Blaine moving inside him as he brought him to pleasure. Those thoughts are just a few he's ready to act upon.

Soon feeling the heat building in his lower belly; coiling as he gets closer and closer, he knows it won't be long before he has his release. He keeps moving his hips as his body chases the orgasm it so desperately wants.

Clutching at Blaine's curls with one hand, the other hand gripping tight to the back of the seat, Kurt screws his eyes shut and quietly moans when he comes over Blaine's fist. He feels the warm splashes as Blaine starts to slow the movement of his hand.

Collapsing against Blaine when his orgasm begins to wane off, gasping for breath, Kurt lifts his head and stares into Blaine's eyes. "That was terrific," he says through slightly heavy breathing.

The rush of cool air hitting his hot skin when Blaine pulls his hand away has Kurt taking notice of the mess now in his jeans. He can feel the wetness as he shifts, but not caring. Too dazed by his orgasm, he doesn't care to worry about something as mundane as his jeans now being uncomfortable.

"That was fun," Blaine whispers right before kissing him. "First time I've ever done that."

"What? Jerked somebody off in public?" Kurt asks with a small laugh.

"Both, actually." Blaine kisses his forehead in a simple gesture, making Kurt smile and fall so much harder for him.

It's with his reply that Kurt recalls how this is all new for Blaine...and some of it new for him. He thinks about he's enjoying these firsts with Blaine.

Watching Blaine reach for a napkin and start clean his hand, Kurt finally climbs off him. Sitting back in his seat, lifting his hips to button his jeans, Kurt groans as he finally takes notice of the wet spot in his jeans and on a small part of his shirt. Now

"Let's go," Kurt says as he stands up. "I'm hungry."

"Alright."

Staying close behind Blaine so no one can see anything as they leave the movie theater he walks to the trunk of his car when they reach it. Grabbing the change of clothes he keeps there in case of emergencies, he climbs into the back of his car. Quickly stripping naked, he grins as Blaine stays turned around in the passenger seat and watches him.

"Seems you're getting two shows in one day," Kurt cheekily says as he pulls on his jeans, having to go without underwear.

"You're more fun to watch than that movie," Blaine replies with a smirk.

Laughing and shaking his head, Kurt pulls on his clean shirt and puts his boots back on. Grabbing his keys from the pocket of the jeans on the floor of the car, he tosses them to Blaine. "You drive." Climbing out of the car, and opening the passenger side door, watching Blaine climb over to the driver's side; he waits until Blaine is pulling out of the parking lot.

Leaning over and popping the button of Blaine's jeans, smiling at the shocked gasp he emits. "Lift your hips," he tells him; pushing his pants and underwear down just enough so the rest around his thighs.

"What are you doing?" Blaine asks as he quickly glances over at him.

Innocently smiling, Kurt pulls Blaine's earlobe between his teeth and slightly bites on it. He whispers, "I'm returning the favor; so drive slow." With a peck to the corner of Blaine's mouth, Kurt drops his head down and takes Blaine into his mouth.

* * *

Sitting across from Blaine in the small cafe, smiling at the grin that hasn't left Blaine's face, Kurt feels a joy at knowing he put it there. Waiting for their food, Kurt twirls his straw in his glass of Coke, hearing the ice sloshing around. Biting his lower lip, Kurt sees as Blaine's eyes dart to his mouth. He knows Blaine's mind immediately goes back to a few minutes before when he was going down on him in the car.

"Can I ask you something?" Blaine says as he takes a drink of his sweet tea, breaking his eye contact of Kurt's mouth.

"Sure."

"I know I was the reason you left, but," Blaine takes a deep breath, getting ready to say what he wants. "Why did you leave when you first came back?"

It's an unexpected question. Right out of left field for Kurt. But he guesses Blaine has probably been thinking about it for some time for him to ask it in the first place. He thinks about the answer, wondering if he should be honest; and deciding to tell him the truth.

"I...," Kurt trails off when he finally starts talking; trying to think of a way to put it without coming off as rude. "I actually came back hoping that you had maybe changed your mind. But...then you told me about Kennedy. I didn't...couldn't be around to see you with someone else. Especially a girl."

"Then you left the next morning without saying goodbye." Kurt sees Blaine's eyes fill with the memory of that day; a sadness washing over him. "I was mad at you for a few months after that."

"I thought it was easier to leave than deal with the pain that would come with seeing you with her." Kurt thanks the waitress when she sets their plates of food in front of them. "It still hurt when I saw you with her a few weeks ago." Smiling at Blaine to show he is fine now, Kurt grabs a fry and eats it.

"Do you not like her because of that?"

"I'm not an asshole, Blaine," Kurt replies, picking up his sandwich. "I not gonna hate her because she has you." Kurt takes notice of how those words affect Blaine; he hears his intake of breath and how his eyes go wide for a split second. "I saw enough to know why you're with her."

"I enjoy being with you more," Blaine says with a grin.

"Yeah, because I give you orgasms," Kurt says to lighten the mood, happy when Blaine laughs at that, nodding his head along.

"True," Blaine jokes.

Walking to his car when they finish eating an hour later, goosebumps going up his arm when Blaine brushes their hands together, Kurt wants to take Blaine's hand in his. But too soon Blaine is pulling his hand away, and Kurt wants to chase that touch again. He wants to know how it feels to have Blaine's hand in his while they walk in public. But he knows they have to be careful.

Gazing at Blaine when he turns him to face him, Kurt is shocked when he kisses him right there in the middle of the parking lot. It's a heart-stopping, breath-stealing kind of kiss that has Kurt wanting to let it go on forever.

Smiling when Blaine rests his forehead to his, keeping his eyes closed, wanting to stay in this feeling of happiness for as long as he can. "I'm sorry for how I hurt you, Kurt," Blaine whispers. "I wish I could have done it differently."

"You can't change the past," he says as he opens his eyes, taking a step back before anyone can see them. "I'm just glad that I have this with you now."

"I wish it could be more."

Kurt nods his head. Yeah, he wants to be selfish and have Blaine all to himself; but he knows that won't be a possibility if Blaine continues to hide the true person he is. "Come on," he says as he starts to walk back to his car. "Let's get back before Tilly can't cover for us no more."

* * *

Barely ghosting his fingers up and down Kurt's back, skin soft and warm to his touch, Blaine feels as Kurt breathes in and out. "I had a great time today," he says in a low voice as he continues to stare at the shadows cast on the ceiling from the light of the moon spilling into the window.

When he came to Kurt's room a few hours before, he had every intention of continuing what they started earlier in the theater and car. But somewhere along the lines of falling into bed and kissing Kurt crazy, he realized he wanted just that. He wanted nothing more than the press of Kurt's lips to his and his body close to his. So that's what they did. They kissed until their lips where red and swollen and numb; kissed until Kurt became sleepy and rested his head against his chest and slowly started to drift to sleep.

"Me too," comes Kurt's sleepy reply.

Lying there as Kurt snuggles closer to him, leaving no space left between them. Now with Kurt's head resting right over his heart, their legs tangled, and his fingers of his other hand linked with Kurt's hand that rest by his hip, Blaine continues to ghost his fingers over Kurt's back as he listens to his even breathing and the rustling of leaves as the wind blows outside.

He carefully climbs out of bed, watching Kurt curl his arms under himself fast sleep. Bringing his blanket up higher to cover his body, Blaine leans down and gives him a kiss to his temple. "I'll see you in the morning," he whispers and walks away.

Collapsing in his bed a few minutes later, Blaine thinks about the time spent with Kurt today and how he wouldn't mind having more opportunities to have more days like it, and wondering what he would have to do to get a few days for themselves; be away from his parents and anyone who might interrupt them during the day.

Letting out a yawn, Blaine stops thinking about that for now and falls asleep.


	9. Chapter 9

**Here you go, lovely readers, a new chapter. Not sure if this one is all that goo, but hopefully, y'all can still enjoy it.**

* * *

Falling back on the bed tired and breathless, feeling slowly coming back into his legs, he turns to see Kurt standing up off the bed. He stares at his backside as he takes the condom off and throws it away. Keeping his eyes on him as he walks to his bathroom, he thinks about how he can't get enough of Kurt and his body.

It's crazy that he was so accustomed to having to look away, that now that he gets to look at Kurt, he can't stop himself. He loves staring at his long, lean body, loves kissing every inch of his pale, flawless skin. He loves that he can stare now without getting caught by Kurt and feeling ashamed. He loves having Kurt catch him and give him a sly smile with a look in his eyes at knowing what he was doing.

Watching as Kurt walk out of the bathroom and climb back into bed, setting his glass of water on his nightstand, he stares at his body on full display as he stretches out. He stares at Kurt's dusty pink nipples that are at peaks, smiling when Kurt moans and arches up into the graze of his fingertips over one. Leaning down, he wraps his lips around one of the nipples and flicks his tongue over the hardened nub.

"God, I love your body." He sucks on Kurt's nipple, hearing him softly moan and raise his hips, threading his fingers through his damp curls. It's enough of an answer for him.

Trailing kisses down his chest, grazing his lips over Kurt's ribs, enjoying when that has Kurt releasing a small moan, he kisses down to the soft skin of Kurt's belly. Nuzzling his nose along the crease of Kurt's thigh, he starts to place little nips and bites to the skin, trailing down Kurt's inner thigh as he tugs on his hair.

He thinks about taking Kurt into his mouth and trying that for this first time like he's imagined for a few years. But he knows he's not exactly ready to do that just yet. But, he does file that away for another time.

"Bl-Blaine, I...I want you to do something." Blaine can hear the nerves in Kurt's voice as he talks, making him curious as to what Kurt could possibly want him to do.

Lifting his head and looking down at Kurt, his flushed face and kiss-swollen lips a deep red the kind of sight that never ceases to turn him on now has him proud to know he caused that. Pushing his hair back, he quietly asks, "What do you want?"

Kurt closes his eyes and pulls his bottom lip between his teeth, taking a deep breath. Releasing his lip a bit wetter, making Blaine want to capture his mouth in a kiss, but resisting, he waits for Kurt to speak. "I want your fingers inside," Kurt whispers, voice slightly trembling.

It takes Blaine a few seconds for him to realize what Kurt is asking for and he is immediately filled with surprise. "Do you want more or just-"

"No," Kurt cuts him off. "Just your fingers for now. Is that okay?"

The first thing that comes to mind for him is say it's more than okay. It's perfectly fucking fine. But then the image of Kurt writhing beneath him as he moves his fingers inside his body, has Blaine so hard and desperate and wanting to so badly bury himself inside Kurt.

Moving up the bed, and dropping his head to Kurt's shoulder, he releases a small groan. "I am more than happy to oblige you," he quietly tells him.

Leaning over, he grabs the bottle of lube and pops the cap; squeezing some onto his fingers, he warms it up some. Looking at Kurt, seeing his pupils blown wide with a lust and hunger unlike he's ever seen, the beautiful blue almost overtaken by black; Blaine strokes his thumb over Kurt's hip in a comforting way. "You ready?" he asks.

"Yeah...Yes," Kurt nervously replies.

Moving his hand between Kurt's legs, gently circling his entrance, Blaine hears as Kurt's breathing becomes a bit heavier with his movements. Pushing his finger into Kurt's body, into his heat that immediately astounds him, Blaine hears Kurt let out a gasp.

"You good?" he asks to make sure Kurt is fine.

"Yeah," Kurt responds as he nods his head. "You can move your hand."

Doing just that, Blaine begins to slowly work his finger in and out of Kurt. He smiles when he notices Kurt gently rolling his hips down on his finger.

After his finger starts to move a bit easier inside Kurt, Blaine pushes in with two. He watches Kurt tip his head back and let out a small moan.

"Oh, my god," Kurt sighs. "It feels so good."

Working the two fingers into Kurt at an easy pace, he lies there and watches as Kurt moans and arches into his fingers, pushing his hips down on them.

It's probably the most beautiful he's ever seen Kurt. The look as pleasure courses through his body makes him look beautiful. Kurt's eyes lust blown as they stare at him, his lips parted around a moan as he perfectly works his fingers into him, his chest heaving as he tries to breathe through everything he's doing to him. It's an image he burns into his mind so he can always remember how Kurt looked in this moment.

Pulling out and gently pushing in with three fingers, Blaine hears Kurt gasp and whimper. He knows it's all new to Kurt; having never done this before in any way, Blaine wants to be careful. Stilling his hands for second to let Kurt adjust, he groans at how tight Kurt is around his fingers, trying not to think about wanting to be inside Kurt. So, instead, he focuses on starting to move his fingers again.

It's as he moves his fingers in and out of Kurt that he realizes he's rutting against the bed. The sight alone of Kurt looking so wrecked and gorgeous as he brings him pleasure has him turned on. To know he's doing that makes him feel good.

Thrusting his fingers in and crooking them when he pulls out, he knows he's found Kurt's prostate when he sees him jerk his hips up and bite his lower lip hard from releasing a loud moan.

"Bl-Blaine...I-I-"

"I know," Blaine cuts him off.

"Do...do it again," Kurt pants, circling his hips down as if trying to make Blaine's fingers brush the spot on his own.

Leaning over and capturing Kurt's mouth in a kiss, he thrust his fingers inside and brushes Kurt's prostate like he wanted. Hearing him moan into his mouth has him smiling.

Pulling away, he looks down to see Kurt has wrapped a hand around himself. Blaine groans at the sight. As he watches Kurt stroke himself, something he's thought about wanting to see for a long time, he begins to rut harder against the mattress. Not a few moments later, he sees Kurt arch his back and tip his head back as he spills over his fist.

The feeling alone of having Kurt contracting around his fingers has him rutting against the bed hard one more time and coming. Dropping his forehead to Kurt's shoulder, he breathes and slowly stills the movement of his hand. Gently pulling his fingers out when he stops altogether, he wipes them on the sheet.

Lifting his head, he looks at Kurt and sees him with his arm thrown over his eyes breathing heavy and with a smile on his lips. "Did you enjoy it?" he asks as he grabs a few tissues and starts to clean Kurt's stomach.

"Yes!" Kurt enthusiastically replies as he nods his head. Moving his arm away, Blaine sees his eyes filled with a happiness he loves knowing he put there. "I could totally be up for that again."

Blaine lets out a small laugh, leaning over to give him a kiss.

"We gotta change the sheets," he says as sits up on the bed.

"Yeah, we do," Kurt agrees. "But somebody has to go get the new ones."

"Who?"

"I just had your fingers inside me. I think that merits me the chance to lie here a bit longer," Kurt points out.

"And you just fucked me," Blaine counter-replies. "My ass probably hurts as much as yours does; considering how hard you were going."

"Didn't hear you complaining." Kurt smiles up at him.

"True."

"Okay, fine," Kurt says as he sits up, Blaine seeing the smallest of winces on his face. "Let's do this the old fashioned way."

"Rock, Paper, Scissors?"

"Yes."

A few minutes later, Blaine grumbles as he puts on his robe as Kurt quietly laughs at him from the bed.

Walking out of the room, and being very quiet, he goes downstairs to where he knows there are fresh, clean sheets. Stepping back into Kurt's room a few moments later, he finds him stripping his bed of his dirty sheets. Now that act alone is boring in and of itself, but the fact that Kurt is still naked makes him grin as he watches him.

"You just gonna stare, or you gonna help me put on these new sheets?" Kurt teasingly asks as he walks to him and takes the sheets.

"I wouldn't mind staring," Blaine answers with a small laugh.

"Too bad, because you're helping."

As he helps Kurt put on the new sheets, he watches him as he stretches his naked body over the bed to tuck one corner of the sheet over the mattress and thinks about how he could never want anybody else. The thought makes him smile, but also terrifies him in that he doesn't know if that's how Kurt feels, too.

"Will you hold me until I fall asleep?" Kurt asks as he climbs into bed when they finish.

"Gladly." Blaine takes off his robe and climbs into bed with Kurt, letting him lay half on top of him when he moves close to his body.

Stroking his fingers up and down Kurt's back as he falls asleep, Blaine smiles when he nuzzles his nose closer into the crook of his neck. At feeling Kurt drifting off to sleep with a smile tugging at the corner of his mouth, Blaine climbs out of bed and grabs his robe. Slipping it on, he leans over and gives Kurt a kiss. "I'm going back to my room now," he quietly informs him. "I'll see you at breakfast."

"Okay," Kurt groggily whispers.

Blaine laughs when he kisses him goodnight and Kurt tries to chase his mouth for more. "Goodnight, Kurt," he whispers when he finally manages to pull away.

"Night, Blaine," Kurt replies back.

Tying his robe, Blaine quietly walks out of Kurt's room and heads to his own room.

* * *

Kurt wakes up and sits up, wincing when his ass throbs with pain at the movement. It makes him remember what Blaine did the night before; it has him blushing redder than a tomato.

The sensation of Blaine's fingers inside him, stretching and thrusting was a sensation he loved immensely, and has him giggling at the memory at how great it was. Shifting some, and feeling the slight throb, he finds he doesn't mind it all that much. Climbing out of bed, he stretches his arms above his head and walks to the bathroom.

Going downstairs after taking a quick shower, Kurt finds Tilly cleaning the dishes from the breakfast he missed. "Hey, Till," he says as he grabs a leftover pancake on a plate. "Guess I overslept."

"It's almost two in the afternoon, Kurt." Tilly tsks as she shakes her head, but smiling at him. "Blaine wanted me to tell you he went with his parents out to eat lunch."

"Thanks." He gives her a quick kiss on the cheek and walks out of the kitchen. Walking to the library, he pulls a book from the shelf and reads to pass the time. When he puts the book back and walks out of the library, he checks the time and is surprised to see that a few hours have passed and that Blaine isn't back yet. Going to the kitchen, he sits there as he watches Tilly prepare dinner.

Hearing the front door close forty-five minutes later, Kurt gets up and finds Sarah heading upstairs with quite a few bags in the grip of each of her hands and Blaine walking to him with a smile. Looking to Blaine, he smiles at seeing him. "Where have you guys been? I thought it was just lunch," Kurt says as he stares at Blaine, chewing his lower lip.

"My mom wanted to go shopping after my dad left for a few hours. She seemed upset after he left, so I went with her as she experienced some retail therapy," Blaine explains to him.

Wrapping his fingers around Blaine's wrist, Kurt drags him to the kitchen for some unknown reason. Going to the pantry in the kitchen, he opens the door. Not knowing where Tilly recently went, Kurt shoves Blaine inside and attacks his mouth after closing the door, glad to be alone. "I can't stop thinking about last night," Kurt breathes as he kisses Blaine, sucking on his lower lip.

"Mmm," Blaine groans. "That was fun."

Kurt grins as he pushes Blaine back against the shelves, accidentally knocking a few cans to the floor.

"What's with us and the kitchen?" Blaine jokingly asks as he looks around and Kurt feels him undo his belt buckle. "Why'd you come in here?"

"I'm not really thinking straight right now, Blaine," Kurt responds with want dripping from his voice. "All I can think about is having your fingers inside me again."

Ignoring when Blaine harshly pushes him up against the wall after that, Kurt slides his hands under and up his shirt, running his fingers over Blaine's muscles. Sighing when Blaine shoves his hand down the back of his pants, Kurt bucks forward and releases a low moan when he squeezes his ass, sighing at how good it feels when his and Blaine's groins brush.

Stilling when someone knocks on the door, Kurt holds his breath as the door slowly opens. Nervously giggling and blushing in embarrassment, he feels Blaine hide his face in the side of his neck as Tilly looks them up and down. He sees her vision stop on his undone jeans and shake her head as she smiles.

"Hi, Tilly," Kurt says through his laughter.

"Can you hand me the can of tomatoes, please."

Reaching up and grabbing the can, Kurt hands it to her.

"Have a nice day, boys." She smiles at them and begins to close the door again, but stopping before it clicks shut. "Next time don't have sex where you can easily get caught."

Kurt snorts as Blaine says okay; being alone once Tilly closes the door all the way.

"I guess that's our cue to get out of here," Kurt whispers, reaching down and doing up his pants.

"I hate having to wait all day for the night just so I can be with you," Blaine grumbles as he buckles his belt.

"It is what it is." Kurt shrugs his shoulders and half smiles, accepting that they have to be fortunate enough to even have the nights they get.

He's right there with Blaine, wanting to be with Blaine whenever he wants and not have to wait all day.

Opening the door and stepping out, giving Blaine a quick kiss before he walks away, he goes up to Tilly. Leaning up against the counter where she's cooking, smiling like a fool, he waits for her to say something in regards to what just happened.

"Can't keep y'all's hands off each other, can y'all?" she teasingly says.

"I knew you were going to say something." Kurt shakes his head and laughs.

"Can you blame me? I just almost caught a free sex show in the pantry."

Kurt drops his head in his hands in embarrassment, shoulders shaking with his laughter. "I can't believe you just said that." He lifts his head to look at her, finding the corner of her mouth turning up into a small smile.

"And I can't believe you thought it smart to go at it in the kitchen." Tilly quietly chuckles at him.

Looking to the bench of the sun nook and remembering what happened there a few weeks before, quickly averting his gaze before his blush deepens and Tilly questions him on it. "Guess you're right," Kurt admits, shrugging his shoulders.

"Of course I'm right. Now, go sit," Tilly tells him. "Dinner is ready."

* * *

Sitting next to Blaine on the couch in the living room after dinner, trying to hide his smile as Blaine runs his hand up his inner thigh. "You better be glad we're alone right now," Kurt says around a small moan when Blaine moves his hand high enough to brush his knuckles along the bulge forming in his jeans.

"Wish we were fully alone," Blaine whispers as he palms Kurt over his jeans.

Kurt opens his legs further, lifting his hips up into Blaine's hand. He knows what Blaine means by his statement, because he feels the same.

But at this moment, he can only really focus on Blaine's hand as he continues to palm him over his jeans. It starts a heat in his lower belly and has him wanting Blaine to slip his hand down the front of his jeans and wrap his fingers around him. Thinking about that has flashes of what they did in the movie theater go through his mind and turn him on even more.

"Feel good?" Blaine whispers into his ear.

"Yes," Kurt sighs.

"Blaine! Come here!"

He jumps at hearing John calling for Blaine from his office a few rooms over. Looking over to Blaine, he sees the same fright in his eyes at thinking they had been caught.

"I'll be back in a few," Blaine tells him before standing and leaving the room.

* * *

Blaine walks into his father's grand office, shelves of law books lining one wall and a leather couch against the other. His father sits behind his large, oak desk in his leather chair, his mom standing behind the chair with one arm resting on top of the chair, a warm smile on her face.

"Yes?" he says as he sits in one of the chairs in front of the desk.

"Your mother and I have some news for you," his father says with a deep and commanding voice.

_'It's a divorce. Isn't it?'_ Blaine thinks about how Kurt would say that if he was here; smiling at the thought. "What is it?" he says instead, trying to contain his laughter.

"Well," his mother says with her smooth and polite voice. "Your father and I will be leaving for a few days to New York for his job. I'm going to

"Is it just you two?" Blaine asks, really hoping they don't take him along. He doesn't want to be away from Kurt for those days.

"Yes." John nods his head. "You'll be staying because your mother has people stopping by."

"People?"

"Just the party planner stopping by to see what she will be working with," Sarah informs him.

It's then that Blaine remembers the party his mom has coming up in less two weeks.

"Alright." Blaine twiddles his thumbs, uncertain if that's all they wanted to tell him. "Is that all, then?" he finally asks.

"Yes," his father answers in an even and deep voice. "You can go now."

Standing up, Blaine leaves his father's office. Walking back to the living room with a bit of a bounce in his step, he grins when he sees Kurt.

"What'd he want?" Kurt asks as he sits down beside him.

"I'll tell you later tonight," Blaine replies.

* * *

Kurt sits in Blaine's lap contemplating if he should ask Blaine to do this. It's not that he's nervous; he's just scared about the idea of him saying no. But he holds onto the notion that Blaine has been complaining more about only having nights for each other. After he told him about John and Sarah leaving for a few days the idea instantly came to him.

"I was wondering if you could do something for me?" he quietly asks.

"Anything."

Kurt smiles at his reply. "I want to get away for a few days while your parents are gone. We can't be alone with Tilly still here and the party planner stopping by. I want to be alone with you somewhere. Do you want to do that with me?" He fills Blaine go impossibly still beneath him, hastily wondering if he thought wrong about Blaine wanting to go with him so they could have uninterrupted, loud, copious amounts of sex whenever they wanted for the few days away.

Scrambling to climb out of Blaine's lap, trying to think of a quick recovery to his request, hands holding tight to his hips still his movements. Looking up and staring into eyes he's always loved, he is surprised when he doesn't see the fear or doubt he thought he would.

Heart racing, he opens his mouth to say something, only to be stopped by Blaine pressing his fingers over his lips to stop him.

"I see you doubting and kicking yourself for asking." Blaine moves his fingers to cup the side of Kurt's face. "Don't. You know it's what I've been wanting; and now presented with the opportunity, I'm eagerly jumping at the chance provided for us. I'm actually surprised a I didn't think of it before."

"Really?" Kurt asks with a grin and a tone to his voice conveying his happiness.

Blaine moves to wrap his hand around the back of Kurt's neck and pull him down for a kiss. But stopping before their mouths crash together, he breathes against Kurt's lips, "Really."

Kurt then does crash their mouths together, winding his arms around Blaine's shoulders and holding him tight.

"And I know a place we can go to."

That's good. Blaine," Kurt whispers.

"Yeah?"

"I've been thinking about something else."

"Okay."

"When we leave and we're alone for those few days, there's something I want." Stopping for a second, calming his unsteady nerves and racing heart, he can't believe how scared he is to ask of this.

"Go on," Blaine says in anticipation.

He stares into his eyes and breathes, ready to say this out loud after a long time. So, with a sure and calm voice, he says, "I want you to fuck me."


	10. Chapter 10

**I pretty much had this chapter written for a few days, so I'm posting it. Enjoy!**

* * *

"Remind me again about this place we're going to?" Kurt asks he sits in the passenger seat of Blaine's car. He has his feet up on the dash and he pulls a packet of gum from his pockets, unwrapping one and putting it in his mouth.

It's early in the morning and they are headed to some apartment in the city Blaine says he knows about. The night before, John and Sarah left and Kurt was so eager and excited to be leaving with Blaine that he had trouble sleeping. He knows he could have spent the night with Blaine, but he told him it would be better if they rested so they weren't tired the next day.

"My dad has an apartment in the city, right? Now, you might be wondering why he has it?" Kurt nods his head at the question, waiting for Blaine to continue. "Well, he's been having an affair with somebody from his office."

"No shit!" Kurt says shocked, almost swallowing and choking on his gum.

"Yeah," Blaine says with a laugh. "It's been going on for about two years with this new woman. Her name is Avery."

"How do you know that?"

"I heard him talking to her on the phone months ago." Blaine stops at the red light, tapping his fingers against the wheel. "He cares for her, I can tell. That's what the place is for. It's where they go to be together. I snuck around in his office when he was gone one day and found the address and key; I made a copy."

"Your mom? Does she know?"

"If she does, I can't tell you. She hides it well if she knows."

Thinking about what he just found out from Blaine as he starts to drive again, Kurt is astounded a secret that big was able to be kept from him. He never even figured John to be the type to step out on Sarah; he guesses it goes to show that you never really know everything about a person.

"Do you think he loves her?" he curiously asks.

"Yeah," Blaine responds as he nods his head. "But he'll never leave my mom."

"Why?"

"Moral obligation. He doesn't want to do that to her. Has to keep up the charade of being a happily married couple still very much in love."

"Crazy what lengths people will go to hide something," Kurt remarks.

The rest of the drive is quiet, but filled with an energy that buzzes around them. It has Kurt anticipating getting to the apartment and taking that last step there is left for him in his sex life.

Stopping in front of a very fancy building, Kurt follows Blaine inside and into an elevator. Taking his hand, he squeezes it and smiles at him. Walking off the elevator with him when it dings and the doors open, they stop in front of a door. He waits as Blaine pulls a key from his pocket and unlocks the door.

Stepping into the luxurious apartment, Kurt looks around and can't believe that John uses this to have an affair. Hearing the alarm going off, Kurt looks over to see Blaine punching in a four digit code. "You know the code?" he asks a bit surprised.

"Not really," Blaine replies with a small chuckle. "But my dad isn't very creative when he chooses numbers. Took a wild guess, and I was right. It was the last four numbers of his social."

"So," he says with a small laugh. "This is your dad's love shack? This is where he does the dirty on the down low?" Kurt laughs at the face Blaine makes.

"Eww. Anything that provides that visual in my head, please refrain from saying it." Blaine smiles at him, placing the key on a table next to the lamp. "So..."

"So..." Kurt repeats, gazing at Blaine.

"Are we doing this? I mean are you sure?" Blaine asks as he fidgets with the zipper of his jacket.

"Am I sure I want you to fuck me?" Kurt asks; Blaine nodding his head yes. "Yeah, I'm sure. Unless you're not sure?"

"No! No, I'm just...nervous."

"Don't be." Kurt takes Blaine's hand, grabbing what they'll need from his bag and walking up the stairs to the second level of the apartment.

Reaching the top of the staircase and looking around, Kurt has to give it to John. The whole second level's walls have been knocked down and leaving a big open space turned into a giant bedroom, a door near the bed the only one remaining. Kurt easily guess it to be the bathroom. The huge king size bed at one end of the room is only one of a few pieces of furniture up there. Against one wall is a dresser, an armoire against another, a chaise lounge near where he stands still holding Blaine's hand, and a few chairs. Kurt immediately knows this room isn't meant for a nice flare of decoration, but to forget everything and have sex.

"I have to say, it's very nice." Kurt takes his jacket off and drops it on the floor. "It has a loft kind of feeling to it." Walking across the room to the bed, tossing the supplies on the bed, he lies back on it, sighing at how soft it is. Spreading his legs so Blaine can stand between them, he stares up at him, feeling a blush begin to stain his cheeks at how Blaine is looking at him like he wants to devour him. "You just gonna stare, or are you going to fuck me?"

"Since you asked so nicely," Blaine jokes, slipping his jacket off. "You sure?"

"Yup." Kurt nods his head.

Sitting up and grabbing the hem of his shirt, Kurt pulls it over his head and drops it to the floor as Blaine does the same. Lying back down and undoing his jeans, he lifts his hips when Blaine slides his fingers into his waistband and tugs his jeans and underwear off. Kicking off his boots, Kurt pushes his jeans off from around his ankles.

Grinning as he sits up again, Kurt works Blaine's jeans open and pushes them off his hips along with his underwear. Scooting back on the bed, sighing as Blaine kisses along the length of his body as he crawls up to him; Kurt can feel the butterflies in his stomach at how nervous he is. But he knows without a doubt that this is right.

Grabbing the bottle, Kurt flicks the cap open and squeezes some onto Blaine's fingers. Moaning as Blaine slowly stretches him, knowing he's being thorough since it's his first time bottoming. Fingers stretch and send small sparks of pleasure along his spine when Blaine barely brushes his prostate. He feels empty when Blaine pulls them out, but knowing that emptiness is about to be filled in a different way.

"Are you su-"

"Blaine Anderson!" Kurt playfully yells. "If you ask me if I'm sure one more time I'm going to scream. I've been waiting for this for four years. So, yes, I'm sure." Getting confused when Blaine rolls off him and lies beside him, he lies on his side and faces him. "What? Did I say something wrong?"

"What do you mean you waited four years for this?" Blaine looks at him with a glimmer of happiness in his eyes.

"I..." Kurt takes a deep breath before saying his next words. "I always wanted it to be you...that I bottomed with first. So, after that night, I never let anybody because I was waiting for you, not even knowing if it would ever happen. Now that we're doing this, I'm more than ready for you to be my first." Kurt doesn't add that he hopes Blaine is his last. But he also knows even if this ends, he won't do it for anyone else.

"Wow!" Blaine huffs. "Way to make a man more nervous than he already is."

"Don't be nervous. You'll be great."

"Yeah," Blaine sighs. "Says the guy who made my first time fucking amazing."

Kurt bites his lower lip and grins at that, getting a bit of an ego boost at Blaine telling him that. "Blaine," he says in a comforting tone as he cups the side of Blaine's face and strokes his thumb over his cheek. "Don't worry about all that. You making it amazing doesn't matter to me. I'll be happy with good. I just want you inside me."

Moaning when Blaine captures his lips in a deep and sensual kiss, Kurt lets him roll him onto his back. Holding the pillow beneath him, he watches as Blaine leans over on the bed to grab one of the condoms at the edge of the mattress. Hearing him tear it open, Kurt takes notice of his heart picking up its pace in his chest at the knowledge of what is about to happen.

"Ready?" Blaine kindly asks as he hovers over him again and kisses his temple.

"Yes."

Kurt takes in a sharp breath when Blaine starts to push past the first ring of muscles. Clutching his hands in the pillow and closing his eyes, he breathes through the slight pain, smiling when Blaine presses a gentle kiss to his forehead.

"You okay?" Blaine asks as he continues to gently rock his hips forward into him.

"Yeah," Kurt says as he nods his head and stares up at Blaine. "It's just...different." He breathes and relaxes around Blaine as he still slowly pushes in. Closing his eyes when a final thrust of Blaine's hips has him pressed flush against his ass Kurt takes a few deep breaths until the slight pain dissipates.

He knew when he would finally bottom-only under the circumstances of right now-that it wouldn't come without some pain. That's why when he first slept with Blaine, he wanted to make sure he was gentle with him, was careful; he didn't want to hurt him. He loves Blaine for being just as gentle to him as he was with him.

"Kurt," Blaine's voice pulls him out of his head, "look at me." He opens his eyes only to find Blaine watching him with a worried look in his eyes. "We can stop," he informs him.

"No." Kurt shakes his head. "I just needed a few seconds."

"Okay."

Staring into Blaine's gorgeous eyes, Kurt lets out a soft moan when Blaine starts to move his hips. The movements are slow and gentle to start off. Having Blaine inside him after waiting for it for so long feels so surreal to Kurt that he wonders what he did right to be able to experience this, finally.

"Talk to me, Blaine," Kurt murmurs, wanting to make certain this real and not some vivid dream he is having.

"My god," Blaine drops his head and pants into his ear. "You feel amazing."

Kurt smiles at that, tipping his head back and parting his lips around a moan when Blaine picks up his pace. It's not fast, just yet, but it's enough for Kurt to feel the embers of pleasure start to form in his body.

"You feel amazing, too." Kurt lifts his legs higher on either side of Blaine and tilts his hips up, getting more of Blaine inside him. He wraps his arms around Blaine's back and clutches at his shoulders, digging his fingers in as Blaine continues to thrust into him.

The feeling of having another person inside him, especially since that person is Blaine, is so arousing and sensual and intimate that Kurt is happy he waited for Blaine. He knows at any time he could have given up hope of Blaine being with him and done this with whoever he wanted. But now...Now, with Blaine, he knows the waiting was worth it in the end.

"I'm glad it's you, Blaine," he voices his thoughts, panting into Blaine's ear. "I'm glad I waited to experience this with you."

The next thing Kurt knows he's being kissed with a hunger that excites him. The kiss is all tongue and teeth and seems to change the pace at which they're going. All of a sudden Blaine is thrusting into him with hard snaps of his hips. Kurt opens his legs as much as he can and whines low in his throat.

When Blaine pushes up and plants his hands on either side of his head, Kurt lets out a cry of pleasure when he tilts his hips up and Blaine thrust in and hits his prostate. It sends white, hot pleasure all through him and starts a coiling heat in his belly.

"I'm...I'm close, Blaine," he pants.

Moaning into the kiss Blaine gives him after he drops to his forearms, Kurt lifts his hips up into Blaine's fist when he wraps it around him. A few strokes of Blaine's hand and Kurt is spilling over his fist and onto his stomach.

Experiencing waves of pleasure, and riding it out, Kurt is so blissed out he barely notices as Blaine thrust hard a few more times and experience his own release. Just lying there as they catch their breath, afterwards, Blaine lying on top of him, Kurt is pretty sure Blaine could ask him to run naked down the street and he would he is so happy.

His body still thrums with the aftershocks of pleasure like an earthquake, just when he thinks it's fully over one more jolt will run through him and have him moaning low in his throat.

Wincing when Blaine pulls out a few moments later, already feeling a slight pain in his body, Kurt watches as Blaine pulls the condom off and stands up and walks to the bathroom. Lying there, and feeling like he's floating on a cloud, Kurt doesn't hold back his smile at the giddiness he feels. He feels like a kid who just discovered cake for the first time; and now that he has, he wants as much as he can have.

Staring up at Blaine with what he is sure is a goofy grin on his face, Kurt lazily drags his fingers along Blaine's arm as he cleans his stomach. Turing onto his stomach after Blaine tosses the tissues into the trash, he

"How do you feel?" Blaine kisses at his shoulder, stroking his thumb over where his lips were just pressed.

"Like I just go fucked in the ass for the first time." Grinning at Blaine, Kurt closes the space between them and gives him a peck on the lips.

"Always so eloquent."

"Well, most of my body is sore, my ass hurts, and I'm hungry. But, all that aside, I love it immensely. It was much better than when I let myself imagine."

"So, it was good?" Blaine sheepishly asks.

"It was great, honestly." Kurt nuzzles his nose against Blaine's cheek when he smiles at that. Sitting up and pushing Blaine onto his back, he straddles him and slowly begins to roll his hips down. "Now, let's try for amazing."

"I thought you were hungry?"

"We can eat later."

* * *

Falling back against the end of the bed in a heap of breathlessness and loose limbs with pleasure still coursing through his body, Kurt can't fight the huge grin on his face.

"How was that?" Blaine cockily asks.

"I...I think I just died," Kurt responds with a shaky voice filled with pure happiness.

It's been a few hours since they got here and they have yet to leave the bed, and Kurt's pretty sure he just had his brains fucked out. Not that he minds in the least.

Blaine just chuckles and moves to his side, gazing down at Kurt. "So, can you say it was amazing?"

"Blaine," Kurt tries to say with a bit of sternness to his voice, but only managing to sound out of breath. "I just had the greatest orgasm anybody could have. That was far from amazing; it was totally something I can't even put a word to."

He tries to lift his arm to pat Blaine's cheek, but finding it feels like it weighs a thousand pounds. He figures he'll need a few hours to recuperate after what Blaine just did to him. Giggling at how amazing he still feels, he looks over to Blaine to find him on propped up on his elbows staring at him with a grin. "What?" he asks

"Nothing," Blaine responds, slightly shaking his head. "I'm just proud to know I did that to you."

"Well," Kurt says with an air of giddiness to his voice. "You can do that to me again anytime you want." Kurt manages to scoot over to Blaine, pressing into his side. "In fact," he says. "How about after I take a nap, we go again?"

"Can't do," Blaine tells him, getting Kurt confused. "We're going out tonight."

"Really? Where?" Kurt asks intrigued.

"It's a surprise." Blaine smiles and kisses him, making Kurt sigh.

When he pulls away, Kurt lies back on the bed and gets comfortable, instantly feeling his eyes get heavy and sleep overtake him.

* * *

The lights of the street lamps lining the sidewalk, and the lights from the restaurant, combined with the brightness of the moon make it easy for Kurt to see the grin on Blaine's face as they walk back to Blaine's car.

He thinks he knows what Blaine's intentions were by bringing him to a place an hour and a half from where anyone might notice them. It was obvious when he told him to dress nice and he saw the fancy restaurant. But it's still hard to believe, and he wants to make sure he was right.

"Blaine," Kurt says as he closes the passenger side door. He buckles his seatbelt and waits until he's finished before he continues. "Was this a date?" He looks over to see Blaine blush the slightest, knowing that is answer enough for him.

"What would you say if I said yes?" Blaine looks to him with a joy in his eyes Kurt loves seeing there; it makes his eyes seem to shine brighter.

Kurt fights hard not to smile at realizing he just went on a date with Blaine. It was a wonderful and great thing, but he thinks about everything they had to do just to make sure not to be caught. Thinks about how Blaine has been on, and will continue to go on, many dates with Kennedy. He should be thrilled he even got a date with Blaine, but the knowledge of knowing that this was something that might never happen again hurts a little. He can't hope and pray for something to happen that could never come to fruition.

"Don't ever do it again," he softly whispers, looking out his window so he doesn't have to see the hurt Blaine will experience at his words.

It hurts to say, but it protects him from hoping. Stopping it now makes it easier for both of them in the end.

The rest of the car ride is silent back to the apartment.

Walking to the kitchen when they do get back to the apartment, Kurt is surprised when Blaine comes up behind him and roughly pushes him up against the kitchen island.

"Is this all this is to you, Kurt?" Blaine growls into his ear as he pushes between his shoulder blades so his chest rests on top of the cold marble of the island. "Is this all you want?"

Kurt gasps as Blaine grinds his hips into ass, effectively turning him on faster than normal. Something about Blaine being angry and manhandling him is so fucking sexy that Kurt is quickly becoming submissive and will be willing to do anything Blaine wants.

But he knows right now is about a lot more than sex. He knows it's about their date; their date he loved but couldn't appreciate because he doesn't want to look forward to more when Blaine is with someone else. He didn't want to jump for joy and do a victory dance at going on his very first date because in the end it's all Blaine would be able to give him. There wouldn't be more dates at fancy restaurants or hand holding on top of tables or stolen kisses as they walked out of the restaurant. So, turning his head, he looks at Blaine over his shoulder and says with a clear and even voice, "It's the only _sure_ thing you can give me."

Somehow that triggers something in Blaine and Kurt feels as he reaches around to undo his jeans. Staying still unless told otherwise, Kurt lets Blaine do what he wants, knowing they both need this. They aren't doing it for the pleasure, but to be close in the only way they can be. They need to be reminded that this, whatever it might be, is something that could easily slip away and they only have the certainty of now.

Even though he was mad, Kurt sighs at how gentle Blaine is as he eases into him after stretching him, taking his time. Kurt can feel the tension in his muscles when he reaches behind him and grabs at his side, knowing he's holding back just so he doesn't hurt him. Moaning as he slowly rocks into him, Kurt knows this isn't what they both want.

Pushing himself up, and resting his head back on Blaine's shoulder, he looks up at him. "Hard," he groans, rolling his hips back. "Fuck me hard."

Letting out a surprised gasp when Blaine bends him over the island again, grasping Blaine's fingers in his when he covers his hands, Kurt grins at how great he can already tell this is going to be.

* * *

"I'm sorry," he says again, grazing his fingers along Kurt's back.

"Stop apologizing." Kurt gazes at him and gives him an easy smile.

After the incident in the kitchen, he turned Kurt around and picked him up, carrying him upstairs. The flush on Kurt's cheeks and his heavy breathing, and the sly smile of pleasure on his face had him tossing him on the bed and going just as hard again. He knew Kurt enjoyed it by the things he said as he fucked him, how his fingernails dug into his skin, and how he cried out his name in ecstasy when he came.

But lying here now afterwards, Blaine starts to think maybe he went a little too far with how he was.

"I know, but...but, I'm sor-" Blaine is stopped from continuing when Kurt covers his mouth with his hand.

"Blaine," Kurt says with a small laugh to his voice. "Stop apologizing. I wanted it, and enjoyed it. So stop beating yourself up over it."

"If there's bruises tomorrow, I apologize in advance for them." Blaine moves Kurt's hand away and leans over to kiss at his shoulder.

"That's to be expected on both our parts; considering how rough we both were."

Turning his lips up into a smile against Kurt's skin, he pulls away and strokes his thumb over the tattoo high on Kurt's right shoulder blade. He traces his finger over the green of the lines that make up the leaves of the clovers; the design very beautiful and different from other clover tattoos he's seen.

"Kurt."

"Yeah," he softly replies.

"Will you tell me about your tattoo?" he carefully asks, still unsure if Kurt wants to reveal the meaning behind it.

Kurt hugs the pillow tighter and lets out a deep sigh. "Do you really want to know? I mean, it's not very interesting or anything."

"Of course I want to know." Blaine strokes his thumb over the ink on Kurt's skin.

"Each leaf represents a person dear and important to me." Blaine can see that Kurt isn't telling him the full truth of what the leaves mean. But instead of pushing him for more, he continues to listen as Kurt talks. "One for my mom, one for my dad, one for Tilly, and one for you." Kurt pushes himself up onto his elbows, giving him a half smile. "I didn't want names because that's just tacky and ugly in my opinion. One day the idea of a four leaf clover came to me and I went with it."

"It's gorgeous," Blaine whispers truthfully, leaning down and pressing his lips to the tattoo.

"Thanks."

"Did you design it yourself?"

"Yeah," Kurt responds as he nods his head. "It was the first thing I've drawn in four years. But I really don't consider it much of drawing since it was a quick sketch; nothing like I used to do."

"Why don't you draw anymore?" Blaine curiously asks.

Kurt gives him a weak smile. "After that night in the kitchen, I kind of lost all inspiration and want to draw."

Blaine lies on his back and covers his face and groans. Knowing that now makes him feel like an asshole. "God," he huffs. "I'm the reason you don't draw anymore!"

"It's fine." Kurt pulls at his hand. "I forgave you a long time ago."

Blaine lets him move his hands out the way. Looking at Kurt, he sees him smiling down at him. "I'm sorry," he apologizes, wishing there was something else he could do.

"Don't apologize. It's as much my fault, too. I haven't even attempted to try drawing again. I just let it...go."

"Do you miss it?"

He holds Kurt as he lies down and snuggles close to him; resting his head on his shoulder. "Very much," Kurt softly replies. "I miss how my fingers would get dirty from the charcoal. I miss being able to get lost in a drawing for hours, and not have to worry about anything for awhile. I miss having the pencils in my hand." Kurt is quiet for a second. Blaine watches as he lifts his hand up and stares at it for a few seconds. "You know that's why I started smoking."

"What do you mean?"

"I was so accustomed to having something in my hand, that when it went away I needed something to replace it. One day someone offered me one and I took it; it felt great to have something to hold, to occupy my hands. Just like the pencils."

"What are you gonna do once you quit?"

"I'll figure something out." Kurt looks up at him and smiles.

"Do you ever think you might draw again?" he asks as he grazes his fingers over Kurt's shoulder.

"Definitely," Kurt replies.

* * *

"We b-broke the vase." Kurt is breathless as he lies there with his legs still around Blaine's waist. Somehow he found himself on the desk in the living room as Blaine fucked him. When Blaine held him and pushed off the wall, he saw him swipe what was on the desk to the floor. The crash of the vase to the floor went unnoticed by him after Blaine started to move his hips again.

Looking down, he can see scattered pieces of the black vase on the floor along with everything else Blaine knocked off the table.

"I can replace it." Blaine stands up and Kurt feels empty when he pulls out of him, finally dropping his legs and stretching them.

It's been almost two days since they've been at the apartment and Kurt has never felt happier in his life. Being here with Blaine and being with him in the most intimate of ways has an air of want in him. He looks around and realizes he wants this for the rest of his life. He wants to share a home, and his life, with Blaine. He wants to intertwine his life with Blaine's in a way that will have them together in a way that will make him ridiculously happy; he realizes he could marry Blaine one day if ever presented with the opportunity.

But he knows he shouldn't think like that. He isn't even sure if this thing between them will last. Not with Blaine still hiding from his parents and with Kennedy. So, Kurt won't hold his breath for the chance at that life. He desperately wants it, but knows it's like smoke: easy to see but impossible to catch with your hands.

Hopping off the table on slightly wobbly legs, he follows Blaine as he watches him walk to the kitchen. "Fuck that's cold!" he curses when Blaine cleans him up with a wet napkin.

"Sorry." Blaine smiles at him and throws away the napkin.

The next instant Kurt finds himself being kissed in an unexpected, but totally welcomed, kissed. He feels Blaine cup the back of his neck and tilt his head back and deepen the kiss. Although they just had sex, Kurt can feel his body already wanting Blaine again.

"How about we have a late lunch and then you can fuck me," Blaine says against his lips, obviously experiencing the same things as him.

"Mmm," Kurt sighs, draping his arms over Blaine's shoulders, twirling the curls at the base of his neck around his fingers. "I like the way you think."

Climbing out of bed a couple hours later, leaving a passed out Blaine alone, Kurt goes to look for his jacket. Patting the pockets when he finds it, he is relieved when he finds what he wants.

Pulling out the single cigarette and his Zippo lighter, he walks to the balcony outside. Sitting in one of the wrought iron chairs, bringing his feet up on the edge of the chair, he lights his cigarette and just holds it between his fingers, no longer in the mood to smoke it, just wanting to hold something.

Tossing his lighter on the table, hearing it hit with a heavy clank, he looks out at the view from the apartment balcony. It's a lovely day; the mid-day sun hangs in the sky and shines down on him, warming his naked skin. Tipping his head back, closing his eyes, he lets the rays fall on his face, simply enjoying the moment and how great he feels.

"You know people can see you." He hears Blaine's voice and smiles.

"Why is that a problem?" he asks as he turns to find Blaine leaning against the frame of the sliding door. He arches an eyebrow and bites his lower lip when he gets a good look at Blaine in nothing but black boxers. His lean body on display making Kurt think about how it felt to have him above him as their bodies moved together; that thought alone turning him on.

"Maybe because you're naked."

"Not like it's nothing none of them haven't seen before." Kurt taps off the ash on the end of the cigarette, smiling at Blaine when he sits down next to him.

The simple act of just sitting here with Blaine is somehow so intimate that it makes Kurt's heart beat that bit more faster.

"Why aren't you smoking it?" Blaine tilts his chin to the cigarette burning between his fingers.

"Just felt like having something in my hand." Kurt taps out the ash, and then stubbing out what's left. "Aren't you scared of somebody seeing us together out here?" Kurt wraps his arms around his legs, resting his chin on his knees.

"They don't know me. Here, I'm simply Blaine who's with you."

Kurt grins at that. Dropping his legs, he unashamedly stands up and walks to the sliding door. Standing there with his back to Blaine, he says over his shoulder, "How 'bout you come inside and fuck me." He barely has the door half open before Blaine is pressing to his back and holding him close, guiding him to the bed. "That's what I thought," Kurt says around a moan and grinning, reaching behind himself to push Blaine's underwear off his hips.

"Fuck you," Blaine growls into his ear.

"That's what I'm hoping for." Kurt feels himself being pushed down onto the bed when they reach it, already knowing this is going to be rough like he's found out he loves.

* * *

Lying in bed but not tired, Kurt watches Blaine nuzzle his head more into his pillow and continue to sleep. Itching for something, Kurt sits up and climbs out of bed. Pacing back and forth, trying to figure out what he wants, he stops when he figures it out.

Quietly walking across the floor and down to the living room, he goes to the work desk and pulls open the top drawer, finding a stack of clean, white paper. Grabbing a few sheets and some pencils, he walks back to the room and pulls the chair in the corner closer to the bed. Bringing his feet up to rest on the edge of the chair, Kurt rests the papers against his knees and gets a good look at Blaine and starts to sketch and draw.

He loses himself in the drawing; in the lines and curves of Blaine's body, the shadows on his skin, and in just the simple...beauty of who Blaine is. He captures all of that in the picture. But for the first time in four years, he draws a picture; he creates something with his talent that has gone untouched for too long.

* * *

**If you want to know what Kurt's tattoo looks like, I linked to it on Scarves just search for the story there and the link is at the end notes.**


	11. Chapter 11

Slowly opening his eyes the next morning, and finding Blaine standing close to him, Kurt sees his back to him as he looks at something.

"Blaine," he quietly says to get his attention. "What are you looking at?"

Blaine looks over his shoulder and smiles at him. Turning to face him, Kurt sees a paper in his hands and remembers the picture he drew the night before.

"Oh, God, I'm sorry." Kurt covers his face in embarrassment, thinking Blaine probably considers him weird for drawing him. "You weren't supposed to see that."

"Why not?" Kurt feels the bed dip as Blaine climbs on, feeling him straddle his lap and sit back on his thighs. "It's amazing, Kurt."

Kurt looks at Blaine through his fingers. "Really?" he asks with a muffled voice.

"Yes, really."

"It's the first time I've drawn in almost four years. I'm still a bit rusty in some areas."

"Tell you what," Blaine says as he pulls Kurt's hands away from his face. "How about I be your model for the day and you work on those rusty spots? How's that sound?"

"I could do that," Kurt answers; smiling wide and blushing a bit.

A few hours later, Kurt sits on the couch and keeps his eyes on Blaine. "You know when I said to get comfortable I didn't mean you had to take your clothes off. Although, I'm not complaining."

He has a stack of clean, white paper in his lap as he watches Blaine pull his shirt over his head. Twirling the pencil in his hand, he bites his lower lip as Blaine undresses for him. He's gotta admit that having Blaine for a model is proving to be a big plus.

"Of course you're not complaining." Blaine grins at him as he undoes his belt and works his jeans open, pushing them down his legs. "I'm more comfortable like this, anyways."

"In just your underwear?"

"Yup," Blaine replies as he nods his head and smiles.

Watching Blaine sit on the couch, back up against the armrest and legs out in front of him, Kurt stops the twirling of the pencil and brings it down to the paper. He starts to sketch Blaine; drawing the lines of his body like the night before. And just like the night before, he easily moves his hand, dragging the pencil across paper and creating the art he's missed doing.

After a few hours, though, and a dozen drawings or so, papers scatter the wooden floor of the living room. They're all in various stages from complete to unfinished. But Kurt doesn't care at the moment, because he enjoys lying atop Blaine and slowly thrusting into him.

Somehow, drawing Blaine in nothing but underwear turned to drawing him as he slowly lowered them inch by inch off his hips until he was drawing him as he sat on the couch with his knees to his chest with his arms around his legs, ankles crossed, and chin resting on his knees completely naked. Blaine's grin as he sat there, a mere feet from him, was mischievous and tempting and filled with enjoyment at what he was doing.

"Are you enjoying your subject?" he had asked as he dropped his knees and leaned back on his hands.

Kurt immediately stopped working on the picture he was drawing, dropping the paper to the floor, and went to work on a clean, white one piece of paper. Sketching and drawing Blaine's naked form was something he had never considered doing. But as he sat there and drew him, he couldn't figure out why he never thought of it.

Yeah, he didn't draw for four years and having the thought would have been just that...a thought-in many ways. But having him naked in front of him made him realize how much he didn't know he needed this.

"I'm enjoying my subject very much," he replied with a sly smile. He watched as Blaine laid back and stretched his body, arching his back the slightest and perfectly showing off every inch of him. "Although," he added. "I don't enjoy him moving so much."

Blaine turned his head and grinned at him. "Maybe someone should come over here and give me a reason to stay still," Blaine slyly said, parting his thighs and chewing his lower lip and releasing it a bit redder.

Kurt didn't pass up the opportunity Blaine presented to him.

"I'm close, Kurt," Blaine pants into his ear as he drags his teeth along Blaine's neck, nipping where he feels the pulse point beneath his lips and making Blaine whimper.

Kurt takes that as meaning to go faster. Thrusting in hard, grinding his hips and making Blaine throw his head back in a cry of pleasure, he can tell he's close. The way his hands look for purchase on his back; fingers scratching and marking make Kurt moan at how the slight pain mixes with his pleasure.

Taking Blaine in hand and starting to stroke him, Kurt almost instantly feels him spilling over his fist. The sensation of having Blaine contracting around him has Kurt thrusting hard twice more before coming. He shudders as pleasure spreads through his body and makes him feel absolutely incredible.

Pulling out and collapsing to the side of Blaine, catching his breath and waiting for his heart to slow, Kurt starts to laugh.

"What's funny?" Blaine asks as he turns on his side and props his arm up and rests his head in his hand, smiling down at Kurt.

"I think in the art world, the artist fucking his subject is so cliché and hilarious. But now I'm part of that stereotype of who's done it."

"Some of the greatest artists ever slept with their subjects and created masterpieces," Blaine points out with a grin. "So, I'm just helping you along to creating your masterpiece."

"Well, if you want to look at it that way." Kurt picks his head up and laughs into the kiss he gives Blaine. "I'm gonna go take a shower."

"Okay."

After his shower, he stands in the middle of the kitchen as Blaine takes a shower, trying to decide what to eat for dinner. Kurt grabs his phone from his pocket when it starts to ring. Seeing the name on the screen, he knows it's inevitable that he will talk to him. He knows he can only go so long with avoiding him.

Hitting talk, he brings the phone up to his ear. "Hello."

"Hey," Zac replies with a smooth voice. "Where've you been? I've called like dozens of times; I felt like a creeper."

Kurt laughs at that. "I've been busy," he replies.

"I've missed you," Zac longingly says.

Letting out a deep breath, Kurt doesn't want to hear that. "Why'd you call?" he asks to change the subject.

"I just said I miss you. I think that should be answer enough for you."

"I can't," Kurt replies, knowing this is the start of the conversation that he's been needing to have for a few weeks.

"Why?"

Closing his eyes for a few seconds and thinking, he figures it's best to tell Zac the truth about him and Blaine. "He changed his mind," he says, knowing Zac will understand.

"Really!" Zac replies with shock in his voice. "How long have you two..."

"A month and a half," Kurt answers the unfinished question.

"Did you..."

"Yes. Although, I don't understand why that concerns you?"

"Just wanted to know," Zac responds with a hint of jealousy to his voice. "What changed? Why is he suddenly allowing this?"

Kurt thinks over that question, not knowing how to answer. He doesn't know Blaine's reasons for finally deciding to be with him; why now? It makes him curious as to what changed Blaine's mind.

"I don't know," he truthfully replies.

"I shouldn't be jealous of a guy I don't know," Zac sighs. "But I am."

"Zac," Kurt huffs. He's known for some time that Zac had fallen for him; could tell in the way he looked at him, or the hints he would drop about maybe trying to date. But Kurt always ignored them, not wanting more than what they were doing. It's sitting there that he realizes he should have something before now. "I don't think we should do this anymore. It's run its course."

"Yeah...Guess I should have seen that coming."

Kurt sits there in the silence for a few heartbeats, thinking Zac may have hung up. But the sound of Zac breathing can still being heard on the other end of the line.

"You're in love with him, aren't you?"

"Yes," Kurt responds without having to think about the answer.

"Does he know?"

"No."

"Does he love you?"

"I don't know…I don't think so," Kurt replies with sorrowfulness to his voice.

"Well," Zac sighs. "Guess this is it. Bye, Kurt."

"Bye." Kurt hangs up the phone, somewhat surprised with how well Zac took everything. He thought he would hear more anger or something.

Looking at his phone for a second, he sets it down on the counter and walks to the fridge.

"Who were you talking to?" Blaine asks him as he grabs a bottle of water.

Kurt shuts the fridge door and walks up to Blaine and drapes his arms over his shoulders, giving him a deep and sensual kiss. "No one important, anymore," he says when he pulls away.

* * *

"Blaine?" he quietly whispers later that night as they lie in bed.

Having been watching Blaine sleep for about fifteen minutes, and thinking about what Zac said earlier while he was doing that, he has to know. Blaine needs to tell him what it is that changed his mind about all of this.

"Blaine!" he calls again, a bit louder this time, noticing Blaine stirring awake.

"Kurt, wh-...what's wrong?" Blaine mumbles, blinking his eyes open.

"Nothing. I just...I was curious about something."

"About what?" Blaine asks around a yawn.

"What changed your mind? Why do something now about being with me?" Kurt watches Blaine rub his hands over his face as he considers the question.

"Kurt," Blaine breathes out. "If I wasn't so fucking stupid, I would have gone up to your room with you that night, four years ago. I have replayed that moment over a million times in my head, and I say yes and don't walk away."

"Why were you _'so fucking stupid?'_" Kurt asks, using Blaine's choice of words.

Blaine turns on his side and faces Kurt. "You want to know the real reason I never did anything?"

Kurt nods his head.

"My parents. I saw how they were to you after you came out to them. They treated you like some plague that had come in and started deconstructing this perfect picture they managed to create of their lives."

"And you didn't...don't want that happening to you?" Kurt quietly asks, a bit heartbroken at Blaine choosing to hide instead of being with him outside of the bedroom. It explains why he's with Kennedy; it's easier to hide when it looks like you're happily in a relationship with someone.

"I'm terrified of telling them and being treated the same."

"I'll still be there for you like you were for me," Kurt assures him. "And I'm pretty sure Tilly will support you."

"I know," Blaine sighs. "But I can't have them disappointed in me."

Kurt doesn't say anything; tries to ignore the ache in his chest. Resting his head on Blaine's shoulder, he wishes things were easier. Wishes Blaine understood that he would be there for him afterwards no matter what would happen. He wishes he could tell Blaine that sometimes it takes being hurt by the people you love to know how you truly feel about them. He would tell him that even though he hurt him, he has loved him every day since he realized it, and that he will be there for him in any way he would need him if he were to tell his parents.

"You know the other reason I was scared to do anything?"

"What?" Kurt murmurs against Blaine's shoulder, voice strained as he tries not to cry.

"You're my best friend. I didn't want to start something and have it go bad and end up losing my best friend."

"Yeah, you're right." Kurt lifts his head and pushes the strands of hair falling across Blaine's forehead back. "So, let's hope this doesn't go bad because I don't want to lose you." Even though he says it, deep down, Kurt knows somewhere something bad is going to happen. Someone will find out and force them apart, or he can see himself pushing Blaine away because he can't see him being with Kennedy and force him away even though he loves so much.

But until then, he'll cherish what they have right now.

"Oh, Kurt?"

He snuggles into Blaine's side with his head resting on his shoulder; tangling their legs together, Kurt is slowly being lulled to sleep by Blaine ghosting his fingers up and down his spine.

"Hmm?" he replies, deciding to focus on how happy and relaxed he is because of the orgasm he had.

"While you were taking a shower earlier, Kennedy called."

"So, what is the reason I should know this?"

"She asked me if we could have lunch together tomorrow."

"What did you say?"

"I told her I ask you, to see if you would like to. So...Would you like to?"

Having lunch with Kennedy won't be so bad, and something he wouldn't mind doing. "Okay," he answers.

* * *

He sits across from Blaine and Kennedy as they finish their lunch. Sitting outside on the small deck the restaurant has, Kurt actually found himself really enjoying hanging out with Kennedy. She was funny and he found himself laughing more than he thought he would. He had fun. But having fun didn't stop him from remember what Blaine and he are doing behind her back.

Guilt, he realizes, is something that doesn't sit well with him.

At various moments of the lunch, he wants to just blurt out he's sorry; that he couldn't help himself. He wants to blurt that he's wanted this for years and didn't care about hurting her to get what he pined for. He wants to say that he would do it again if he could go back and make the decision again, because he wants-and will always want-Blaine.

But he doesn't. He bites his tongue and continues to enjoy his lunch.

"I'll be back in a second," Blaine announces as he pushes his chair out and stands up.

Being left alone at the table with Kennedy, pushing around the pasta still on his plate, Kurt is unsure of what to stay. He can't be alone with her knowing he's fucking her boyfriend. All he can see is him and Blaine having sex in the shower before they came here, and he's afraid if he opens his mouth to start talking to her he'll blurt out how great Blaine is in bed.

"So, Kurt," she says with a bright smile. "Blaine told me you started drawing again."

"Yeah." He nods his head.

"That's great!" Kennedy happily exclaims. "Can I see some of your work sometime?"

"Do you have a pen?"

"What?" Kennedy asks slightly confused.

"A pen. Do you have one?" Kurt repeats. He watches her pick up her purse and rummage around, holding out a black pen for him. Taking it and thanking her, he grabs his untouched napkin and begins to sketch. "For some reason, I suddenly had the urge to have a drawing utensil in my hands," he goes about explaining as he draws, often glancing up. "I sat down and started drawing after all this time."

"What made you want to draw again?"

Kurt thinks about the question, trying to find a way to answer without saying that being with Blaine has sparked that side in him again. "I guess you could say a door that was once closed opened," he says as way of an easy explanation.

"It's a good thing that door opened, then," Kennedy replies.

Kurt looks up and sees Blaine walking back, staring at him the whole time it takes for him to reach the table, blushing when Blaine winks at him. But he looks away when Blaine kisses Kennedy's cheek and sits down.

"Kurt, what are doing?" Blaine curiously asks.

"Give me five minutes and you'll see." He keeps his focus on the napkin as he answers. Dropping the pen on top of the napkin and sliding it over to Kennedy, he hears her gasp. Grabbing his coke, he takes a drink as she shows Blaine the portrait he just did of her.

Pleased with himself when Blaine compliments his work, Kurt takes a bite of his pasta.

Feeling the breeze blow and cool him down some from sitting outside, he groans in frustration when he sees Zac walking towards them on the sidewalk. He prays he just keeps walking and he doesn't see him.

"Hey, Kurt," Zac says when he spots him. Kurt groans, already knowing this is gonna be weird.

"Hey, Zac," he mumbles.

"Surprised to see you here." Kurt sees Zac look at Kennedy and Blaine and notices him instantly recognize who Blaine is. "You must be Blaine," Zac says as he grins in a way that has Kurt worried. "Kurt's told me...a lot about you. And who might you be?" he asks Kennedy.

"I'm Kennedy," she responds. "Blaine's girlfriend."

"Girlfriend," Zac repeats. "Kurt's told me a little about you. Now I have a name and a beautiful face to what he said."

Kurt notices Kennedy blush at the compliment, and seeing Blaine fuming with anger. He figures he doesn't like Zac flirting with Kennedy.

"Kurt, is this your boyfriend?" Kennedy asks as he looks away from Blaine.

"No," he firmly states.

"Kurt doesn't do boyfriends," Zac tells her as he takes the empty seat next to Kurt. "Right, Kurt?" Zac looks at him in a way that says he's gonna make this miserable for him.

He knew when he hung up with him the day before that Zac was too calm about the whole thing.

"Yeah," he honestly replies, nodding his head. "He was just a fuck buddy I kept around for when I needed someone to do." He figures two can play this game. "He's easy if you have a gay friend looking to get laid."

"He's lying," Zac retorts, voice laced with anger.

"I was fucking him twenty minutes after we first met. He practically begs for me to come over when I'm in town. But not anymore."

"And why is that, Kurt?" Zac asks as if he doesn't know, darting his eyes to Blaine real quick and grinning at him.

Kurt sees how hard Blaine is holding back from saying something right at that moment. "I didn't want him anymore," he snidely replies.

"No. No, I don't think that's it." Zac shakes his head. "I remember you telling me you were fucking somebody else now. Who was it?" he asks, tapping his finger to his chin as if trying to remember. At that moment fear runs through Kurt at thinking Zac might actually reveal to Kennedy what's been going on. "Damn, I can't remember. He quickly moves from one guy to the next, who can keep them...straight." Kurt sees him wink at Blaine at the terrible remark, thinking he's being funny.

"Fuck you!" Kurt curses, feeling anger boiling up in him.

"You already did," Zac retorts with a small laugh. "Remember?"

"Blaine, I think we should give them some privacy." Kurt hears Kennedy say.

"No," Kurt butts in and says. "Zac was just leaving for good." He stands up and angrily looks down at Zac who has a satisfied smile on his face.

"But we should be celebrating," Zac says as he stands up.

"Celebrating what?" Kurt furiously asks.

"Kennedy and Blaine being in love," Zac excitedly exclaims. "It's written all over their faces."

Kurt's heart seizes at those words, knowing Zac is saying that to get him riled up and angry, and succeeding. It hurts to hear, but Kurt won't let Zac get to him. "Just fucking leave already," Kurt snarls.

"But I haven't revealed the best news we should be celebrating."

"What's that?" Kennedy innocently asks.

"If he hasn't told you yet, Kurt here got his cherry popped." Zac grabs at Kurt's ass, squeezing it and grinning at Kennedy and Blaine. Kurt shoves him away. He sees Blaine almost get out of his chair before realizing what he's doing. He looks at Zac when he says in a serious tone, "I think we should celebrate you finally bending over for someone like the little whore you are."

At that, Kurt does hear Blaine jump up, knocking over his chair. He notices Kennedy look to him in confusion, not understanding why Blaine stood up in anger like he did. Instead of saying anything, Kurt takes a swing at Zac. His fist perfectly connects with Zac's jaw and he sees him fall to the ground. Kicking him in the stomach for good measure, Kurt walks away, needing to get out of there as quick as possible. He hears people talking and looking at him in shock. But he doesn't care; doesn't care about the comments and looks. It felt great to punch Zac, and he would happily do it again.

"Enjoy being in love with someone who's in love with someone else," Zac comes up to him and snidely says into his ear, walking past him.

Kurt stops and fights to hold back his tears, not wanting to cry. Zac doesn't deserve his tears, and he's not going to give them to him. He looks at Zac as he walks away, rubbing his hand over his jaw where his fist connected. Kurt smiles at knowing he caused him pain.

"I'll pay, you guys wait for me by the car," he hears Blaine tell Kennedy.

Grabbing a stick of gum him from his jeans, Kurt stands there as Kennedy stands next to him.

"So, Kurt," Kennedy quietly says as they start to walk again. "That was interesting."

"Sorry about that," he apologizes, tossing the wrapper to the ground.

"It's fine." Kennedy smiles. "Are you okay?"

"Yeah, my hand should be fine; just a little bruised." Kurt looks at his hand and sees his knuckles red and a tad bit swollen already.

"No," Kennedy says as she shakes her head. "Are you okay?"

Kurt smiles at how genuinely worried Kennedy sounds about him. "Yeah, I'm fine," Kurt answers. "I've heard worse."

"You sure?"

"Yeah." Kurt nods his head, giving her a small smile.

Seeing Blaine walking towards them, he stands there as he takes Kennedy hand and walks her to her car. Not paying them any attention, he looks to his hand. Flexing it and wiggling his fingers, he feels pain shoot up his arm; he knows he'll have ice it for a few hours later. Dropping his arm, he sees Blaine walking back to him with tense shoulders and frustration and anger evident in his eyes. Kurt really hopes his mood passes soon.

"Come on," Blaine says with anger barely lacing his voice. "Let's go."

* * *

He can feel the tension between Blaine and himself as they drive back to the apartment. It makes him uncomfortable and unsure what to say. He knows it's because of what happened with Zac, and some of the things he said and did.

Walking into the apartment following Blaine, hearing the alarm going off, Kurt sees as Blaine shrugs out of jacket and tosses it to the floor. The ringing of the alarm loud in his ears.

"Can you please disarm this already? It's fucking annoying and loud," Kurt says over the sound, moving to sit on the couch.

Staring as Blaine punches in the six digit code to turn off the alarm, he slightly jumps when the phone rings. In the few days since they've been here, there has been no reason for the phone to ring. The only person who knows they're gone is Tilly, and Kurt knows she is smart enough to easily reach him on his cell. Staying there as Blaine goes over to answer the phone, he wonders who it could be.

"No, this is his son, Blaine Anderson," he hears Blaine say to whomever he's speaking to. "Fine! Call him and have him confirm it to you." Kurt hears the slam of the phone down on the kitchen island, knowing Blaine is still mad about earlier.

Standing up and going over to him, he leans back against the counter and knows there's no avoiding talking about this. "I know you want to ask me something. Ask me." He wants to know what is pissing Blaine off so much about what happened.

Blaine drops his head and grips the edge of the island, voice coming out slightly rough when he asks, "How does he know about me?"

It's then that it hits him that Blaine isn't mad about Zac maybe flirting with Kennedy, like he thought. Blaine is mad because he talked about him to someone else.

"I told him," Kurt truthfully answers. "I would tell him about you and everything that would and wouldn't happen between us."

"So, I was your fucking pillow talk?"

"No, Blaine! I needed someone to talk to when you fucking weren't there; and he was." Kurt can feel the anger growing as he stands there. Feeling pain flare up in his hand, he walks to the medicine cabinet and grab the pain pills, popping two into his mouth after he manages to get the cap twisted off. He looks back to Blaine with frustration and anger. "Don't act like you don't do the same with Kennedy!"

"It's different," Blaine says with a hint of guilt at realizing he did what Kurt accuses him of.

"How so? Because I fucked the person I talked to about you? Don't be mad at me because of that!"

Right when he sees Blaine about to answer, he hears Blaine's cell phone go off. Staying where he is, he watches Blaine pull his phone from his pocket and answer it.

"Hi, Dad," he says in way of a greeting. Kurt can barely make out John's voice on the phone; thinking he might be mad about Blaine being at the apartment. "Yes, I'm here for a few days. No," Blaine says with an edge to his voice, shaking his head. "I'm by myself."

Kurt looks into Blaine's eyes after he says that, feeling his heart break at being a secret kept from almost everybody. Breaking Blaine's gaze, not wanting him to see how upset he is, he turns and starts to walk away.

All he wants, all he could ever ask for, is to be with Blaine as more than just what they are at the moment. He wants to be able to say that he is Blaine's, and that Blaine is his. He wants to hold his hand around people without them questioning why they're holding hands; he wants to kiss him in public without worry of someone recognizing them and saying something. He wants a relationship with Blaine, and it's slowly starting to sink in that he might never get that.

Fingers wrapping around his wrist turn him around. Before he can say anything, Kurt feels Blaine crashing his mouth to his in a hungry and passionate kiss. He knows this kiss an apology from Blaine for how he acted today after lunch; and for having to lie about what's going on between them.

"I'm not mad at you, Kurt," Blaine says through his heavy breathing when he pulls away. "I'm mad at myself. I hate that I had to sit there and not do anything when he was treating you like that. I hate that I can't be strong enough to forget my parent's reactions and choose to be brave enough to be out." Blaine weakly smiles at him, pushing a strand of his hair back. "So, I don't hate you, Kurt. I hate how weak I am."

Just when he thought he was angry at Blaine for how he was acting, Kurt feels all that disappear in an instant at Blaine's words. Closing his eyes and resting his forehead to Blaine's, he calmly breathes a few seconds before saying anything. "You're not weak, Blaine," Kurt whispers, feeling Blaine wrap his arms around his waist. "You're just...stuck in a situation that you don't know how to get out of."

"Stuck," Blaine repeats with a small chuckle. "That seems about right."

"Eventually, you'll find a way out; whichever way you choose to go." Kurt doesn't add that he prays that Blaine chooses to go in the direction that has them being together. But he knows Blaine has to make this choice; this has to be a choice all his own. "But for now," he says as he stares into Blaine's eyes. "Let's enjoy our time together."

"Alright." Blaine gives him a sweet and gentle kiss.

Taking Blaine's hand in his, linking their fingers together, Kurt leads them upstairs.

* * *

"Are you truly in love with her?" Kurt lies on top of Blaine, his legs still straddling his hips as he rests his chin on his fists and stares into Blaine's luminous eyes.

It's a loaded question he's unsure of if he wants the answer. Fear seeps into his bones at the thought of hearing Blaine say that "yes, I really love her." Of possibly knowing that he lost a long time ago for Blaine's heart. But he still has to know; has to be prepared for when Blaine might pick her over him because he's in love with her.

"I...I don't know." Blaine holds him and moves them to lie on their sides. "I care for her deeply, it's just that..." he trails off, not finishing his sentence.

Kurt weakly smiles when he gazes into his eyes. In Blaine's eyes, he sees what he thinks Tilly is talking about. He sees love. But, he isn't sure if it's true or if it's something he so desperately wants to see that he's imagining it.

Lying on his back and sighing, he already starts to feel the ache where he's losing the one person he loves most.

"Kurt?" Blaine's voice sounding like it's farther away than it really is.

"Yeah?"

"I...I-I care for you deeply, too." Kurt feels a shiver run through him when Blaine says that. He'll take that and hold onto it like a breath of fresh air after drowning for so long. Because that is better than nothing.

Reaching up and running his thumb along Blaine's plump, bottom lip, Kurt leans over and captures his mouth in a deep sensual and passionate kiss.

Pulling him on top of him, he doesn't have to say anything to have Blaine reaching for a condom.

Tipping his head back and moaning when Blaine pushes into him, he forgets he's in love with his best friend who he fears might not feel the same about him, and instead chooses to focus on the here and now of what they're doing.

* * *

He watches him sleep. Long, lean, beautiful body not covered; everything on display for him to marvel over. His skin pale and soft to the touch illuminated by the blue, grayish glow of the moon. He skims his fingers up his back, stopping at Kurt's tattoo and tracing it with his forefinger. He travels his fingers up Kurt's arm and stops, grabbing his hurt hand and lifting it, he gently presses his lips to the abused skin, wishing it was him who got to punch that asshole.

Watching Kurt slightly stir before going back to sleep, a small smile on his lips, Blaine thinks about how he got here. Here not being naked in bed with Kurt. But here being in love with him.

He's known he was in love with him since he was fifteen and watched Kurt on the tire-swing looking carefree and happy with his head thrown back as he laughed at some joke he had told him. That image is burned into his memory, and anytime he thinks about it, he feels his heart beat faster; just like now. For six years, he's known he has been in love with his best friend.

He wishes he could tell him. Wishes he could say the words he's felt for a very long time.

But he can't.

He won't.

Not when it seems this whole thing for Kurt is about sex and nothing more. Yeah, there are times when he thinks he sees something in Kurt's eyes that might be love, but he chokes it up to wishful hoping. So, he'll hold back from saying he loves him; from making a complete fool of himself to a person who might just want nothing more than what they're doing right now.


	12. Chapter 12

**This is a short chapter. There is a John point of view that is there for a reason. Enjoy. **

**I also want to say thank you to everybody reading and leaving lovely reviews; they are great to receive.**

* * *

Twirling the pencil between his fingers, Kurt rubs the pad of his fingertip over the lead on the paper to blend in and create shade. Bringing the pencil back to the paper, he goes about finishing the drawing.

"What are you gonna do with your drawings?" Blaine asks as he stops at a light.

They left the apartment about twenty minutes before; heading back to the house, Kurt is a bit upset that his time with Blaine like they've shared the past few days is over. The bubble they created that kept reality out for a time has finally popped and they have to go back to their lives of waiting for the night to come.

"I don't know." Kurt shrugs his shoulders, chewing his gum. "Probably throw them away, or something."

For some reason, Kurt doesn't know why he lies. He's going to keep them. It's the fact that they're the first drawings he's done in four years, and that they're pictures of Blaine. They're special to him in many ways.

"You should keep them," Blaine tells him in a soft voice. "Have something to remember our time together from these past few days."

Kurt lets out a small chuckle as he thinks about how needing the drawings won't be needed to remember the past few days. The past few days will be burned into his memory for as long as he lives. The way he and Blaine easily fell into the little world they created while together; how they were the couple that Kurt wishes with all his heart they could be outside that apartment. He'll remember how he fell that much more for Blaine.

"Maybe I will," he replies as he blows off the shavings on the paper. Looking at the completed picture, he shows it to Blaine.

"She's gonna love it," he tells him.

"She's just like you. She loves all my drawings."

"That's because all your drawings are amazing."

Kurt preens at the compliment; loving when someone, even Blaine, tells him how great of an artist he is. Sometimes, it's Blaine's simple words of praise that make him feel great about what he does.

Reaching across the center console, he takes Blaine's hand in his, linking their fingers together, and holds his hand for the rest of the drive.

Climbing out of the car when Blaine parks in front of the house, chewing his gum and smiling at Blaine as they walk inside the house, Kurt is anxious to see Tilly. A jolt runs through him and has him tremble, though, when Blaine brushes his fingers along his palm in such a way that makes his heart skip a beat. The smile Blaine gives him, the kind that makes his eyes fill with happiness and life and laughter and love, even if it's nothing more than a simply love for a friend, has Kurt wanting to kiss him until the sun burns out and the sky fills with darkness, and there's nothing more than his unconditional love for Blaine.

But, as usual, just as he's come to do a hundred times, he suppresses that urge to tell Blaine how he feels and simply moves his hand away.

Heading for the kitchen once inside, not noticing Blaine's look of hurt on his face as he walks up the stairs, Kurt goes up to Tilly and hugs her.

"Oh, you're back!" Tilly excitedly says, turning around in his arms and pulling him tight into her embrace. "I missed the both of ya so much."

"Till, we were gone for less than a week. Besides, I'm sure you enjoyed the peace and quiet."

"I enjoy having Blaine and you here more." She finally lets him go; looking him up and down as if making sure he isn't hurt, smiling when she finds him to her liking. "Was it fun? Did you enjoy yourself?"

"Oh, I enjoyed myself immensely," Kurt jokes, quickly moving out of the way when Tilly tries to smack him upside his head. "Come on! You knew I would make a joke." Kurt snorts as Tilly smiles. "But in all seriousness? I had a magnificent time."

"I'm happy for you. You both deserved a few days just for each other."

"Yeah," Kurt agrees, thinking about the days with Blaine. "Till, can I tell you something?"

"Of course you can."

He looks around to make sure there is no one else around to hear what he is about to tell her. "I'm scared," he openly admits, letting the fear take over him. "What happens when someone finds out? What happens if this ends badly and I'm left with a broken heart and he's off with Kennedy being happy like nothing happened? Being with him these past days made me realize I want what we had for the rest of my life. I want...him."

"I keep telling you to tell him how you feel," Tilly sighs. "Tell him and you can have that."

"What's the point? He doesn't feel the same." Kurt lifts his hand and runs his fingers through his hair. He flinches a little, though, when Tilly grabs his hand and lifts it to her face. The concern that instantly fills her eyes as she looks at his bruised hand has Kurt smiling at how she's never stopped being a mom.

"What the hell happened to your hand?" she asks as she barely grazes her fingers over the skin.

"I punched Zac," Kurt responds, pulling his hand away.

"Who's Zac?"

"A nobody now."

"He better be if he made you punch him. Hope it was worth it." Tilly looks up at him and grins.

"It was. Oh," Kurt says before he walks away. He leafs through his papers and pulls one out. "I drew this for you," he tells Tilly as he holds out the picture of her he did.

The look of surprise that fills Tilly's eyes makes Kurt smile. "Kurt!" she excitedly yells, pulling him into a tight embrace. "You're drawing again!"

"Yeah." He shakes his head and feels as Tilly takes the picture from his fingers. "I'm drawing again."

"Good for you," Tilly says as she gently pats his check before looking at her drawing. "It's beautiful. I'll treasure it forever."

"Thanks." Kurt gives her a kiss on her cheek. "I'm gonna go lie down a bit before lunch."

"Alright."

Heading out of the kitchen and trudging up the stairs to his room, Kurt can, finally, feel the past few days creeping into his body and making him exhausted. Closing his bedroom door behind him, Kurt lets out a squeak when Blaine, suddenly, pulls him close and kisses him.

Melting into his touch, he drops his pictures, hearing them scatter all to the floor. Draping his arms over Blaine's shoulders, he lets himself get lost in the press of Blaine's lips to his for a few seconds. He lets himself take in the way Blaine holds him close with one of his hands pressing in to his lower back; lets himself cherish how perfectly they fit together in a way he's never fit with anybody else.

"What was that for? Not that I'm complaining," Kurt says as he drops his arms from Blaine's shoulders and grabs at his hips.

"I felt like kissing you; and since my parents aren't back just yet, I decided to."

"Well, I greatly enjoyed it. Now, I'm gonna take a nap before lunch." Giving Blaine a quick peck on the lips, he lets him go and walks to his bed. Collapsing on it, he chuckles when Blaine climbs in next to him and pulls him close. "What are you doing, Blaine?" he mumbles against his pillow, turning to look at Blaine.

"Holding you until you fall asleep," Blaine responds like it's the most obvious answer, pressing his lips to Kurt's temple.

Too tired to complain, and not really wanting or caring to, Kurt just snuggles closer to him and drifts off to sleep.

* * *

Sitting at the table for dinner after his nap, Kurt pushes around the food on his plate. Poking the piece of fish he has, he looks up and gives Blaine a small smile.

"How was your trip, mom?" Blaine asks after he smiles back at him.

"Good," Sarah replies. "Your father and I had a great time. Right, honey?" Kurt looks over to see John typing on his phone, a small grin on his face. Kurt knows it doesn't take a genius to know he's talking with Avery; he rolls his eyes at how disrespectful it is of him to talk with his mistress right in front of his wife. But, he can't say anything because he sort of did the same when he had lunch with Kennedy while Blaine sat across from him. "Well, I enjoyed it," Sarah says, forcing a smile. "How about you, sweetie?"

"I...Well," Blaine says a bit flustered, darting his eyes to him, Kurt seeing the slight mischievous look that fills them. "I...I did things I enjoyed."

"Like what?" Sarah asks intrigued.

"Um...I...There was...A-"

"Well," Kurt says, helping Blaine by interrupting him. "I don't know about y'all, but I had sex." He smirks when both Sarah and John groan at his words, noticing Blaine trying to cover up his laughter. "I'm talking mind-blowing, earth-shattering, every surface we could do it on kind of sex. Basically, we fucked like rabbits. It was quite amazing and spectacular."

"Kurt, please don't speak like that at the table," John reprimands him after setting his phone face down on the table.

"I just thought since everyone was sharing what they did, I should too." Kurt grins at John. "It's not my fault...Okay, it's half my fault," Kurt shrugs his shoulders, "that I had sex most of the time."

"We don't care to hear about your escapades, okay?" John tells him.

"Fine."

"Good. Now that we are finished with that. Sarah," John says to get his wife's attention. "I'll be going out for a few hours after lunch."

"Okay," she replies; Kurt seeing her plaster on a fake smile.

Looking to Blaine, he sees the same knowledge in his eyes as Sarah's; the same he has. They all know where John truly is going.

* * *

John prides himself on being able to hide his relationship with Avery away from his wife. At least so he thinks. He knows his wife is a very intelligent woman; it was one of the many things that had him initially falling for her-besides her obvious beauty. Knowing how smart she is has him often wondering if maybe if he isn't as slick as he thinks he is in hiding his relationship.

Ridding his mind of those thoughts, he climbs out of bed, careful not to disturb Avery and grabs a robe tossed over the back of one of the chairs. Feeling the soft silk slide over his skin, he ties the belt around his waist. Going downstairs and pouring himself a Scotch, he heads back upstairs with his glass. Seeing Avery stir in bed, John walks out to the balcony to enjoy his drink. Sitting in one of the chairs, the glint of the light hitting something catches his eye.

Reaching out and picking it up, John knows he's seen it before but can't remember where. Turning it over in his hand, he opens it and flicks the switch, seeing a small flame shoot up. Closing the Zippo lighter, he holds onto it. The fact that it's here is weird. He knows for sure it doesn't belong to Blaine, since he is the only other person he knows who was here recently; he is still trying to figure how Blaine found out about this place and what all he knows about why he has it. He figures it belongs to one of the maids who come to clean the apartment once a week.

Finishing his Scotch, he stands up and goes back inside. Getting dressed, he puts the lighter in the pocket of his pants and walks over to the bed. Watching the slow rise and fall of Avery's chest, hearing the even breathing, John knows with all his heart he is in love with Avery. But he also knows he could never hurt Sarah the way he would if he were to tell her the truth. Because this truth is much more than what he shares with Avery; this truth could change everything.

Leaning over on his hands, he kisses Avery's temple as he whispers, "I'll see you later."

"Okay," Avery says with a slightly hoarse voice. "Bye."

Smiling at seeing Avery immediately going back to sleep, John heads downstairs and out the apartment, and back to the family he has. Placing his hand in his pocket and wrapping his fingers around the lighter, the metal cool in his hand, he doesn't know why he took it with him. As he walks, it's with a bit of a bounce in his step as he heads for the elevator. Being with Avery always manages to do that for him.

Hearing the ding of the elevator and seeing the doors open, he buttons his jacket as he steps inside, already thinking about the next day when he can come back here to be with Avery again.

* * *

Moaning as Blaine thrusts into him, Kurt curls his fingers around two of Blaine's fingers of the hand planted on the bed by him. Holding tight, squeezing when Blaine brushes his prostate, Kurt drops his head and rolls his hips back on Blaine. Spreading his knees as far apart as he can, he gasps when Blaine thrust into him hard and his hipbones hit his ass, but managing to fill him up that bit much more.

"Come on, Blaine," he says as he looks over his shoulder to Blaine. "Stop holding back."

The fingers of Blaine's left hand intertwined with his squeeze as Blaine grips his hip with his other hand and starts to thrust into him without abandon.

It's fast and hard and has Kurt arching his back. It's exactly what he wants.

Dropping to his forearms, biting his lower lip to be quiet, Kurt grips the sheets beneath his hands and feels as the heat begins to start in his belly. It's a slow burn that takes it's time to build up to having him on edge and wanting his release.

Feeling both of Blaine's hands grip his hips, Kurt nearly screams when Blaine changes the angle of his hips as he thrust in and hits his prostate perfectly. It sends intense pleasure all through him; has the heat in his body turning into a fire. Reaching down, he takes himself in hand and starts to stroke himself as he likes. He's soon spilling over his fist and experiencing pleasure throughout his body.

Turning his head, he moans into the hard kiss Blaine gives him as he continues to thrust into him. Whining low into Blaine's mouth when he feels him stutter his hips and pulse inside him as he comes.

Laughing after he comes down from his high, Kurt looks to Blaine when he collapses on the bed next to him in a heap of breathlessness and his own quiet laughter.

"I didn't think it was possible to screw your brains out," Blaine pants as he turns his head to smile at him. "Guess I was wrong."

"We need to stop having amazing sex," Kurt breathes out, still trying to calm the erratic beating of his heart. "Because if we don't I'll never want to do anything else."

"That reminds me," Blaine says as he turns onto his side, resting his head on his propped up arm. "What are you going to do now that you're drawing again?"

"What do you mean?" Kurt pushes himself up onto his elbows, looking at Blaine confused.

"Well, since you're drawing again, you should do something with it. Go to an art school or something."

"An art school?" Kurt furrows his eyebrows and scrunches his face in disgust, shaking his head. "And let them tell me what all is wrong with my work? No, thanks. I'd rather sit on the corner of a sidewalk and draw for people who would appreciate it."

"So, no to school." Blaine smiles and runs his hand up and down Kurt's back. "How about something else."

"I don't know," Kurt sighs. "I never imagined, or gave much thought, to doing anything with what I can do." It's a complete lie. He's thought about it more than he should, considering it's a dream he's had since he was younger.

He's imagined having a big gallery opening one day of his work. He wants to create pieces of art that someone will look at and think it's magnificent and beautiful. He wants to be someone known in the art community. But for now, he'll take doing sketches for his own pleasure, even if that is all that comes of his art career.

"I should go." Leaning over, he gives Blaine one final kiss. Sitting up on the edge of the bed, he reaches for his underwear on the floor and slides them on. Grabbing Blaine's discarded shirt on the floor, he cleans his stomach and tosses it in the direction of the laundry bin.

Standing up, looking back at Blaine and smiling, he walks out of Blaine's room and to his. Getting an urge to have a cigarette, he goes to his shelf in his room and grabs one. Seeing if his lighter is there, he grabs his jacket and searches the pockets, coming up empty-handed. Deciding to just forget it, the urge quickly going as it came, Kurt drops the unlit cigarette on the shelf and falls into his bed.

Yawning and burrow under his covers, he goes to sleep without a care or worry in the world. He goes to sleep happy.


	13. Chapter 13

Standing up off his bed when he wakes up, Kurt walks to his bathroom and takes a long, soothing shower. Drying off and pulling on some clothes, he sees the cigarette still sitting on top of his dresser. Remembering he couldn't find his lighter the night before, he decides to go about looking for it.

Picking up the bag with the clothes he took to the apartment, he searches in every single pocket and finds nothing. Running his along the bottom of the bag, he feels for the lighter and finds nothing. Tossing the bag away from him, he starts to look in the drawers of his dresser.

Rummaging around in his top drawer for his lighter, Kurt starts to get worried when he can't find it.

"What are you looking for?" Blaine asks him when he finds him tearing his room apart thirty minutes later.

"My lighter. I can't find it!" Kurt frantically says. "That was my dad's lighter. I need to find it!"

"I'll help you look."

Kurt looks in every corner of his room with no luck. He dumps the contents of all his drawers only to come up empty-handed.

Just thinking about losing it makes him upset. It makes him uneasy.

"When did you realize you lost it?" Blaine asks as he starts to put everything back.

"I left your room last night and had an urge for a cigarette, but when I didn't find my lighter in my jacket I thought nothing of it and just went to sleep." Kurt pats his pockets in case his lighter has magically appeared there. "When I started looking for it this morning I couldn't find it anywhere." Thinking really hard about the last time he had it, he can't remember.

"Maybe Tilly's seen it," Blaine says.

At that, Kurt is jumping up and racing down the stairs to the kitchen. Finding Tilly dicing fruit, he goes up to her.

"Breakfast is ready if you want to sit down," she says as she looks to him. "What's wrong, Kurt?"

"Till, have you seen my lighter? I can't find it anywhere."

"I'm sorry, Kurt, I haven't. I would have given it back if I found it. I know how important it is to you."

Kurt drops his shoulders and releases a frustrated sigh, really hoping it turns up soon.

* * *

Sitting at the table for dinner a few hours later, Kurt pushes his food around on his plate, not interested in eating. In front of him, Blaine gives him a warm and comforting smile that helps a bit.

He knows it might be stupid for anyone else to be upset over a lost Zippo lighter. There are millions of them he can replace it with. But this one holds sentimental value to him. He recalls his dad always having it with him no matter where they went. It wasn't used for smoking. No, it was used mostly out of habit. His dad enjoyed flicking it on and off for hours at a time, even sometimes not realizing he was doing it. That's where he got the habit from; that's why he does it himself. Because it makes him feel like his dad is right there with him.

Now that he's probably lost it has him upset and kicking himself for being so stupid for not taking better care of it.

"Blaine," Sarah starts to say. "Tilly tells me you were looking for something?"

"Not me," Blaine replies, quickly looking to Kurt. "I was helping Kurt look for his lost lighter."

"Oh," Sarah replies, quickly becoming less interested in the subject.

Kurt looks at her and glares, seeing her furrow her brow. The second she found it was something he lost, he can tell, she lost interest.

"I'm going to need to talk to you two after dinner in my office," John informs Blaine and him with a stern voice.

"What for?" Kurt asks, sounding like a person not understanding why they are getting in trouble.

"You'll find out."

Stepping into the office with Blaine forty minutes later, Kurt finds Mr. Anderson sitting behind his desk with a look of anger on his face.

Sitting down in one of the two chairs in front of the desk, Kurt doesn't even want to know what this is about.

"Well, we're here," he says with his voice laced with happiness that is faker than a glass diamond. "Please tell me I won a million dollars."

Kurt hears Blaine's small snicker and just watches as Mr. Anderson opens a drawer and grabs something he can't see. He keeps his eyes on his hand as he slides something towards Blaine and him. When he lifts his hand away Kurt drops his fake smile and feels all the color drain from his face.

Looking at Blaine, he sees him with his eyes open wide and filled with fear. He can see he's breathing a bit heavier than before, obviously scared of what's going to happen now.

Sitting on the desk, what Mr. Anderson slid towards them, sits Kurt's lighter.

He quickly puts the pieces together in his mind. He realizes he must have left it at the apartment he knows John knows Blaine was at. Him finding his lighter is clear enough proof for John to know what was really going on.

"Dad," Blaine starts to say.

"Don't, Blaine!" John barks at him, voice filled with anger. Kurt cowers in on himself and feels his heart hammering in his chest when John's hate filled eyes land on him. "How long?"

"How long have I had the lighter?" Kurt asks in a mocking tone, joking so this is a bit easier for him. "Since I was eight."

"Don't play with me, Kurt!" John loudly yells at him. "How long?"

"Oh," Kurt says as if realizing he understands what John is asking him. "How long have your son and I been fucking?" Kurt looks to Blaine, seeing the shock still in his eyes. "What is it Blaine...about two months now?"

"I want you out of my house immediately! You are no longer part of this family in any way! I don't want you near my son for the rest of his life!"

"Dad!" Blaine yells, standing up. "I wanted it, too. Don't put all the blame on Kurt."

Kurt notices how much that affects John; as if he didn't consider the fact that Blaine wanted to be with him as much as he wanted to be with Blaine. Kurt sees John ignore Blaine's comment and still focus on him.

"I never want to see you around my family again!"

With that, Kurt stands up and grabs his lighter and turns to leave. But before he can walk away, he feels Blaine's hand wrap around his wrist. Kurt doesn't look back at him, can't look at him. If he looks at him right now he'll break, and he doesn't want to give John the privilege of knowing he did that. So, he keeps his sight on the double doors he is about to walk through.

"Dad," Blaine says. "Don't just punish him for what we both wanted!"

"Blaine!" John tells him in a stern voice. "Let him go this instance. Sit down and I'll tell you what is going to happen!"

Pulling his hand away from Blaine, knowing Blaine will not let go on his own, and not having the strength to look at him, Kurt leaves him with his dad who's telling him something he doesn't hear.

Quickly going up to his room, he grabs his duffle bag and starts to pack at a hurried pace. Grabbing clothes and anything else he'll need, he fits everything important to him in the bag. Zipping it up, he sits down on the edge of his bed and takes one last look around the room that's no longer his.

Standing up after a few moments, Kurt places the strap of the bag over his shoulder and walks out of the room. Quickly taking the steps downstairs, he heads to the kitchen to see Tilly before he leaves. Stepping through the door, he finds her standing there as if waiting for him.

"Hey, Till," he tries to say with a happy voice, but failing miserably.

"Oh, Kurt," she says as she pulls him into a hug and squeezing him tightly. "I'm so sorry for what happened."

"It's okay. You can't live in paradise forever." He shrugs his shoulders and weakly smiles. "I just wanted to tell you goodbye."

"Where you going to sleep, Kurt?" Tilly worriedly asks.

"I have my car."

"Nonsense. You can stay with me at my place." Tilly pulls out her keys and begins to take a key off the ring.

"I couldn't put you out like that, Till," Kurt tells her.

"You're not putting me out." She takes the key off and hands it to Kurt. "It'll be good to have some company. My house is too empty now that all my kids are gone."

Kurt feels his heart beat a bit stronger at knowing Tilly loves him that much; that she is willing to take him in. "Thanks, Till," he quietly whispers.

"It's nothing." She smiles at him. "Now go before Mr. Anderson still finds you here."

"I love you, Till." Kurt throws his arms around Tilly and hugs her tightly.

"I love you, too, Kurt."

Letting her go, Kurt gives her a kiss on her cheek and walks out of the kitchen. Heading for the front door, Kurt stops when he sees Blaine walking towards him with tears rolling down his face. He has no idea what Mr. Anderson told him, but getting a look at Blaine, he can tell it's not good.

"...Blaine?" he says to get his attention.

Blaine looks up at him and Kurt sees happiness in his eyes for a few seconds. "Kurt," he quietly says. "I'm so sorry-"

"Hey," Kurt says to interrupt him; he goes up to him and wipes his tears away, trying to be strong for him. "It's not your fault."

"Please...stay!" Blaine quietly begs.

Kurt drops his forehead to Blaine's, taking a deep breath and closing his eyes. "You know I can't." Pulling back and looking into Blaine's red-rimmed ones from crying, he asks, "What did your dad tell you?"

"It doesn't matter," Blaine replies with a trembling voice as he shakes his head. He stares straight into Kurt's eyes and tries to put on a happy smile, but Kurt seeing how forced it is. "Kiss me?"

Kurt nuzzles his nose along Blaine's cheek and whispers into his ear, "You never have to ask me that."

Pressing his lips to Blaine's salty ones, Kurt gives him the kind of kiss he wanted to give him that first night they slept together.

It's a soft press of lips, but Kurt can feel it all the way to his toes; it somehow spreads through him and makes him feel weightless and like he is flying and falling at the same time. Lips gently move and slide together, and the urge to run away with Blaine from all this hits him hard; has him so desperate to take Blaine's hand and take him from this place. He wants to leave all this behind them and simply be together.

Ending the kiss before he can't, he smiles at Blaine and walks away, feeling his hand drop away from his wrist after a few steps. He knows he could tell Blaine how he truly feels about him right now, but he still fears that Blaine doesn't feel the same. Yeah, what happened in John's office gave him a little bit of hope of, maybe, Blaine feeling the same, but he's keeping his lips sealed out of Blaine telling him it wasn't the same for him. Reaching the front door, he sees John standing there glaring at him. Raising his hand, Kurt flicks him off and says with a smile, "I fucked him just like we both desperately wanted."

Heading out the door, hearing it slam behind him, Kurt drops his smile and is overcome with a sadness at having to walk away from Blaine.

Heading to his car, he tosses his bag in the back and sits in the driver's seat. Starting the car, he gets one final look at the house he never really felt at home at and drives away.

* * *

**If everything goes according to plan, there are three chapters left and an epilogue.**


	14. Chapter 14

Tilly loves her job. She might not like or agree with her employers most often...hell, sometimes she wants to smack them upside their heads at how arrogant and stupid they can be. But she loves waking up each morning and getting ready for work.

After her Charles died seven years back, going to work and seeing those two boys everyday was what got her through the rough patches.

Especially Kurt.

He would sit with her and hold her hand and comfort her as unexpected waves of sadness would strike and hit her with loneliness and a longing to have her husband back.

She loves Kurt just like he was one of her own kids. It's why she always tries to be there when he needs her, it just needs help in general. She will protect and love him as long as she lives.

Waking up this morning, she takes a shower and gets dressed. Pulling her hair back in a bun, she heads downstairs to make breakfast for Kurt and her.

Seeing Kurt sitting at the kitchen table earlier than she expected, she goes about making them breakfast.

"You okay, honey?" she asks as she starts to crack some eggs into a frying pan.

"Wh-...Yeah, just couldn't sleep."

"You miss him." She knows how bad it's been for Kurt these past couple of days.

The longing has been apparent in his eyes. She's noticed how he holds tightly to his phone as if waiting for it to ring; and when it does, she sees the brief excitement that fills his eyes quickly leave them when he sees who is calling. It's easy for her to know who he wishes would call, and she held out hope Blaine would. But it's been four days and not a word.

"Yeah." She hears Kurt sigh and start to flick his lighter on and off. "What am I supposed to do, Till?" Kurt looks at her with pleading eyes as he asks her that.

"I told you what you should have done," she tells him as she scrambles the eggs. "You need to tell him how you feel." She sees Kurt shake his head no at her suggestion. "Well, I got nothing else for ya. You want to be stupid, go right on ahead; but don't say I didn't tell ya."

Hearing Kurt's phone go off, she sees the same reaction as before when he silence it, knowing it wasn't who he was hoping it to be.

"Why don't you just call him, yourself?" she asks as spoons some eggs onto Kurt's plate.

"Because _I am_ stupid," Kurt admits, setting his phone facedown on the table. "I can't handle being rejected by him, again."

"I'm pretty positive he wouldn't reject you if you told him the truth." Tilly sits down across from him, watching him eat a forkful of eggs. "Tell him you love him."

"That's easier said than done," Kurt comments as he sets his fork down on his plate.

"A lot of things are easier said than done, but people still find the strength to say them," Tilly tells him. "If they didn't the world would be different place." Standing up, she kisses Kurt's forehead. "I'm going to work. Don't think too much about all the fine print, just enjoy the product."

"What does that mean?" Kurt confusedly asks.

"Exactly what you think," Tilly tells him.

"I should tell him, shouldn't I?" Kurt mumbles.

"Yes," Tilly replies. "Now, I'm going. Bye."

"Bye, Till," Kurt says to her.

Walking away from him, Tilly wonders when these two damn boys will realize that they already have each other if they just learn to say what they feel.

* * *

It's as she sets Blaine's plate of food down in front of him does she hear what John is having Blaine do. Clamping her mouth from saying anything, she looks to Blaine and shakes her head. Walking back into the kitchen, she can already imagine the heartbreak Kurt will be going through at the news.

Cleaning dishes, she hears the soft click of the door behind her, knowing who it is without looking.

"Please, don't hate me, Till," Blaine says with a slightly wavering voice.

"I don't hate you, Blaine." Tilly dries her hands on her apron and turns around to face Blaine. "I'm just tired of seeing you hurt Kurt."

"I wish I didn't," Blaine mumbles.

"Why don't you stand up to your dad? Why don't you fight for who you truly want?"

"I'm terrified," Blaine admits. "I can't have my parents hating me."

"So, you're going to give up Kurt to make your father happy?" Tilly asks confusedly, shaking her head and not believing this is what Blaine is choosing.

"I'm a fucking coward, aren't I?" Blaine rhetorically asks.

"No matter what you are," Tilly tells him in all honesty. "You can still stop all this and fight for who you want."

"God, I...I do want to fight for him," Blaine admits. "I love him, Till."

"Both you boys are too stupid for your own good," Tilly says as she shakes her head.

"What's that mean?"

"It means you two need to learn to really speak to each other."

"Where is he, Till?" Blaine silently asks. "I know you know. Please, tell me."

She looks to him and sees the desperation and hope in his eyes. Knowing she shouldn't tell him; she shouldn't let Kurt endure what Blaine has to tell him. But she also knows it won't be long before Kurt finds out the truth. "He'll...He won't hate you. But he won't like you, Blaine," she quietly says.

"I know that. But...but I need to see him to tell him myself." Blaine looks at her with pleading eyes. "Please, Tilly. Please...Tell me where I can find him."

* * *

Kurt sits on the couch in Tilly's living room watching the dumbest show ever while snacking on Reese's Puffs cereal. Turning it off when someone knocks, he figures he should answer since there's no one else to get it.

Standing up, he walks to the front door.

"Blaine!" he excitedly says when he opens the door, smile spreading wide across his face. Throwing himself into Blaine's embrace and holding him close.

"Hi, Kurt," Blaine manages to say right before Kurt is pulling him inside, kicking the door shut, and kissing him like crazy. "K-Kurt...I have to tell you something."

Kurt undoes Blaine's belt and pants until they hang loose around his hips. "Later," he says, slipping his hands in Blaine's pants and grabbing at his ass. "I missed you."

"I missed you, too."

"I want to feel you inside me right now."

"God, Kurt," Blaine groans, pushing his hips into Kurt's. "I need to tell-"

"Later!" Kurt firmly repeats again. "Please, Blaine, I need to feel you."

Kurt moans when Blaine hungrily kisses him, grabbing under his ass and lifting him up.

* * *

He knows he shouldn't do it. Stop from making it harder when he has to tell him why he's here.

But he needs this.

He needs to remember how it is to truly be himself; truly be happy.

He's not sure how long they spend in that tiny room. Hours pass, the sun slowly fades behind the curtains, noises of children playing disappear with the oncoming dark sky. But all those hours are not enough for him. He needs days, weeks, and months. He needs...years.

He needs to have a forever with Kurt, but he's scared of asking for that and being rejected; learning it was never more than this.

So, he'll take these precious hours. He'll take his name as it falls from Kurt's lips in ecstasy; he'll take kisses all over his body, and burying his fingers in soft, chestnut hair. He'll take what is given, what he can, because he knows it will be the last time.

Watching Kurt as he sleeps, small smile tugging at the corner of his lips, Blaine is tempted to shake him awake and ask him to run away from everything and be with him. The chance of spending forever with the person he loves is so tempting, and right there for him to take, all he needs to do is reach out and take it.

When he was six he accidentally got locked in a dark, empty room. The darkness that surrounded him, swallowed him in a way the terrified him to his core as he sat with his knees to his chest crying for his mom changed him afterwards. It made him terrified of being in the kind of dark that made it impossible to see what was right in front of him.

But he remembers Tilly opening the door and having the light spill in and bring him the comfort and safety he needed.

Right now, he feels like he's locked in that darkness that he can't get out of. It traps and holds him in a way the makes him feel prisoner. But being here right now in this moment with Kurt is that sliver of light that pushes out everything and makes him feel safe and happy. Kurt is his light that makes him feel alive and like himself in a time when he's surrounded by a darkness that has him scared and being someone he is not.

Leaning down, he softly brushes his lips to Kurt's kiss-swollen ones and gently begins to wake him up. The press back of lips has him smiling and running his hand down Kurt's side. Eyes flutter open and he's met with a blue that always reminds him of

"Hi," he gently says.

"Hi," Kurt replies, smile tugging at his lips. "How long was I asleep?"

"About two hours." Leaning forward, he captures Kurt's mouth in a sensual kiss, pushing his hips to Kurt's, moaning when their arousals brush together. "I want you inside me," he desperately says as he kisses at Kurt's neck and throws his leg over Kurt's hip.

"Okay."

Just like before, Blaine isn't sure how much time passes as Kurt and him move together in a perfect rhythm.

The sky gets darker, the moon bright and discernible through the curtains, and an owl hooting outside in a nearby tree is drowned out by their combined moans and whimpers.

He hitches his leg up higher on Kurt's side, bowing and arching his back as Kurt continues to thrust into him. Sparks of pleasure run through his veins and make him shudder; it's good, but not enough. He needs to feel more; feel as Kurt practically claims him for himself and himself alone. He needs Kurt to know that after tomorrow he can look back on this night and know he was his.

"Hard…Harder, Kurt," he pants, feeling Kurt slow his movements, the exact opposite of what he wants. "No," he says, pushing Kurt's hips forward, trying to get the friction back. "Don't stop."

Going when Kurt pushes him onto his back, he lifts his legs high on either side of Kurt, throwing his head back and moaning when Kurt starts to thrust into him with hard snaps of his hips. The headboard bangs loudly against the wall, obvious dents probably being left, and Blaine is enthused that they're alone and won't have to deal with knowing looks in the morning. Reaching up behind him, he plants his hands to the headboard, fingernails curling into the wood, and uses the leverage to work his hips down.

Kurt brackets his hands on either side of Blaine's head and starts to pound into him. Blaine tilts his hips higher trying to get more of Kurt into him. Dropping one arm to Kurt's back, he digs his nails in, half-crescent moon shapes being left in his skin, and scratches down Kurt's back.

All too soon, he feels his body seize up and then snap. Arching his back, he cries out as he comes; as he experiences waves of pleasure that make him feel incredible. It courses through him and tingles under his skin.

Holding Kurt as he kisses him, he feels him stutter his hips and come.

Breathing heavy, Kurt collapsing on top of him and catching his breath, Blaine knows he will not belong to no one else like he belongs to Kurt.

He doesn't say anything after Kurt pulls out of him. Instead, he just lies on his side and stares into Kurt's eyes that shine bright and are filled with happiness. If he had the strength and courage to, even if he thought it wouldn't be said in return, he would tell Kurt how much he loves him. But he keeps his feelings to himself; keeps his heart safe from the ache he could experience. Instead, he presses close to Kurt's body and buries his face in the crook of his neck. Breathing in the smell of Kurt that mixes with the smell of sweat and sex, Blaine knows that this is the moment he could change everything if he wanted to.

But he doesn't.

He closes his eyes and slowly falls asleep being held by Kurt as he listens to his even breathing and feels him softly running his fingers through his curls.

Hearing the ringing of his phone, Blaine jerks awake a few hours later. Sitting up, he carefully slips out of bed so as not to disturb Kurt. Looking for his hastily discarded pants, he finds them and searches for his phone in the pocket. Seeing his father's name on the lit up screen, he knows he has to answer.

Walking outside the room, gently closing the door, he finally hits the answer button. "Hello."

"Blaine," his father says with a bit of relief to his voice. "Where the hell are you? You've got me and your mother sick with worry."

"I have something I needed to take care of." Blaine wraps his arm around himself, already missing the warmth of sleeping next to Kurt.

"And that manages to take all day?"

"Yes."

There's a few moments of silence, Blaine only hearing his father breathing

"This is the last time you're seeing him, Blaine!" his dad orders, easily figuring out where he is. "After that, you're doing as I said at the upcoming party. Do you understand me?"

"Yes, Dad."

"Now, come home this instant!" his father demands.

"No! I'll be back in the morning." Blaine ends the call before his dad has a chance to reply, shutting off his phone, and goes back into the room, finding Kurt still peacefully sleeping. Climbing back in bed and pulling Kurt to him, his back flush to his chest, Blaine strokes his thumb over Kurt's tattoo. The green standing out against the creamy, paleness of Kurt's skin. Leaning forward and pressing a kiss over one of the leaves of the clover, hearing Kurt sigh in his sleep, Blaine hopes that the morning doesn't change Kurt's thoughts and feelings toward him.

Kissing the back of Kurt's neck, he keeps his lips pressed to warm skin salty with sweat, wishing he could stop the rising of the sun, and the start of a new day, and live forever in this night with Kurt.

* * *

He wakes up wondering why his pillow is so tough, only to hear the steady beat of a heart beneath his ear and recall the day before. Pretty much spending the day in bed with Blaine was something he didn't know he needed at the moment.

Propping himself up on one arm, he stares down at Blaine as he sleeps. He watches the steady rise and fall of his chest, stares at his kiss-swollen lips slightly parted as he breathes in and out. Watching him look so peaceful and happy, Kurt decides right then and there to follow Tilly's advice and tell Blaine how he feels. After he wakes up, he's going to gather the courage and tell him.

Smiling when he sees Blaine slowly blink his eyes open, he says, "Morning."

"What time is it?" Blaine asks with a scratchy voice.

"Close to nine," Kurt replies. Lying back down, and resting his head on Blaine's shoulder, Kurt definitely knows he could spend the rest of his life waking up like this. "How much longer can you stay?" He's not stupid; he knows Blaine is here without telling his parents where he was going. He knows he doesn't have much longer before he has to leave.

"Actually, I should be going." Blaine moves to sit up, but Kurt wraps an arm around his waist and pulls him back down. "Kurt, what are you doing?" he asks with a chuckle.

"You should stay," Kurt replies. "Stay and defy your dad this once."

Lying there, Kurt lets Blaine go and watches as he sits up and throws his legs over the edge of the bed. The tension in his shoulders and muscles is very noticeable as he sits there; it makes Kurt wonder what it is that has him worried.

"I have to tell you why I'm here, Kurt," Blaine says with a shaky and wavering voice.

"Tell me."

"I...I'm asking Kennedy to marry me."

It takes a few seconds for it to fully register what Blaine just told him. It sounds like a joke that was terrible and wrong, and the punchline doesn't make sense.

"W-what?" He sits up, hoping he heard wrong, but knowing he didn't.

"My dad's making me ask her at the party this coming up Saturday."

"Your...your dad?" Kurt looks at him with a hint of anger. "Blaine, when the fuck are you gonna do something for yourself? When are you gonna live your life? How long are you gonna let daddy live your life for you?"

"I do live my life!" Blaine yells as he starts to get dressed.

Kurt stands up off the bed and grabs his underwear, slipping them on.

"You live your life? That's the funniest joke I've heard in a long time," Kurt says with a fake laugh as he puts his hands on his hips and watches Blaine pull his shirt on.

"Fuck you, Kurt," Blaine angrily replies.

"Oh, we did, remember? All day yesterday. That's why you came over isn't it? To fuck me one last time before you run off and marry little miss sunshine!" Kurt fumes with anger, and knows this could quickly turn ugly if they don't get it under control. Knowing him and his mouth, he'll say something he will regret.

"I didn't come over here to fuck you," Blaine tells him, buckling his belt. "I came to tell you myself what was happening. You wanted me to fuck you, remember?" Blaine smugly says and grins at being right.

"Excuse me for wanting some," Kurt retorts. "If I had known all this would have happened I would have just called Zac."

Kurt notices Blaine snap his head up from where he is looking for his shoes. He sees the hurt his words caused in Blaine's eyes. "You don't mean that," Blaine says with hurt evident in his voice.

"Yeah, you're right," Kurt sighs. "I don't mean it. That guy is a complete asshole." Kurt chuckles and notices the corner of Blaine's mouth twitch up into a smile. "Why are you asking her?" he seriously asks, voice soft and filled with sadness.

"You know my dad, Kurt," Blaine huffs, sitting on the edge of the bed to put his shoes on.

"I also know you," Kurt tells him as he kneels behind him and drapes his arms over Blaine's shoulders. He nuzzles his nose in the crook of Blaine's neck, breathing in the smell of him. Splaying his hand over Blaine's heart, he feels the beat of it beneath his palm and wishes he could say it belonged to him. "You're stronger than him. You should stand up and fight for what you want."

"What would that be?" Blaine turns and looks at him as he asks, Kurt seeing what he thinks is a flicker of hope in his eyes.

"You..." he trails off. In that moment, he so desperately wants to tell Blaine that he should fight for him. And not even fight, just ask to be his and let him know that he's been his since he was seventeen. "You should fight for control of your life," Kurt replies instead, forcing a small smile.

Going with Blaine when he stands up, Kurt moans when he kisses him. He feels the touch of Blaine's hand at his lower back that presses him closer to Blaine's body until they are flush together.

Staring into Blaine's eyes when he drops his forehead to his, Kurt sees a glimmer of happiness in them.

"I can't, Kurt," Blaine brokenly says, holding him close. "I can't fight."

Kurt feels his heart break and his world crumble a bit. "Just...Go away, Blaine, before I say something I'll regret," he says with a weak and wavering voice as he pushes Blaine away. He turns away, staring out the window near him trying to hold back his tears.

"Kurt," Blaine says with desperation in his voice.

"Go away!" It breaks Kurt's heart to have to push away the person he loves, but Blaine already walked away; he doesn't want to waste any more energy on an argument and lose Blaine completely. "I can't look at you right now. I need some time alone to think."

"Don't hate me."

Kurt listens to Blaine's shoes hitting the wooden floor as he walks to the door. Knowing he can't let Blaine think that, he whispers, "I don't hate you, Blaine. I-I..." he trails off, biting his tongue from saying something he doesn't think he'll hear in return.

"You what?" comes Blaine's quiet voice filled with hope.

"It doesn't matter." Kurt wraps an arm across his chest, reaching to his back and runs his fingers over the edge of his tattoo. He might say it doesn't matter, but it matters more than anything. He's in love with Blaine, and hates that he never even had a chance to make him his.

Standing there and listening as Blaine leaves the room, the soft click of the door loud in the quiet room, Kurt finally lets the first tears fall. "I love you," he whispers under his breath to himself, dropping his hand from his tattoo.

What he had hoped would be positive morning, Kurt now wants to curl into a ball and cry.


	15. Chapter 15

**I just want to say that this has been planned from the beginning. It's why I carefully worded things in other chapters.**

* * *

Sitting in the warm bath, Kurt hugs his knees to his chest and loses himself in thought. He tries not to think of Blaine, because thinking about him makes an ache form in his chest and has tears forming in his eyes. So, he tries to focus on anything else.

"Kurt?" Tilly calls as she knocks on the bathroom door, pulling him from his thoughts.

"Yes," he softly replies.

"You've been in there for an hour and half. Are you okay?" she worriedly asks.

"Yeah." Kurt skims his fingertips over the top of the water, watching the water ripple outward and disappear. "I'm just...thinking."

Gripping the edges of the tub, Kurt stands up; hearing the water sloshing around, and feeling the water roll off him. Drying off, he pulls on boxers and loose fitting shirt. Opening the door, he startles a little when he finds Tilly still standing there.

"Fuck, Till, you scared me," he says as he holds a hand to his chest.

"Don't curse," she scolds him.

"Sorry," Kurt mumbles. "What are you doing here? Shouldn't you be at work?" He walks past her and to the room he sleeps in.

"I took the day off. I've been worried about you after what you told me what happened a few days ago," she tells him.

"There's nothing to worry about, Till," he assures her. "I won't be doing anything stupid." Rummaging through his bag, he pulls out a pair of jeans. Pulling them on, he sits on the edge of the bed and starts to put his shoes on.

"Where you going?" Tilly asks as she

"I have someone I need to talk to." Kurt stands up and grins; grabbing his keys, he gives Tilly a kiss on the cheek and walks out of the room, ignoring the scoff she gives him.

* * *

Illegally unlocking the door and pushing it open, Kurt steps into the apartment Blaine and he came to to be together. Looking around the space, he goes back to perfect days with Blaine without a care in the world but each other. Disarming the alarm, Kurt checks the time and ponders how long until John shows up.

Sitting down on the couch and getting comfortable, he waits for Mr. Anderson to walk through the door.

After Blaine told him about his dad's affair with someone from his office, and he saw this place, Kurt easily figured out when he came here. Remembering him always coming home late on Tuesdays and Fridays with the excuse of working extra on cases those days. Now, looking back, he feels kind of stupid for not figuring it out sooner.

He knows he's being stupid, right now, just like he told Tilly he wouldn't be, by being here right now. Staying away and doing nothing is what he should do. But he can't stay away. He has to know. He has to know why John is doing all this. Yeah, Blaine could be the one to confront him, but he knows that Blaine isn't strong enough to do that on his own. So he's doing it for him.

He fiddles with his lighter, flicking it on and off at times to pass the time and have something to do. He's not entirely sure how much time passes when he hears a key in the lock.

Hearing the door forcefully shut and people furiously kissing, Kurt sits in the dark and gags at listening to John getting all hot and heavy with someone. Walking over to the light switch in the kitchen, he flicks it on and freezes at what he finds. He stands there in shock and confusion with his mouth open trying to figure out what the fuck just happened.

He's experienced some wild and crazy shit so far in his life, witnessed things that were different and unusual, but this...Seeing this takes the fucking cake for him.

Standing there and staring at him with his own shock and surprise on his face is John. But behind him is someone Kurt never expected to see in a million years.

The guy, obviously Avery, is about ten years younger looking than John with short, brown hair and green eyes. His clothes are skewed, shirt hastily pulled from the waistband of his pants, and tie almost completely undone. His hair is a mess from where fingers have been running through it and his lips are swollen and red, making it easy for Kurt to figure out that this little escapade started in the car ride here. He mentally gags at that image, wishing he could bleach his brain.

"What the hell are you doing here?" John asks in his deep voice.

"I came here to talk to you. But, John," Kurt says in a tone that is half joking and half serious. "I had no idea. I figured you out all wrong, didn't I?"

"Who's that, John?" Avery asks, nodding his head towards Kurt.

"That's Kurt," John replies with a huff.

Kurt sees understanding dawn on Avery's face.

"Oh, Kurt," he says a little too enthusiastically. "The gay one?"

"Yes, that would be me," Kurt says as he rolls his eyes, annoyed by Avery already. "So, John, you like getting fucked by Avery?" Kurt looks Avery up and down, thinking there might have been a time he would have gone for him. "Personally, I like mine my age with curly hair and caramel colored eyes. If you know what I mean. Wink wink, nudge nudge, John."

"What do you want, Kurt?" John aggressively asks.

"How about you send your little boy toy away and we'll talk."

"Hey!" Avery rudely says, trying to make an attempt to say something back, but being stopped by John.

"Ave, just go before you do something stupid." John makes Avery look at him so he can listen.

"He's already _doing_ something stupid," Kurt says under his breath, chuckling when Avery gives him an evil glare. But John just completely ignores his snide comment.

"John is wrong. You're an asshole!" Avery remarks.

"Maybe." Kurt shrugs his shoulders and smirks, not caring about the comment. "But I'm not the one fucking a married guy. Now am I?"

"Stop talking, Kurt!" John yells at him when Avery squares his eyes and gets on the defensive. "Ave, it's just best if you leave right now."

"Fine." Avery fixes his clothes and runs his fingers through his wild hair. Looking to John, a small smile tugging at the corner of his mouth and eyes instantly filling with love, Kurt sees for himself that Blaine was right about John being in love with him as he stares back. "I'll see you later."

"Alright," John says, nodding his head and smiling. "Bye."

"Bye." Avery presses a quick kiss to John's lips. Pulling away, he flicks off Kurt before walking away.

"I'm flattered, but, no," Kurt says, smirking, waving his fingers as Avery leaves.

"What did you want to talk about, anyways?" John asks after Avery closes the door and turns to face Kurt.

"Well, I came to talk about Blaine," Kurt replies, skipping over what just happened for the moment.

"What do you have to say about him?"

"I'm in love with your son and I want you to let go of the grip you have on him."

"_You_ love my son," John comically says, smirking at Kurt. "Let me guess: you want me to stop him from asking Kennedy to marry him?"

"Yes." Kurt sees John shake his head no and pull something from the inside of his jacket pocket. He keeps his eyes on his turned back as he hears the drag of a pen on paper, having no clue what he is doing.

"Here," John says as he rips paper and holds out a check for him.

"What's this?" Kurt takes the check and sees it's written out for half a million dollars and realizes what John is doing. "Are you trying to bribe me?"

"Take that money and leave. Leave my son and move on."

Kurt looks at the check, never having held this much money before. That much money could start a new life anywhere he wanted. He could live in Paris like he's always dreamed of, or go to New York and see Broadway like he's wanted to for years, but never had the chance. But every dream he's had of those places included Blaine by his side, and he knows this is money to make him walk away from him.

Taking out his last cigarette, finally deciding to give up after this one, he grabs his lighter and flicks it. Lighting his cigarette, he takes it between his fingers and holds it in the same hand as the check, blowing the smoke out towards John. Lifting his lighter, he flicks it on and off out of habit.

"You know, its funny how you found out about Blaine and me because of this lighter." He turns it around in his hand, the smudges of fingerprints noticeable in the light.

"Funny how?"

"Like this." Kurt flicks the lighter and brings the flame to the check, watching the edge catch fire and quickly travel along the paper. Dropping it in the empty trash bin, Kurt watches it burn until there is nothing left. "I don't want your fucking money!"

"What do you want, then?!"

"Blaine!" Kurt honestly says it like it's the most fucking obvious thing in the world. "Just like I said. Simple as that."

"You can't have him."

"Why? He's not someone you can control."

"Yes, he is, that's why he's marrying Kennedy." John takes loosens his tie and walks to the kitchen. Kurt watches him pull a glass from a cabinet and grab the glass bottle of whiskey and pour himself a drink. "He's my son and I don't want him with you."

"You hate me that much that you won't let me be with him?"

John takes a sip of his drink and hangs his head, letting out a sigh. "I don't hate you, Kurt."

"That's the biggest loud of bullshit I've ever heard." Kurt laughs at the absurdity of what John said. He sits down on the couch, turning away from John. "Ever since I came out you have hated me."

"I don't hate you, Kurt," John repeats, lifting his head and finishing his drink. "I envy you."

"How the fuck could you envy me?"

"I treated you like I did because I hated seeing you being so open about yourself. I hated seeing you and knowing what could have been for me if I wasn't so scared. I envied you being yourself without a worry as to what anyone said or thought about you. You were the me I wished I could have been from the beginning."

"Why did you hide?" Kurt curiously asks, actually intrigued to know the choices John made.

"If you had known my dad you would understand," John answers, taking a sip of his whiskey.

"Sorry not trying to sound inconsiderate, but your dad is dead. Don't be someone you're not for him."

"It's more than that," John quietly adds.

Taking one final puff of his cigarette, Kurt puts it out on the cushion of the couch, not caring that he's destroying it.

"You just ruined a five thousand dollar couch," John informs him.

"Considering you just offered me a check for half a million dollars," Kurt arches an eyebrow as looks over his shoulder at John as he speaks, "I'm pretty sure you can afford a new one. Besides, I'm, also, sure you won't want it after I tell you I fucked Blaine on it." Kurt looks at John and grins. "Oops," he says with a fake innocence to his voice. "Sorry."

"You can stop now. Please," John begs.

Letting out a laugh, Kurt enjoys making John uncomfortable and mad.

"Does Sarah know?" he asks.

"No." John shakes his head. "And I would appreciate if you didn't tell her, or anyone else."

"I would never do that to anyone."

"Thanks."

Kurt stands up and walks to the fridge and pulls out a bottle of water, parched and needing something to do so he can figure out what to say. Taking a long drink of the cold water, he leans back against the kitchen island and listens to the all too quiet of the apartment.

"Did you tell Sarah about me and Blaine?" he finally speaks and asks, no longer standing the quiet.

"No." John shakes his head and takes a sip of his whiskey. "She had no need to know."

"Figures," Kurt whispers.

"Figures what?"

"You keep that you're gay from her," Kurt replies. "You wouldn't tell her that her little boy is." He sees John agree with him by minutely nodding his head. "What is it?" Kurt asks. "Why live like this? Why force Blaine to deny who he is?"

"Kurt," John sighs, running a hand over his face. "I'm just trying to protect him."

"What are you protecting him from? From me. I would never hurt hi-"

"The world!" John blurts out. "We live in a world where an innocent young man like Matthew Shepard is killed just for being who he is. I can't have that happen to my son."

"Yeah, we do live in a world like that," Kurt partially agrees. "But we also live in a world that is changing. Every day is a step closer to people seeing us and seeing we are just like everybody else. If you try to protect Blaine from everything that could harm him, you don't let him live in the end."

"I can't, Kurt," John sadly says; Kurt surprised just by how much he sounds and looks like Blaine in that instant. "I just think it will be easier for him in his life to be the clean-cut husband married to Kennedy, than deal with the trouble that will come with being with you."

"You want him to be you!" Kurt points out. "He will just do what you are doing now. Are you happy, John? Are you happy sneaking around to be with the person you love? Are you happy knowing that you're living a lie?"

"No." John shakes his head as he answers. "It's terrible knowing what I'm doing to Sarah. I love her, but I want to be with Avery. It's too fucking late to change."

"It's never too late to change," Kurt tells him.

"It is for me." John finishes his drink and pours another one. "And I'm not changing my mind about Blaine. He's marrying Kennedy, and that is that."

"There is nothing I could do to change your mind, can I?"

"No," John firmly answers, shaking his head.

"I guess there's no other reason for me to be here." Shaking his head, Kurt heads to the door, knowing he's fighting a losing battle. He has no chance of changing John's mind about Blaine.

Opening the door, Kurt stops and turns around. Letting the door close, he looks to John and grins. "I change my mind. About the money?"

* * *

**Only one more chapter and an epilogue.**


	16. Chapter 16

Waking up the Saturday morning of the party and engagement, Kurt climbs out of bed and takes a long shower, going over what he needs to do before he leaves.

After his conversation with John, he thought it best if he just left the place where there's basically nothing for him anymore. He considers the places he might go; places he's never been. He knows this time when he leaves he's not coming back.

But before he leaves, he is going to talk to Blaine and make him realize he is doing the wrong thing by going through this whole engagement thing with Kennedy.

Walking back into his room all fresh and clean, he dresses and starts to throw everything he has with him into his bag.

"I wish you would stay," Tilly says behind him.

"I know, but...I have to go." Kurt zips up his bag, patting the pocket of his jeans to make sure he has his lighter. "Once I settle somewhere you can come and visit." He turns around and slightly jumps at Tilly suddenly pulling him into a tight embrace.

"I'll visit as often as I can," she whispers, her voice wavering as she tries not to cry. "But you know with them I don't get much time off."

Pulling back, Kurt just smiles at Tilly. "You should quit. They don't deserve you."

"Yeah, I'll quit and come live with you wherever you are," Tilly jokes, letting out a small laugh. "I love you, Kurt. Just as if you were mine."

Eyes filling with tears, Kurt throws himself back into Tilly's embrace and holds her for as long as possible; never wanting to let her go. "I love you, too, Till. You were more of a mother to me than she was," he says, not having to say who he's talking about.

"Come on," Tilly tries to say in a firm voice. "No tears. Let's be happy."

Taking a step away from her, wiping away his tears, Kurt smiles and pretends to be happy even though he still hurts over Blaine.

"When are you leaving?"

"After I talk to him one last time," Kurt replies.

"Come find me and we'll say goodbye then," Tilly says, forcing a smile.

"Okay." He watches her start to walk away, thinking about how he is breaking her heart a little by leaving, like always. "Hey, Till?" Kurt says before she leaves.

"Yes?"

"What would you do if you won the lottery?"

"I'd probably travel and see the world. Why?"

"Oh...Nothing. Just one of those random questions I had." Kurt shrugs his shoulders. "You should go," he tells her. "Don't want Sarah mad at you for being late."

Waiting until he hears her drive away, making sure she is gone, he grabs his stuff and heads to his car. Throwing the bag in the trunk, he goes back inside and sits down at the table in the kitchen.

Pulling out a picture he's been working on, he goes about finishing it. Passing the time as he sits there and draws, Kurt knows deep down he is stalling. He knows he's afraid of going to try and get Blaine only to leave alone. But he is gonna try no matter what.

Finishing the picture, setting the salt shaker on it so it doesn't fly away, Kurt knows Tilly is going to love it.

Standing up and walking out of the house, locking the door and placing the key under the flower pot, he gets one last good look at the home before heading to his car. Sitting behind the wheel, he takes a deep breath and gets ready to do this.

* * *

Plopping down on his old bed, Kurt writes out a quick text to Blaine and waits for him to come up and meet him.

Standing up when the door opens, Blaine stepping in and softly closing it behind him, Kurt feels his heart stop at the mere sight of him. He looks so handsome in a two piece, dark gray suit with a black tie that has Kurt admiring him, and realizing how much he wants this to turn out how he hopes.

"Kurt, what are you doing here?" Blaine asks as he takes a few steps into the room.

"I'm leaving," Kurt starts off. Stepping close to Blaine, he takes his hand in his and links their fingers together, always surprised by how easily they fit together. "I wanted you to know. Because…Because I want you to come with me."

"What?" Blaine says with shock as he stares at Kurt.

"I'm asking you to come with me. I'm asking you to not pretend anymore with Kennedy and come with me and be who you are." Kurt smiles at Blaine.

"Go with you where?" Blaine asks.

"Wherever you want," Kurt answers, feeling a twinge of hope at Blaine's question. "So, will you come with me?"

Gazing into Blaine's eyes filled with a mixture of warmth and worry, Kurt feels his heart hammering in his chest as he waits on the edge for Blaine's reply.

"Kurt," Blaine says, cupping the side of his face. "I can't."

Taking a step back from Blaine at his words, Kurt feels his throat close and tears quickly spring to his eyes. Fighting back that urge to cry, Kurt regains his composure before speaking. "You won't come with me?" he asks with a slightly wavering voice. "Why?"

"I'm supposed to ask Kennedy to marry me," Blaine quietly admits; Kurt notices how he looks so much like a boy forced into doing something he doesn't want to.

"I know you, Blaine. You don't want to do this. Don't be like your dad, Blaine. Don't hide." Kurt clamps his mouth shut and covers it with his hand, not meaning to say that.

"What's that supposed to mean?"

"It's not my secret to tell."

"Either you tell me here or I go outside and confront him in front of all those people." Blaine gives him a look that says he'll do it.

Kurt takes a deep breath and decides to tell him. "You were right about Avery. You were just wrong in thinking it was a woman."

"No, that's not true. You're lying." For some reason that hurts more than it should for Kurt. Having Blaine think he would lie about something as big as this, but he sees the confusion and the uncertainty written all over his face. He sees Blaine trying to fight the truth he was just told, because the truth changes everything for him. "Are you lying to me?" he says with a quiet and broken voice.

"No," Kurt replies, tentatively taking a step forward. "I met him when I went to talk to your dad at the apartment a few days ago."

"Why...why would he lie?"

"He thought he was protecting himself. He thought it would be easier to hide. He thinks he's doing the right thing by making you be with Kennedy." Kurt closes the space between them and wraps his arms around Blaine, practically melting into his touch when he holds him back. "So, you see, don't hide from who you are. Be with me, Blaine," Kurt pleads. "Come away and be with me."

"It's not that easy, Kurt."

"Yes it is."

"No." Blaine shakes his head and takes a step back. "I can't let all those people down. I can't hurt them. I'm sorry."

Kurt watches Blaine begin to walk away and knows he won't have another chance. Right then is when he needs Blaine to know the truth.

"I'm in love with you." He sees Blaine stop in his tracks. "I've known I've been in love with you since I was seventeen and you held me that day when I was crying about my parents. I've fallen more in love with you with each passing day since then. Even when you were breaking my heart, I loved you. I'll always love you. I shouldn't have waited four years to tell you. But...I'm telling you now. I love you with every fiber of my being." Kurt feels his heart soar when Blaine turns around, seeing a single tear roll down his cheek.

"You...you love me?" he asks through a shaky voice.

"Yes." Kurt grins and nods his head. "I'm hoping and praying you'll feel the same."

"I..." Right when Kurt thinks everything is going to be fine, that Blaine will say he loves him too when he looks at him, he's mistaken. "I'm sorry, Kurt." With that, he watches Blaine easily walk out of the room and away from him...again.

The wind gets knocked right out of him, and with the soft click of his door, he falls to his knees. It's hard for him to breathe and a pain in his chest is the worst thing he's ever felt. It feels as if a piece of who he is has just broken off and left him ruined.

Taking in gulping breaths of air, he holds a hand to his chest as he feels his heart breaking. Tears freely slide down his face as he stays there on the floor with the knowledge that Blaine didn't love him.

He feels stupid for thinking he ever did. He was wishing when he looked into Blaine's eyes and saw what he thought was love in them as he gazed at him. To think it was never for Blaine what it was for him is the worst feeling; makes him sob for giving his heart to someone who never saw him as nothing more than a friend.

Composing himself as best he can, Kurt wipes the tears from his face and stands up. Doing what he can to hold back his tears, Kurt walks out of his room and slowly heads downstairs.

Throwing his arms around Tilly when he sees her at the bottom of the staircase, he buries his face in the side of her neck and quietly sobs. He takes a bit of comfort when she holds him and tries to calm him down. "He just walked away, Till. I told him I loved him and he walked away," he quietly sobs into the side of her neck.

"Then he's an idiot."

Kurt lets a small smile appear on his lips at Tilly's words. Pulling back, he wipes away his tears and looks at Tilly. "I don't understand. How could he walk away after I said that?"

"I don't know, Kurt. But it's best if you just go," Tilly tells him in a comforting voice.

"Yeah, I guess I should go, then."

"Okay." Tilly nods her head. "I guess this is goodbye."

"Yeah," Kurt whispers. Hugging Tilly tight, again, he holds her for as long as possible. "Bye, Till. I'll miss you."

"I'll miss you, too," Tilly replies. "Bye, honey."

Giving Tilly a kiss on the cheek, noticing her eyes fill with tears, Kurt puts on a smile, knowing Tilly doesn't need to see him crying anymore. "Bye, Till," he quietly says one last time.

Letting her go, he turns and walks for the front door, finally letting the tears fall again.

* * *

Blaine stands there still in a state of shock. People around him are enjoying the party unaware of the thoughts in his head.

As he stands there, all he can think about is Kurt saying he loved him.

He feels like a fucking idiot for not knowing, and realizing, sooner. That first night they were together and how gently and lovingly he kissed him is when he had hoped that's how Kurt felt. He should have truly known then that Kurt was in love with him, but he was terrified of hoping and wishing and finding out it was just easy for Kurt to fake it.

God, Kurt fucking loves him, something he's wanted for years, and he fucking walks away from that. He realizes he's being the biggest fucking dumbass by continuing to stand there and not going after Kurt. Yeah, he doesn't want to hurt the people around him; let them down. His dad might hate his choice, his mom might disagree with who he loves, but this isn't about them. This is about him and what _he_ wants.

He thinks about himself and how this is his happiness he should be thinking about. It's his life and he should live how, and with whom, he rightfully chooses. Because in the end, him being happy will always coincide with him being with Kurt. Kurt whose heart he surely just broke...again.

Wanting him, and only him, he decides to be himself and make the choice to go after him. To show Kurt that he's been in love with him, too. Looking around, seeing his parents and a few other recognizable faces, he breathes and gets ready to go.

"Are you going after him?" Kennedy suddenly says under her breath when she comes up and stands next to him, stopping him before he even has a chance to leave.

"What?!" he says shocked, not believing what he just heard.

"I heard the two of you just now. I went looking for you and I heard everything." He looks to Kennedy and sees the forced smile she wears and the sadness filling her eyes.

"I'm so sorry, Kennedy," Blaine apologizes, wiping away the tear that rolls down her cheek. "I didn't mean to hurt you. It's just..."

"I've always known, Blaine," Kennedy whispers so those around them don't hear. "I knew you were in love with someone else for as long as we've been together. But I always overlooked it because I hoped one day it would be me that you felt that way towards. It would be me that you could fall in love with."

"Kenn-"

"I think in the back of my mind I knew it was him. How you looked completely and utterly happy when you talked about him or when I saw you with him." Kennedy fixes his tie and buttons his jacket. "I wished that one day you would have looked at me like you look at him. Blaine," she smiles, "you looked at him as if the world was created just so you could be with him. I can't compete with that; not by a long shot."

"I do love you, Kennedy," Blaine tells her.

"But not how I love you."

"I'm sorry, no."

Kennedy's smile wavers and she lets another tear fall. "Go after him, then. Because I can't be with someone if it's a lie." Blaine notices her eyes dart to his mom across the way standing next to his dad. "Do you think she knows?"

"I'm not sure."

"Even if she did, she chose to stay. I can't." Kennedy smiles at him. "Now, if you don't leave and get the man you love I will hit you," she teases, letting out a small laugh.

Blaine leans forward and gives her one final kiss.

It's an apology and a goodbye and thank you. It's the only he can give her in way of everything happening; the only thing he _can_ give her. Because in the end everything else about him belongs to Kurt. So, he kisses her until she breaks away with a choked off sob and tear-filled eyes.

"Go after him now." It's the last thing she says before she walks away.

With those words, he runs. Runs past the crowd of people who give him strange looks, past his parents who are confused, and past everything and everyone that was holding him back. He runs across the huge backyard to find the one person he's wanted more than anything in the world.

Running up the stairs of the porch and inside.

"Blaine!" He hears his father call when he reaches the small library. "What the hell are you doing?!"

"I'm going after Kurt."

"No, you're not! You are going back outside and proposing to that girl!" His dad demands. He grabs Blaine's arm and yanks him towards him.

"No!" Blaine yells, yanking his arm free and taking a few steps back. "I'm not going to be you, dad." He notices the shock cross his father's face. "I love him and I'm going to do something about it. I'm not going hide anymore; not going be you for the rest of my life pretending to be someone I'm not."

"People will hate you, Blaine." His father looks at him as if he's trying to make him understand that; that it won't be as easy as it once was.

"But he'll still love me. That's all I care about." Taking a few more steps back, Blaine turns around and runs.

Running down the hallway, stopping when he sees Tilly, he opens his mouth to ask if she's seen him when she beats him to the punch.

"You just missed him," she says with a huge smile and tilt of her head behind her.

"Thank you!" He runs past her and outside. Looking around, tons of cars in front of him, he finally spots Kurt standing in front of his car. "Kurt!"

* * *

Wiping away the tears that won't stop falling, Kurt unlocks his car and doesn't understand why he can't move. It's almost as if he's rooted to the spot, and knowing that once he leaves it's for good. No more being anchored to this place because of Blaine; this place that long ago, and just now, stopped being home for him. Blaine was the home he realized he always had.

Closing his eyes and taking a deep breath, he drops his head in his hands and cries, hoping a broken heart isn't too deadly.

But it's through his tears that he thinks he hears him. Lifting his head, he feels his heart stop when Blaine calls his name again. Turning around, he watches Blaine run up to him. The second he's in front of him, he's instantly being kissed like there's no tomorrow. Draping his arms over Blaine's shoulders, Kurt gets lost in a kiss that feels like the start of forever.

"Of course I love you," Blaine breathlessly says when he pulls back, smiling at him. "I think I've been in love with you since I was eight years old and didn't fully understand what I was feeling. I'm going to stop hiding who I am. I want to be with you forever. If you'll have me."

"Of course I want you." Kurt smiles wide, pressing close to Blaine's body.

"I love you," Blaine tells him.

Kurt feels his eyes get watery and in the next moment he's being kissed again. "I love you," he says between kisses.

"I love you, too," Blaine replies, making his heart soar.

"Say it again." Kurt wants to hear the sound of it on Blaine's tongue as he tells him over and over and over again.

"I love you."

"Say it again."

Kurt smiles when Blaine holds him tight and lifts him up, and yelling at the top of his lungs for everybody close by to hear, "I love you!"

Throwing his head back and smiling, Kurt decides to declare his love as loud as possible, as well. "I love you!" he yells, looking back to Blaine and capturing his lips in a passionate kiss.

"It's about damn time!" Kurt hears Tilly yell from where she's standing on the steps leading up to the house.

Kurt laughs, looking over to her and seeing guests spilling out of the house trying to figure out what Blaine is doing, and what is going on at the moment.

"Want to get out of here?" he asks when Blaine sets him down and looks behind him and sees his parents join the group.

"Yes!" Blaine excitedly says when he looks to him.

Opening his door, seeing Blaine run around to the passenger side and climb in, he immediately starts the car and drives away from everything that was holding Blaine and him back.

"Where do you want to go?" Kurt asks even though he's referring to more than just right now.

"Anywhere! Everywhere! I don't care as long as I'm with you."

Kurt grins at knowing that, now, anywhere and everywhere will be amazing because Blaine will be by his side.

* * *

**Only the epilogue left and then this story will be finished.**


	17. Epilogue

**We've come to the end of this story. I want to say a BIG thank you to everyone that has read and left a comment on this story. Can't believe this story is over; I had great fun writing this one.**

* * *

Kurt stands in front of the picture he's been working on for a few weeks. Rubbing his brow, feeling paint smear across his skin, he wonders if he took on a new medium too soon. He's been working with paint for about a year and a half now and it's a bit tougher than he first anticipated. Shoving his hands in the openings of his paint stained overalls; he gets a good look at his picture.

He wants to throw the picture out the window and start over with his charcoals that he's comfortable with. But doing that would only result in him getting further frustrated and upset. And it's already too late to start over on this piece when he has less than a month left before the opening.

Walking out of the room Blaine and he turned into a place he could work, Kurt goes to the kitchen and finds him sitting at the island eating lunch and finishing reading the morning paper.

It's been a little over three years since that day at the Anderson's home when Blaine told him that he was in love with him and they left together. Staying with Tilly for a few days afterwards until they could get their bearings, they went to New York after talking about what they wanted to do. With the money Tilly was adamant about him taking after she learned what he did, they used some of that to move into the apartment they now live in.

He started taking a few classes at an art school a few months after they moved to New York. The classes were great for the few months he attended them. But, he was right in the end, that taking the classes wasn't exactly for him and what he needed. So, he works at home when Blaine isn't there, liking the distraction of paints and charcoals and acrylics until he gets home.

Once, he asked Blaine if he hated him for not working in the traditional sense and staying home. Blaine reassured him that whatever he did was fine by him as long as he was happy, even if it meant he stayed home and drew just for himself. Kurt held him close and thanked him and told him he loved him so much, saying in a joking manner he would make up for it when he became a famous artist. Blaine said he shouldn't joke when it will happen for real.

So, here he is now, trying to finish off the last piece for the gallery he rented to make his grand debut into the art world.

"I think this gallery showing was a terrible idea," Kurt moans as he sits down next to Blaine, resting his head on his shoulder.

"Still the painting?" Blaine asks even though he doesn't have to.

"Yes," Kurt replies. "One day it looks great to me and the next it looks like it belongs in a landfill."

"How about you show me this ever mysterious painting and I can tell you what I think?"

"Not gonna happen. You have to wait 'til opening night," Kurt tells him. It's something he asked Blaine for when he got the gallery and immediately knew what the main piece would be. He wants to surprise him with the picture. If he ever finishes the damn thing! "Besides, you always like my stuff."

"Because there all amazing and easy to like." Blaine smiles at him, giving him a kiss that quickly becomes heated.

Kurt steps off his stool and pulls Blaine off the one he's sitting on.

"Come on," he seductively says. "We can have some fun in the shower."

Heading to the bathroom as he kisses Blaine, letting him undo the clips of the overalls, feeling it fall and hang around his waist. Pulling Blaine's shirt over his head, he lifts his arms as Blaine does the same for him. Giggling when Blaine lifts him up, wrapping his legs around his waist, Kurt loves that he has yet, and probably never will, tire of being with him.

* * *

Stepping out of the shower and drying off, Kurt stands in front of the mirror in the bathroom and dries his hair, noticing his hands shaking with nerves.

He never though this day would come after five months of work.

Everything that he's done so far with his art has lead up to this for him. This is his big day. This is the day he shows the world, but more like the art world of New York, who he is. This is when he can start to make a name for himself and people can start to, hopefully, recognize him for what he does and loves. This is his grand debut.

Walking out to the bedroom, he finds Blaine in only his underwear scouring the closet for something to wear.

"It doesn't have to be too formal, Blaine," Kurt reminds him. "Just something nice."

"I know, babe, but this is your big night and I want to look nice for you." He sees Blaine pull a pair of pants and consider them for a second before putting them back.

Going up to him and wrapping his arms around his waist, he kisses the back of Blaine's neck, breathing in the smell of bodywash and a smell that is all Blaine lingering on his skin and smiles. "I love you," he says against his neck.

"I love you, too," Blaine says back.

"Now sit down and I'll choose something for you." Kurt kisses the back of his neck again and shoos him away.

Looking through his clothes, he picks a pair black dress pants and simple button up shirt. Handing them to Blaine, he starts to dress as well.

Hands shaking as he does every button of his shirt, Kurt begins to get scared of no one showing up. Blaine's hands covering his calm his nerves a tad, but not enough to make him less scared. "What if no one comes?" he worriedly asks as he looks up at Blaine.

"They will," Blaine tells him as he finishes buttoning his shirt. "If not, I plan to make this night memorable."

"How, may I ask, do you plan on doing that?"

"It's a surprise." Blaine grins at him, wrapping his arms around his waist and pulling him close.

Kurt moans into the kiss Blaine gives him, knowing with at least Blaine by his side this night won't be so terrifying for him.

* * *

Holding Blaine's hand tight in his, Kurt walks into the gallery and stops in his tracks when he sees the crowd of people inside admiring his work and talking with each other. Getting a bit shy when everybody notices him, he smiles when Blaine quietly whispers a congratulations into his ear.

"Thanks," he softly replies, giving him a quick kiss.

"You two always warm my heart." Kurt looks to where he heard the familiar voice and flings himself at Tilly standing a few inches from him.

"Tilly!" he yells a little too loudly. He hugs her tight, feeling him squeeze her arms around him. "I've missed you."

"You saw me six months ago, Kurt," Tilly says with a small laugh, finally letting him go.

"I still missed you."

"I know. I missed you, too. It's good to see you, too, Blaine," she says.

Blaine hugs her and she hugs back. "It's great seeing you again, Till," he tells her.

"Are you taking care of my Kurt?" she jokingly asks, playfully staring him down. "I don't want to hurt you if you aren't."

"Yes, Till," Blaine replies with a little chuckle. "I think I'm doing a pretty great job so far."

"He's been amazing, as usual, Till," Kurt butts in and says, smiling at Blaine. "How's the world?"

"Beautiful and big," Tilly replies with a chuckle. "You two should let me take you somewhere. It's the least I could do."

"Nah," Kurt responds as he shakes his head. "You deserved it. Not us."

"You're still not going to tell Blaine and me how you got so much money?" Tilly questions as she reaches over and smoothes out Kurt's shirt.

"Nope." Kurt smiles, minutely shaking his head.

"Trust me, Till," Blaine adds. "I've tried. But he's keeping his lips sealed on that secret."

"Have you talked to Kennedy lately?" Tilly asks to change the subject.

"She called me this morning to congratulate me and wish me good luck," Kurt tells her as he wraps his arm around Blaine's waist. "She said she was sorry her and Riley couldn't make it tonight."

"We can show her the gallery when she visits in a few weeks," Blaine says into his ear.

"Yeah," Kurt agrees.

"Excuse me, Mr. Hummel, may I talk to you for a few minutes?" A middle-aged man in a sports coat and black glasses asks him.

"Sure," Kurt responds. He looks to Blaine as if not sure what to do.

"Don't worry," Blaine says as he gives him a quick kiss. "I need to talk to Till about something anyways."

"Okay." Kurt nods his head and watches Blaine walk off with Tilly by his side to the nearby small bar set up.

Turning his attention to the man who wanted to talk to him, he tries not to think about what Blaine needed to talk to Tilly about.

After talking to Perry, an art critic, for a few minutes, Kurt goes to where Blaine is still with a now upset looking Tilly.

"What's wrong?" he asks, worried something bad happened.

"Oh, nothing," Tilly says as she dabs her eyes. "I'm just so happy for everything good happening to you."

"What did you talk to her about, Blaine? You made her cry."

"They're happy tears," Tilly reassures him.

"I said nothing wrong," Blaine defends even though he has a sly smile on his face.

"I'm on to you, Anderson," Kurt teasingly says, playfully glaring at him. "Come on." He takes Blaine's hand and starts to walk away from Tilly. "I promised I'd show you the painting."

"Oh, the panting!" Blaine exclaims as if he forgot.

Leading him to the back of the gallery and behind a wall, about twenty people all admiring the one picture hanging up, he stops in front of the painting and hears Blaine gasp.

The picture is of Blaine from when they were at the apartment for those few days. He sits on the couch facing him, head resting on the back couch cushion and the biggest smile on his face as he looks at him. His eyes filled with pure happiness that he always sees there now.

It was always the one picture Kurt couldn't get right while they were there whenever he tried to draw it. And over the years it still proved to be a difficult picture to draw. But that image never left his head. The image of Blaine looking nothing short of completely happy is one that he won't soon be forgetting.

"It's fantastic, Kurt," Blaine whispers, eyes glued to the painting.

"Thanks," he tells him, laughing at Blaine not being able to tear his eyes away from the painting.

"Is it vain to say it's the best piece in the gallery?"

"I don't think so," Kurt responds with a laugh.

"How much?" Kurt hears a lady ask.

"Oh, I'm not su-" Kurt stops talking when he turns around and sees who's standing there.

"Mom?" Blaine whispers besides him. "What are you doing here?"

"I came for many reasons," she replies, tentatively taking a step forward. "But I came to, finally, apologize."

"For what?" Kurt asks with a bit of an edge to his voice, still seeing her as the woman who disregarded him because he was gay.

After Blaine and he left, she never made an effort, before now, to talk to him. He tried once to apologize to her, but she simply turned her back to him. After that, he wanted nothing to do with her. Hell, even after about a year, John and came and made an effort to apologize to both of them and tell them he supported them; and that because of them, he was able to come clean to Sarah and be with Avery. But Sarah never even tried with him; only talking to Blaine.

"I turned my back on you when you needed a mother most in your life. I thought for the longest time I was being just in how I was acting. But I was wrong, and I'm terribly sorry for everything." She looks at him with nothing but honesty in her eyes.

"Why?" Kurt asks hurt and still confused by her actions.

"Can I ask you to lunch tomorrow and I can explain everything?"

Kurt looks to Blaine and sees him slightly nod his head, telling him without saying anything that it might be a good idea.

Looking back to Sarah, Kurt takes a deep breath and agrees.

"Thank you," Sarah kindly says.

"Just because I do this doesn't mean I forgive you," Kurt tells her, needing her to know it won't be that easy.

"I understand." She smiles at him, Kurt seeing her vision go to the painting behind him. "You're a magnificent artist, Kurt. Don't let anyone ever tell you otherwise."

"Thank you," Kurt replies, genuinely thankful for the compliment.

"I think I'll go now." Sarah takes a few steps to Blaine and kisses him on the cheek, telling him bye.

Kurt watches her walk away until she is gone from his sight. Dropping his forehead to the middle of Blaine's chest, he breathes and wonders what the hell just happened. "Did that really just happen?" he asks confounded and still a bit dazed by the whole thing.

"Yeah." Kurt smiles when Blaine wraps his arms around his waist and holds him close and tight.

"Don't tell me that was how you planned to make this night memorable?" Kurt laughs, tilting his head back and gazing into Blaine's eyes.

"No." Blaine shakes his head. "She never even mentioned once to me she was coming."

"What's the big surprise, then?"

"I can do it now."

Kurt goes with Blaine when he takes his hand, feeling him squeeze it, and feeling him slightly shaking with nerves. "You're not gonna dance are you? Because I think we should spare the people that."

"No, I'm not dancing," Blaine replies with a chuckle.

Going back to where everybody is, Kurt smiles and says hello to people, standing in the middle of the gallery where Blaine tells him to. He watches him go get Tilly, seeing her walking back and holding two flutes of champagne. Taking the one she offers, he grins at Blaine and what it is he's doing.

"What on earth are you doing?"

"I wanted to first congratulate you on your first amazing gallery. It's wonderful, Kurt, and I couldn't be more proud." Blaine kisses him and smiles. "Let's drink to that."

Clinking his glass to Blaine's, Kurt raises an eyebrow and brings his glass up to his lips. It's while he tips it back does he hear the clink of something moving in his glass. Bringing it down and looking inside, he freezes at what sits on the bottom of the glass. Looking up, he gasps and covers his mouth when he sees Blaine bent down on one knee grinning up at him.

"Oh, my god! Oh, my god!" Looking around and seeing every pair of eyes trained on them, Kurt can't believe this actually happening. His heart races in his chest and tears fill his eyes, and he already knows his answer but still wanting to hear Blaine's speech.

"Kurt," Blaine starts off, taking his hand when he drops it from his mouth. "I was eight years old when I first met you and thought you were the cutest boy I had ever seen. I have loved you from that day, and even though we had some rough patches on our journey to get here, I know with all my heart that I want to spend the rest of my life with. I want to share our days together until we have no more. I want to create a family with you. I want to know that I have forever with you. So...Kurt..." Blaine trails off, Kurt hearing his voice shake with nerves.

"Ask me and it's yours," Kurt tells him, saying the same thing from three years ago.

Blaine grins up at him and asks, "Can I have your hand in marriage?"

Kurt brings the glass up to his lips and drains it in one drink. Turning the glass over and letting the ring fall into his hand, he hands it to Blaine, holding out his hand.

"Yes!" he eagerly replies, nodding his head and smiling.

He feels as Blaine slips the ring on his finger and stands, smiling into the kiss he gives him. All around him the people start cheering and clapping, but at the moment all he notices is Blaine. All he cares about is the press of lips to his. All he can focus on is Blaine.

Blaine who he's going to marry and spend forever with.

Blaine who was worth fighting for.

He knows this is just the beginning of their amazing life together.

* * *

**Thank you, again, for reading this story. Also, I have stories planned in this verse. So, look out for those. I might post the first one in a few days.**


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